Let me clarify some things...because the general consensus seems to be "You're an alcoholic and in denial". And you are all wondering why I say I'm not an alcoholic.
I'm not splitting hairs here. Alcoholism is a serious thing and that term shouldn't be thrown around loosely. It has nothing to do with not wanting to label myself. I am willing to label myself...but with the proper label.
I do have an alcohol problem. I DO. I'm not in denial about that. The place I am in, mentally, right now is that I need to get my drinking under control. I believe that I'll be able to significantly lower the amount of alcohol I drink. It may not be super easy to start with or fun....but I believe it IS doable. And thankfully my DH is more than willing to accommodate me
Now, should I prove unable to, on my own, successfully get my drinking under control, then clearly I need to seek some outside help. I would probably talk to my doctor (OBGYN) first, then find a counselor. I don't feel at this point that's needed...YET.
But like I said...I'm giving myself this month to 'fix' this...that's step one. If step one fails...step two (doc & counseling) will come into play. With the quickness
Okay, back to why I'm not an alcoholic.
There is more than one type of drinking problem. It's not one size fits all, I guess you could say it's a spectrum? For those interested in the different types of alcohol problems, check out this:http://www.naho.ca/english/pdf/types...l_problems.pdf
Full disclosure - once again, kinda sorta proving I'm not in denial - I've dealt with 6 of the 9 signs of harmful drinking (listed under alcohol abuse). Not every time I drink...but at one point or another they are true. In case you're curious which 6, they are 1,2,6,7,8 and 9. (I realize they aren't numbered...just count
Psychological dependence. Yes. Check. I've stated that I use alcohol as a means to relax, or if I'm stressed. Not always, but in general...especially the relaxing part! It IS relaxing!
Alcohol dependence? NO.
I'm currently...and THANKFULLY...still in the stage of just wanting to drink. I don't NEED to drink. I drink often, and a lot, but not daily. When I don't drink I feel fine.
MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY.
This isn't me justifying or denying or rationalizing anything. It just is. These are the facts about my problem - which currently I'd label as abuse. I am an alcohol abuser...and it's creating a psychological dependence.
Back to what I said in my original post - I am heading towards alcoholism...but I am not an alcoholic.
My "craving" for alcohol can be equated to my craving for chocolate...which I also probably have a problem with. I want it and sometimes I'm just like, "Dang...I reaaally want some chocolate". Not, "I need some chocolate to function".Alcoholism:
a chronic disorder characterized by dependence on alcohol, repeated excessive use of alcoholic beverages, the development of withdrawal symptoms on reducing or ceasing intake, morbidity that may include cirrhosis of the liver, and decreased ability to function socially and vocationally.
I bolded the word AND because it does matter. It's not "OR"...it's "AND".
Here is another link about the differences of alcohol problems and alcoholism: http://alcoholism.about.com/od/about/a/alcoholism.htm
I really hope I was clear enough in this post. My reason for sharing my problem in the first place wasn't to have people tell me I'm an alcoholic in denial...but I'm sure you all could've guessed that. Had I known it was going to go that way I wouldn't have posted at all.
I merely wanted some support in my effort to get my problem, which I'm not minimizing or in denial about, and if I was...I wouldn't have posted, under control.
Maybe some tips from people that have experienced needing to minimize their drinking, or suggestions on what to do instead of drinking...you know, that kinda thing.
So I really don't know what else to say here. I have done my research and am confident (I know I'm repeating this a lot, but I really want the point to get across) that I'm NOT an alcoholic, but I'm on my way if things don't change...and change quickly.
Being on your way isn't the same thing as being. There is research and facts on this - and I've looked into it, and I'm aware of all my actions and symptoms and am sure of this and myself.
If this isn't clear and everyone still things I'm in denial or whatever, I guess I'll just look to the people I know IRL for support. That's all.