spin-off: What self care tasks SHOULD a 6 year old be able to do herself? - Page 2

[MtBikeLover]

My 5.5 year old can:

Wash her own body/hair
Brushes her hair in the morning
Pick out her own clothes & get dressed
Get her own cups/bowls/plates down from the cabinets and prepare her own snacks.
Heat up chicken nuggets in the microwave (I found this out yesterday!)
Fix the dog her food
Brush her own teeth
Wipe her own butt
Hang her own clothes
Clear her dishes after dinner
Wash dishes
Wipe down the kitchen table after dinner
Water the plants outside

My DD is very independent and I agree with what Allison said below. It is totally dependent on the child's personality. My 7 year old son can do all of these things, but he needs lots of reminders. He is also too into his own world to think twice about going outside and watering the plants. He'll do it if I ask, but I have to ask. DD is the total opposite. She asks to do all this stuff and likes to surprise me by coming out in the morning all dressed and ready to go. She also loves to help clean and take care of the dog and make her own meals.

[lnitti]

Originally Posted by AllisonR

OP - something to consider - it TOTALLY depends on the personality of the child. It isn't a race. Maybe your older DDs love language is care, she wants to see how you care for her, so you helping her dress = love to her. Ok, that's a bit simplistic, but you get the idea. And maybe your youngest DD has a totally different love language?

I have a 3.5 yo who can do most of the things on people's list - get dressed/undressed, pick out her clothes (barf, often hurts my eyes), pours own drinks, gets snacks, puts away clean/dirty dishes.... BUT - she is a very independent, "I CAN DO IT MYSELF" girl.

Meanwhile, I also have a 5.5 yo DS, who does not want to do most of the things on the list. He says "I can't, you need to help me mommy." Me picking out his clothes and helping him put them on, to him this means I love him. It's just really not his interest. Now technically he can, because when he is at kindergarten he can dress himself... just fine. Which means there is no worry that there is something wrong, only that it is personality. There are other things, not self-care, that he is totally awsome at. Sometimes I have to remind myself that my two kids are just really different. Though often it's super obvious.

That is a really good point about personality.

I am just reading through these other posts here, and my dd does not do alot of these things. She absolutely refuses to pick up her toys, instead she will have a temper tantrum. Once in a blue moon she may be willing to make her bed or help with laundry, and never with cleaning (except they both enjoy "cleaning" the tub with me).

As far as getting own snacks, I actually don't think I could allow her to do that if dd2 is around. dd2 has food allergies, and I cannot rely on dd1 to understand how to make sure dd2 is safe. Some days when she does not have school, when I leave for work, I will leave a selection of crackers or cereal out that she can eat while dh is still sleeping. But I would not feel comfortable with her making a sandwich or getting out milk or something on her own because of the allergy issue. what if she spills the milk? it isn't just an issue of cleaning up, but cleaning up exceptionally well to remove any allergy risk. Or what if she cross-contaminates something and I don't know so we keep using it. I can't chance that. She doesn't use the microwave or toaster. She has not used sharp knives yet. She has never cut her own food (I honestly never thought about it since I am already cutting it for the younger dd, I typically do both at the same time, then split it between their plates).

She does not set the table or clear it. She does not comb her hair or wash it. I wash her hair, and lather her up, she rinses her self after I rinse her hair, and I adjust the water. She does not use the dishwasher or the washer and dryer (she isn't tall enough). Once in a blue moon, she may be willing to help dust and never vacuum (although when she was younger, she got a kick out of it).

Normally any requests for her to do anything around the house are met with temper tantrums and meanness to everyone. She just wants to play and doesn't want to be bothered with anything else.

Sometimes she will play with the younger dd so that I can do things like take a shower or cook, but more often than not, it is not play, it is fighting. However, I have heard her on a couple of occasions helping dd2 use the toilet or something. I have also sent the two of them upstairs asking her to help dd2 pick out some clothes and put them on (which she can really do on her own, with occasional difficulties putting something on - like arm in the wrong hole).

[Surfacing]

[loraxc]

DD is 6.

She takes her own showers, brushes her own teeth, puts away her laundry if she is home when it needs to be done, clears her own dishes, and gets her own snacks sometimes (only nonrefrigerated ones--I admit, I don't let her scavenge in the fridge). She is capable of putting herself to bed when this is necessary (she and DS go to bed at the same time, so sometimes I ask her to do this when DH is out). She cleans her room once a week and uses the dustbuster to vacuum up any messes she makes.

The kids (DS is 2) are responsible for cleaning up the living room at the end of the day, and believe me, it gets trashed.

She does not pour her own milk because we get gallons and she isn't very good at pouring something that big. I also have not taught her to use knives or the stove. She doesn't seem ready. She also does not brush or fix her own hair--it's long and very tangly.