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Alaskans Chat: Jump for Joy its June - Page 6

post #101 of 127
6/24/10 at 4:19pm
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...4#post15554654

New Alaskan!

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post #102 of 127
6/24/10 at 4:23pm


Congratulations! Can't wait to hear the story!
post #103 of 127
6/24/10 at 4:36pm
WOW that is a lot of hair! My babies are so bald!
(and pushing 9 lbs, I'm glad I made the soaker a S instead of a NB )
post #104 of 127
6/24/10 at 4:40pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1stimestar View Post
Help me come up with a ceremony. It's for my son. He is terribly afraid of bees. He's not allergic. He's only been stung once. Now that we live out of town especially, we have a lot of bees. Not wasps, not yellow jackets, just happy little buzzing bees looking for flowers. I think if I could come up with a good visual/relaxation script for him, it would help. We have done some light hypnotherepy with things before. We always smudge a new house when we have moved, etc. So he is used to this idea. He's 11. I am thinking of going through his feelings when he sees a bee, increased heartrate, adrenaline released into his bloodstream, increased breath rate, and giving him a self talk dialog to reassure himself that it is ok to feel these things, but that he is safe, that the bee doesn't want to hurt him and is only going about his normal daily job. I would like ideas though. I think making it more ceremonial will help make it more successfull.
A couple of things that occur to me
1--doing theraputic art (a la birthing from within) release the fears via art
2--I like the talking/visualizing through it. I think that's very productive.
3--Consider some kind of 'strengthening' thing, like a symbol or token of his new self. Maybe a necklace or bracelet with a little talisman? Or honestly, I'd probably bust out the henna and let him pick a symbol of strength or safety or something. He'll have it on him for a while as a constant reminder, and as it wears off he'll have the healthier habits in place.
post #105 of 127
6/24/10 at 6:43pm
Congratulations, Pinoikoi, and welcome to (little?) Ursula!

What a great story!

love, p
post #106 of 127
6/24/10 at 6:54pm
Oh, Pinoikoi, she's GORGEOUS!! Congratulations on your precious DAUGHTER!!!
post #107 of 127
6/24/10 at 7:18pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by brightonwoman View Post
A couple of things that occur to me
1--doing theraputic art (a la birthing from within) release the fears via art
2--I like the talking/visualizing through it. I think that's very productive.
3--Consider some kind of 'strengthening' thing, like a symbol or token of his new self. Maybe a necklace or bracelet with a little talisman? Or honestly, I'd probably bust out the henna and let him pick a symbol of strength or safety or something. He'll have it on him for a while as a constant reminder, and as it wears off he'll have the healthier habits in place.
Oh great idea about the thereputic art and the henna. I just pulled a cone out of the freezer for him so will go look up some kanji. I'm also telling him he needs to shower first and I'll wash his hair with a special "rinse", a little apple cider vinager is good for the hair lol. Hmm, symbol. Let me think. We are doing it this afternoon as he has been looking forward to being fear free and keeps asking me about it. It has been getting so bad he doesn't even want to go to the outhouse.
post #108 of 127
6/25/10 at 2:35am
Thread Starter 
Welcome to the world little bear!!! Congratulations, Pinoikoi.
post #109 of 127
6/26/10 at 9:30am
I love her name, Pinoikoi! Welcome to Alaska, baby!
post #110 of 127
6/26/10 at 1:34pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Denali View Post
I know EXACTLY what you mean

All the Moms at our church - and amongst them people of whom until then I had thought to be friends or potential friends - responded with "how to spank"-advice when I wanted to talk about our 2 year old acting up......yeah right.

Spoiled my church experience and made me feel all alone in my non-spanking ways
My church mama friends are quickly spoiling my church experience too. Sad, because I really can't imagine Jesus (as he's portrayed in the Bible anyway) spanking his kid or letting a baby CIO. *sigh*

Quote:
Originally Posted by roadfamily6now View Post
so I ran into a nurse that works for Dr. B here in town. She asked how my client was and I mentioned that she was looking to do a Home VBAC. Well, this ladies eyes just about bugged out of her head! She said, 'Wow! That is so risky!". I simply told her is was not as risky as many people make it out to be.
We continued to discuss VBACs and stuff. I was so very good about not sounding like a "know it all". She told me Dr. B. does not like to do VBACs which I found particularly interesting since all the Doulas in town say he is one of the few that WILL do them.
Some how we got around to talking about how big babies require a c-section and I asked her how they know a baby will be big. She said with ultrasounds. So I asked her if they do the U/S in the last trimester and she said they usually only do the one at 20 weeks but if they have twins or GD, they will have more scans. I said "so even though the research shows that ultrasounds done after 20 weeks are inaccurate they still use those to tell how big the baby is?" and she said, "Oh they are quite accurate, and we do recommend a c-section for baby's over 8 pounds"

Anyway, the look on her face was priceless when I told her I have had 5 VBACs and that 3 of those babies were over 8 pounds! (2 were 10 pounds!) and my last VBAC baby was born at home with only my husband there and he was 10lbs 4oz!!
My 19yo SIL is COMPLETELY indoctrinated after hearing that our nephew would have been lost if he hadn't been yanked out with forceps. She's very glad the next two babes were c-sections. Planned nice and early, with all the medications 'rest w/o baby' for mom and extra monitoring in the nursery. I was hoping my HB would have some impact. Hopefully she'll have a few years to think and hear more of my crazy hippie birth stories before her own kids come. Nurses like the one you met are NOT helping the cause.

Sometimes I feel like the whole establishment can't change until individuals change, but that no individuals I love and worry about will change until the entire establishment changes. It's so discouraging! At times, I want to just cave in and do whatever society tells me to so I can stop living on the fringe.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pinoikoi View Post
CONGRATULATIONS!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by brightonwoman View Post
A couple of things that occur to me
1--doing theraputic art (a la birthing from within) release the fears via art
2--I like the talking/visualizing through it. I think that's very productive.
3--Consider some kind of 'strengthening' thing, like a symbol or token of his new self. Maybe a necklace or bracelet with a little talisman? Or honestly, I'd probably bust out the henna and let him pick a symbol of strength or safety or something. He'll have it on him for a while as a constant reminder, and as it wears off he'll have the healthier habits in place.
The henna idea is GENIUS!!!
post #111 of 127
6/26/10 at 4:20pm
Dislocator,

Since you're in Fbks...I don't know what church you attend, but the UU church (down near the Princess Lodge) is pretty much Mothering-type families.

And the Friends (Quaker) church is supposed to be very non-spanking.



love, p
post #112 of 127
6/27/10 at 5:45am
dislocator--
Ok, just to clarify, there is a church called the "Friends Church" on 30th ave but they are not the Quakers! The Quaker meetinghouse is on Gold Hill rd.

1stimestar--
how did the ceremony go?
post #113 of 127
6/27/10 at 11:25pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by alaskaberry View Post
dislocator--

1stimestar--
how did the ceremony go?
Well I must say that it worked even better then I thought! We started off having him shower then I washed his hair and did a vinagar rinse. I had gotten some bakoor inscence for Christmas from one of my henna friends so broke that out. I only had one charcoal burner so was saving it for a special occassion. So we smudged our house, ourselves, our outhouse and our yard. Then drew pictures of him outside with bees, him with a smile on his face, happy and feeling safe. His 8 year old sister participated as well. Then we put the pictures up in the living room. We had some nice hot Jasmine tea, sweetened with the honey from the bees while we put on some nice tranquil music. We then read about bees and how they are really not interested in stinging, only protecting their territory and collecting pollen and honey and how important they were to our garden and flowers. We talked about his physical response when he saw or heard a bee or thought there were bees around. Discusses that his physical response didn't have to create the same mental reaction. Recognize physical responses for what they were, and that it was ok to feel them, increased heart and breath rate, adrenaline dump, etc. Then we did some hypnotherepy focusing on how safe he could now feel around bees, him having his own power and feeling strength, not letting his physical response create the same mental response, etc. Then we did a kanji in henna, one for safety, one for strength, then we put a stinger in between both of them which really looked like part of the kanji and fit right in.

The first day after, he came inside telling me he thought he heard a bee. I asked him how he felt about it. He said he didn't know. Then I pointed out that it was a LOT better then the absolute panic he HAD had. Later that night he came in and told me he saw a bee and wasn't even scared! And he was EXCITED about it. And I was excited about it and showed him how excited I was about it and how happy I was for him. Today it hasn't even been mentioned and seems to be a non issue, hallaluah! This is a kid who had gotten to the point he wasn't even able to go out to the outhouse and had cried until I brought the porta potty back in (for winter use only normally). So it worked well. I think the build up to it was also a factor in its success.
post #114 of 127
6/28/10 at 1:24am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pinoikoi View Post
Congratulations!!

She's beautiful
post #115 of 127
6/28/10 at 1:51pm
Please join us on Friday, July 9th for our next Alaska Birth Network meeting!

The mission of BirthNetwork National is to promote the awareness and availability of Mother-Friendly maternity care.

Our monthly meetings offer a variety of topics, a different one each month. Topics include such things as Prenatal care, Childbirth Education Classes, Breastfeeding, Prenatal Nutrition, PostPartum Care, Chiropractic, VBACs and C-sections, Midwives, etc....

Kids are welcome in this Family Friendly Environment.
Free to the Public.
post #116 of 127
6/28/10 at 5:30pm
Quote:
so I ran into a nurse that works for Dr. B here in town. She asked how my client was and I mentioned that she was looking to do a Home VBAC. Well, this ladies eyes just about bugged out of her head! She said, 'Wow! That is so risky!". I simply told her is was not as risky as many people make it out to be.
We continued to discuss VBACs and stuff. I was so very good about not sounding like a "know it all". She told me Dr. B. does not like to do VBACs which I found particularly interesting since all the Doulas in town say he is one of the few that WILL do them.
Some how we got around to talking about how big babies require a c-section and I asked her how they know a baby will be big. She said with ultrasounds. So I asked her if they do the U/S in the last trimester and she said they usually only do the one at 20 weeks but if they have twins or GD, they will have more scans. I said "so even though the research shows that ultrasounds done after 20 weeks are inaccurate they still use those to tell how big the baby is?" and she said, "Oh they are quite accurate, and we do recommend a c-section for baby's over 8 pounds"

Anyway, the look on her face was priceless when I told her I have had 5 VBACs and that 3 of those babies were over 8 pounds! (2 were 10 pounds!) and my last VBAC baby was born at home with only my husband there and he was 10lbs 4oz!!
You mean Dr. Bell? I only saw the nurse once but that is not how I would describe Dr. Bell at all. He doesn't even do cervix checks and I heard many stories of him attendig VBACs with no pressure at all. He even can do breech births from what I heard. He doesn't do ultrasounds to check for growth. He did one at the end to check babes position because he said he been fooled by palpitation before. He didn't even do any kind of size measurements though. He never mentions size and I know he wouldn't think a baby over 8 pounds was too big to deliver. His c-section rate is pretty low for an OB who backs up all the midwives and gets lots of transfers. He back up midwives so I don't think he thinks that homebirths and birth center births are risky. I feel totally comfortable with Dr Bell and he totally supported my birth plan and plans for a natural birth.

On another note I need to start looking for doulas since I am having a hosptial birth I like to have one to run interference in case of a bad nurse. I can't afford the really expensive ones. Any suggestions? Maybe on a newer one that doesn't charge as much.
post #117 of 127
6/28/10 at 6:57pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by dmpmercury View Post

On another note I need to start looking for doulas since I am having a hosptial birth I like to have one to run interference in case of a bad nurse. I can't afford the really expensive ones. Any suggestions? Maybe on a newer one that doesn't charge as much.
Where do you live?
post #118 of 127
6/28/10 at 7:06pm
Quote:
Where do you live?
Anchorage
post #119 of 127
6/28/10 at 7:28pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by dmpmercury View Post

On another note I need to start looking for doulas since I am having a hosptial birth I like to have one to run interference in case of a bad nurse. I can't afford the really expensive ones. Any suggestions? Maybe on a newer one that doesn't charge as much.
Heather Reier is a friend, and I her.
http://www.anchoragedoula.com/

You could check with the AK Birth Network for newer doulas, and/or those seeking clients for certification...
post #120 of 127
6/29/10 at 3:32am
www.anchoragedoulas.net
and also check out the alaska birth network, see siggy.

You may also like:

Pros and Cons of 11 Labor Positions
There Is Not Always a "Fix" For the Difficult Child
10 Things You Don't Need For a New Baby
Mothering › Mothering Discussion Forums › Welcome to Mothering! › Finding Your Tribe › Tribal Areas › Alaska and Hawaii › Alaskans Chat: Jump for Joy its June