I lost some mucus plus over night Thursday. Things just felt different as of Friday morning, but I wasn’t having contractions. I wanted to make sure things were prepared. It didn’t feel like the mania of cleaning from two weekends before – but I wanted labor snacks bought and things picked up etc.
I started contracting in the evening, and they felt different from the BH I had been having and the one run of what I had thought were real contractions before. DH had game that night, and I told him to go- but said I’d call if I wanted him home. I was pretty sure I was going into labor; I knew it would be his last game in a while and I was fine on my own.
I sat on my birth ball and distracted myself with some TV and surfing online while using contraction master online. After about 6pm things started to pick up and become more regular. Contractions came at 7ish minutes apart and 40-50 seconds long. I called my doula and midwife and told them both what was going on. My midwife reminded me to get as much rest as possible, which I totally intended on. Rocking on the ball made everything feel ok. Nothing was terribly intense yet, but it was “painful” like menstrual cramps. I puttered around, ate dinner, and decided to try and get some sleep. I took a hot bath, had a glass of wine hoping it would slow things down, and relaxed. Contractions had sped up to every 5 minutes, but then slowed with the bath and wine. They went down to 12 minutes, then a 20 minute stretch. I got in bed as DH came home. Lying down made the contractions really very painful. I put on my hypobabies and tried to sleep. The hypobabies didn’t seem to decrease the pain, but it must have, because I got about 2.5 hours of sleep. I woke up to a particularly long contraction and got up to use the bathroom. It was 1:30am and DH was still up. He said he just couldn’t sleep. I told him to drink some tea, do some meditation, something! But get in bed and sleep!. I got back in bed and tried to rest, he joined me and fell fast a sleep snoring. The hyponbabies wasn’t enough and lying down just wasn’t working- so after an hour I got back up and situated myself in the living room. I spent hours watching TV on the birth ball leaning forward on a stack of pillows. Sitting up made everything more than bearable, but lying down just wasn’t happening. Around 6am contractions spaced out to 20 minutes again and I set myself up on the couch to sleep. I got another 2 hours. I got up around 8-8:30 and let DH sleep until about 9:30-10am.
I sent DH on last minute errands during the day. I started making the baby’s birthday cake and generally just got through the day. I kept my midwife and doula up to date but I knew things we’re serious just yet. I took one shower, and boy did the hot water feel good!! I got one more 2ish hour stretch of sleep in-between spaced out contractions between 6-8pm. Around 9pm my doula texted and I let her know contractions were 5ish minutes apart and about a minute long. She wanted to know if she should come over, but I was still coping and wasn’t sure if it was time, but I was tired…. She assured me she could just stop by and go home if things didn’t pick up any more. So I said yes, honestly I was relived. It had been just over a day and I was feeling very tired.
She arrived and said she didn’t think she was leaving. Our dog was really starting to bother me, though he wasn’t being bad per-say. So thinking things were defiantly going to be ramping up we called in our friends to pick him up. They came and got him, and stayed too long… But I was polite and we chatted for a little while. Once they left with the pup my contractions really picked up and our doula decided she defiantly wasn’t leaving. I took another shower, spend most of my time on my birth ball and worked through the contractions. Hypobabies was now doing nothing for me, and I felt it was better to just sink into the contractions. I trusted DH and our doula to time things, and to call the midwife when contractions were 3-4 mins apart and 1 minute long. They got the kitchen set up, vacuumed the floor and set up the birth tub. I just sunk into it all.
They called the midwife at about 1:15 or 1:30, just as I was getting into the tub. She arrived at about 2am. From 2am to 6:30 things are a blur. I know I started vocalizing a low OOOOOOO through contractions almost as soon as the midwife arrived. I did my utmost to keep my throat open and loose and keep the sound deep. Pouring water over my back during contractions was important. I spent most of them flopped over the side of the tub making eye contact with DH. Eye contact was so important to me. I’d shake my head as things ramped up and he would nod and tell me I was doing great, that I could and would do this. Our midwife and doula both reassured me every time I looked to them. Abby encouraged me to rest between contractions and I was able to basically fall asleep between them. But….. I didn’t like doing it because I woke up to the contractions and the pain. Falling asleep between made me feel like it was ALL pain. I needed the mental break between. So I alternated falling asleep and staying awake between. I remember being worried that we may have called our midwife too soon, as I knew she could only stay 12 hours. She reassured me I wasn’t to worry. The contractions were doable - I just dove into them. When I felt like I couldn’t get a handle on them or that they were going up a step in intensity being told I was doing well and being reminded to roll with them helped immensely. Like being crashed into with a wave- fight it and you get pummeled, surrender and it’ll bring you back up. The hardest part- physically- was the pain in my hips. Whoever heard of hip labor??? But I had it! I felt like my hips would snap off and said that many a time. Low back rubs and hip rubs really helped the pain. The pressure needed to be just right- too hard and it made it worse but both our doula and midwife worked it out and it really helped a lot- just like pouring the hot water over my back did.
Around 6:30 I sent DH to bed. I wanted him there, but he was fading and his eyes kept closing and fading during contractions- and I NEEDED the eye contact. So I sent him to bed. I worked through and into the labor. I asked who close things were at some point while DH was sleeping and was told they were about a minute long and 1:30 apart. I asked for him at 9:30 am. I needed him, and I figured a 3 hour nap would get him through.
Soon after DH was back up and running, with a cup of coffee, contractions changed. I really lost time here. The pain and intensity really came up a notch- to the point that I thought I couldn’t do it. I started crying in between contractions and really felt like my hips were going to break off. They suggested I get out of the tub and try some thing else. I was a bit hesitant but knew I could always get back in. I leaned on DH and swayed through them. I went to the bathroom, and contracting on the toilet was AWEFUL. I tried squatting and that just made it too intense. I really felt like I was losing it. And that made me hopeful because it might be transition!! But I just couldn’t get on top of it- couldn’t surrender. I begged for a break… Begged out loud to my support team but really I was begging my body, begging God, just for a break.
Contractions spaced way out- but I really couldn’t tell they had. I got back in the tub and laid on my side. Our midwife had me eat a banana and some toast plus have some juice. Things continued to space out. I got in a 30 minute nap while Burton held my head above water. When I woke up I felt soo soo much better. She told me to trust my body- see it had listened to me and given me the break I needed. I felt brave again and decided it was time to have this baby- to meet my baby. So I said “YES” and encouraged the contractions to come back. I got back out of the pool and went for it. They didn’t come…. When they did I squatted into them and the pressure was so so intense. But that’s want I wanted. We did some with me in a supported squat- things started to really hurt- but still were not coming close together again. I couldn’t get on top of it.
I could see in our midwife's face that something had shifted. She didn’t “look” worried, but I could tell she was. I had said before just before I understood now why some women wanted VEs- just to know where they were. Now I asked for one. I wasn’t brave enough for this and I needed to know where I was. She agreed it was probably a good idea. I laid down on my bed after a contraction, knowing it would be minutes before another one (hopefully). I was fully effaced, very stretchy and 6 cm. She could easily stretch me to 8!! My waters we’re bulging and the baby’s head was slightly tipped. She was very happy and thought as soon as my waters went things would go quickly. She was glad I had asked for one, and told me afterward she had started to wonder if there was something dysfunctional going on.
DH and I got into the shower the water on my back felt great. My bravery faded… The pain was horrible and I just couldn’t get on top of it- but it wasn’t progressing and I started to be afraid things were not going to progress and I would be stuck here forever. We left the shower and I tried to squat through more, but I just couldn’t stay down and into them the whole time. I tried some more in the pool- the pool helped with the hip pain, but my legs were starting to really feel all the time I had spent in on hands and knees.
The midwife suggested that I get back out and take a walk, try to lift my legs from side to side to move the baby’s head straight and to get a new perspective. Outside I walked around and we talked about options. Recheck the VE 2 hours after the first and perhaps break my waters. Recheck in 4 hours. Do nothing and work through it. Transfer to hospital. My logical brain kicked in… and we talked it through. I knew getting in the car for 30 minutes would suck and at the hospital I would opt for the epidural over narcotics. I knew it could take a long time to get the epidural, and that all they would do- to start- was break my waters, which we could do at home. My tiredness was not enough at this point to make it worth going to the hospital. The baby was tolerating labor beautifully, showing no signs of exhaustion- there was no medical reason to go and I could have the baby in the next 2 hours here anyhow. I asked about breaking my waters here and the likelihood of that locking the baby into a tipped headed position. She doubted it and thought it would probably straighten the baby out- since it was only slightly tipped and the baby was so low already.
I decided to stay home, re check the VE 2 hours after the first one and probably break my waters at that point if they hadn’t gone already. The hip pain continued to increase, making it almost impossible for me to concentrate on the contractions and send anything low- send the energy low. At this point DH suggested we call B., my friend the acupuncturist, and our doula suggested we call my chiro, to help with the hip pain. The two of them scrambled to get in touch with our other options. It didn’t feel like we were grasping at straws to get me through- but it did feel like things were changing. The back up midwife arrived. She came not because they knew I was close, but because our primary midwife's 12 hours were up. Our midwife assured me she was staying – the back up was just reinforcements. I really would have panicked without her.
The contractions picked up in timing- but I’m not sure how close they were- I just know they were regular and seemed very close. It was nearing the 2-hour mark- and the back up really wanted to get my waters broken. She was concerned I was hitting not just tired but getting exhausted. I can’t say as I blame her. DH stepped in and put forth that B. was on his way. We should wait until he tried some needles to help with the hip pain- which was the major problem at this point for me. I agreed, especially since it would only delay the 2-hour mark by 10-15 minutes.
B. came and I was so happy to see him! The first needle went into my right hand and my right hip stopped hurting. The second needle went into my left hand and the left hip pain got better- but didn’t go away. One more needle in my left hand and the pain was almost gone. The relief was amazing. I am so happy we waited. B. stayed through a few contractions, and then left after I thanked him and he kissed my forehead. We left the needles in my hands until I really started to feel the need to put my hands back into the water and move differently. My pitch had started to change during contractions and I started feeling pushy- I think. It was only a few contractions. We took the needles out and our midwife checked me- I was 7.5cm and she wanted to know if I wanted my waters broken. I did! I wanted the baby out. She got the little glove water breaky thingie on and broke them. It took a while- she said they were really strong. I immediately went to 9cm.
The next bit is blurred in time. I started to grunt push at the peak of contractions. I though pushing was supposed to feel good but this didn’t. The hip pain slowly crept back but now my body was doing what needed to be done without me and he hip pain never quite got back to the insanity it had been before. I got to the point that the contractions all seemed to contain 3 pushes, all totally out of my control. It was powerful and overwhelming and hurt like all hell. It was not a relief- it did not feel good. I asked for drugs and really would have taken them at that point. I asked how long I had been pushing – knowing that first timers often push for hours- and I was sacred! Our midwife told me I was doing wonderfully and I told her I wasn’t. She said that I hadn’t been pushing long. I asked if she would tell me once it was over, and she laughed and told me that I would know because I’d have had the baby. I said- no, when it’s over would she actually tell me how long I had pushed for and she told me she would. At some point I was told the third midwife was coming as our midwife was almost at 16hours- at which point she was required to leave by the program. Bur she told me she was staying- they just needed two fresh midwives on and she would no longer be in the paperwork. I didn’t care who showed up at that point.
I started to really get upset- this hurt and I was sacred, and it didn’t feel like a relief- I didn’t want to push. Our midwife asked if I wanted her to check and see where the baby was so I would know. I said yes! Please! She reached in the pool and felt and was surprised to find that the baby was right there! Like literally a centimeter in, that was why it stung so much. She told me to reach down and feel my baby’s head. That was what I needed. I asked DH if he wanted to feel and he did. It was so amazing! With that though I screamed through and with the contractions, and said “I can’t” and “It hurts” and “It’s not going to fit” and “I’m going to tear in two” I went for it. I couldn’t help the words coming out of my mouth, and I was indeed scared- it was so big! Not the baby, the experience. And the hugeness of birth was just overwhelming me utterly. I really did go with it- though I protested. I didn’t have a choice though- my uterus was pushing my baby out.
The baby’s head crowned and boy that ring of fire is incredible. The head was almost out and our midwife suggested that I put my right leg up. The baby shot out once my leg was up with the next involuntary push. My baby was born!! I sat back and pulled my child into my arms. He took a moment to breathe, but breathe he did. I didn’t look for a few minutes, but indeed he was a baby boy. He was born at 5:54 pm, 6 minutes before our midwife would have to officially “leave” by the paper work. He was born 1.5 ish hours after my waters were broken, and after only 33 minutes of real pushing by the midwives account of when I was pushing through contractions, not just at the peak.
I delivered the placenta not 5 minutes later. I lost very little blood. Both the midwives were impressed and they had been prepared for some hemorrhage and possible problems getting the placenta out since my labor was so long. I got out of the water after a while and into a prepped comfy chair. We left the cord attached for a good 20-30 minutes until it had stopped pulsing at the umbilicus.
Our midwife left soon after and the back up did the newborn exam, made sure I could pee, and stitched up my 2nd degree tear.
I am so happy I stayed home. I am so thrilled with the birth of my son. It was a marathon but I did it! We had planed on no VEs, no AROM etc. Plans changed when things changed – we had our home birth and we did what needed to be done. I could not have done it without my darling husband who was amazing labor support- or without our midwife or doula. Our doula was the consummate doula, feeing everyone, pouring water over my back, giving back rubs, and encouragement throughout. Our midwife was the most amazing midwife. She knew exactly what to say and made me feel like I labored well- even though I complained and screamed and begged. She knew when to suggest we changed the plan- without making me feel bullied and she trusted me to make my own decisions. She believed in me My husband exceeded all of my expectations. He never freaked out- I never saw doubt in his eyes. He believed in me through the whole two days and thanked me for bringing our son into the world. I just cannot express my love and appreciation for him.
Our boy looked nothing like any of the names we picked. His name just is Charlie- a name we had not considered. He is beautiful and perfect with huge hands and feet. We’re figuring each other out and I’m loving my babymoon.
I’d also like to say that until I started feeling pushy I was chatty and joking in-between. When things were overwhelming I wasn’t- but when things calmed down- or I rose to the challenge of the next level of intensity I was able to think – able to talk and make little jokes. Everyone there later commented on it. I lost time- but I didn’t lose myself, which I find interesting.
wow- and if you got through that I commend you
I started contracting in the evening, and they felt different from the BH I had been having and the one run of what I had thought were real contractions before. DH had game that night, and I told him to go- but said I’d call if I wanted him home. I was pretty sure I was going into labor; I knew it would be his last game in a while and I was fine on my own.
I sat on my birth ball and distracted myself with some TV and surfing online while using contraction master online. After about 6pm things started to pick up and become more regular. Contractions came at 7ish minutes apart and 40-50 seconds long. I called my doula and midwife and told them both what was going on. My midwife reminded me to get as much rest as possible, which I totally intended on. Rocking on the ball made everything feel ok. Nothing was terribly intense yet, but it was “painful” like menstrual cramps. I puttered around, ate dinner, and decided to try and get some sleep. I took a hot bath, had a glass of wine hoping it would slow things down, and relaxed. Contractions had sped up to every 5 minutes, but then slowed with the bath and wine. They went down to 12 minutes, then a 20 minute stretch. I got in bed as DH came home. Lying down made the contractions really very painful. I put on my hypobabies and tried to sleep. The hypobabies didn’t seem to decrease the pain, but it must have, because I got about 2.5 hours of sleep. I woke up to a particularly long contraction and got up to use the bathroom. It was 1:30am and DH was still up. He said he just couldn’t sleep. I told him to drink some tea, do some meditation, something! But get in bed and sleep!. I got back in bed and tried to rest, he joined me and fell fast a sleep snoring. The hyponbabies wasn’t enough and lying down just wasn’t working- so after an hour I got back up and situated myself in the living room. I spent hours watching TV on the birth ball leaning forward on a stack of pillows. Sitting up made everything more than bearable, but lying down just wasn’t happening. Around 6am contractions spaced out to 20 minutes again and I set myself up on the couch to sleep. I got another 2 hours. I got up around 8-8:30 and let DH sleep until about 9:30-10am.
I sent DH on last minute errands during the day. I started making the baby’s birthday cake and generally just got through the day. I kept my midwife and doula up to date but I knew things we’re serious just yet. I took one shower, and boy did the hot water feel good!! I got one more 2ish hour stretch of sleep in-between spaced out contractions between 6-8pm. Around 9pm my doula texted and I let her know contractions were 5ish minutes apart and about a minute long. She wanted to know if she should come over, but I was still coping and wasn’t sure if it was time, but I was tired…. She assured me she could just stop by and go home if things didn’t pick up any more. So I said yes, honestly I was relived. It had been just over a day and I was feeling very tired.
She arrived and said she didn’t think she was leaving. Our dog was really starting to bother me, though he wasn’t being bad per-say. So thinking things were defiantly going to be ramping up we called in our friends to pick him up. They came and got him, and stayed too long… But I was polite and we chatted for a little while. Once they left with the pup my contractions really picked up and our doula decided she defiantly wasn’t leaving. I took another shower, spend most of my time on my birth ball and worked through the contractions. Hypobabies was now doing nothing for me, and I felt it was better to just sink into the contractions. I trusted DH and our doula to time things, and to call the midwife when contractions were 3-4 mins apart and 1 minute long. They got the kitchen set up, vacuumed the floor and set up the birth tub. I just sunk into it all.
They called the midwife at about 1:15 or 1:30, just as I was getting into the tub. She arrived at about 2am. From 2am to 6:30 things are a blur. I know I started vocalizing a low OOOOOOO through contractions almost as soon as the midwife arrived. I did my utmost to keep my throat open and loose and keep the sound deep. Pouring water over my back during contractions was important. I spent most of them flopped over the side of the tub making eye contact with DH. Eye contact was so important to me. I’d shake my head as things ramped up and he would nod and tell me I was doing great, that I could and would do this. Our midwife and doula both reassured me every time I looked to them. Abby encouraged me to rest between contractions and I was able to basically fall asleep between them. But….. I didn’t like doing it because I woke up to the contractions and the pain. Falling asleep between made me feel like it was ALL pain. I needed the mental break between. So I alternated falling asleep and staying awake between. I remember being worried that we may have called our midwife too soon, as I knew she could only stay 12 hours. She reassured me I wasn’t to worry. The contractions were doable - I just dove into them. When I felt like I couldn’t get a handle on them or that they were going up a step in intensity being told I was doing well and being reminded to roll with them helped immensely. Like being crashed into with a wave- fight it and you get pummeled, surrender and it’ll bring you back up. The hardest part- physically- was the pain in my hips. Whoever heard of hip labor??? But I had it! I felt like my hips would snap off and said that many a time. Low back rubs and hip rubs really helped the pain. The pressure needed to be just right- too hard and it made it worse but both our doula and midwife worked it out and it really helped a lot- just like pouring the hot water over my back did.
Around 6:30 I sent DH to bed. I wanted him there, but he was fading and his eyes kept closing and fading during contractions- and I NEEDED the eye contact. So I sent him to bed. I worked through and into the labor. I asked who close things were at some point while DH was sleeping and was told they were about a minute long and 1:30 apart. I asked for him at 9:30 am. I needed him, and I figured a 3 hour nap would get him through.
Soon after DH was back up and running, with a cup of coffee, contractions changed. I really lost time here. The pain and intensity really came up a notch- to the point that I thought I couldn’t do it. I started crying in between contractions and really felt like my hips were going to break off. They suggested I get out of the tub and try some thing else. I was a bit hesitant but knew I could always get back in. I leaned on DH and swayed through them. I went to the bathroom, and contracting on the toilet was AWEFUL. I tried squatting and that just made it too intense. I really felt like I was losing it. And that made me hopeful because it might be transition!! But I just couldn’t get on top of it- couldn’t surrender. I begged for a break… Begged out loud to my support team but really I was begging my body, begging God, just for a break.
Contractions spaced way out- but I really couldn’t tell they had. I got back in the tub and laid on my side. Our midwife had me eat a banana and some toast plus have some juice. Things continued to space out. I got in a 30 minute nap while Burton held my head above water. When I woke up I felt soo soo much better. She told me to trust my body- see it had listened to me and given me the break I needed. I felt brave again and decided it was time to have this baby- to meet my baby. So I said “YES” and encouraged the contractions to come back. I got back out of the pool and went for it. They didn’t come…. When they did I squatted into them and the pressure was so so intense. But that’s want I wanted. We did some with me in a supported squat- things started to really hurt- but still were not coming close together again. I couldn’t get on top of it.
I could see in our midwife's face that something had shifted. She didn’t “look” worried, but I could tell she was. I had said before just before I understood now why some women wanted VEs- just to know where they were. Now I asked for one. I wasn’t brave enough for this and I needed to know where I was. She agreed it was probably a good idea. I laid down on my bed after a contraction, knowing it would be minutes before another one (hopefully). I was fully effaced, very stretchy and 6 cm. She could easily stretch me to 8!! My waters we’re bulging and the baby’s head was slightly tipped. She was very happy and thought as soon as my waters went things would go quickly. She was glad I had asked for one, and told me afterward she had started to wonder if there was something dysfunctional going on.
DH and I got into the shower the water on my back felt great. My bravery faded… The pain was horrible and I just couldn’t get on top of it- but it wasn’t progressing and I started to be afraid things were not going to progress and I would be stuck here forever. We left the shower and I tried to squat through more, but I just couldn’t stay down and into them the whole time. I tried some more in the pool- the pool helped with the hip pain, but my legs were starting to really feel all the time I had spent in on hands and knees.
The midwife suggested that I get back out and take a walk, try to lift my legs from side to side to move the baby’s head straight and to get a new perspective. Outside I walked around and we talked about options. Recheck the VE 2 hours after the first and perhaps break my waters. Recheck in 4 hours. Do nothing and work through it. Transfer to hospital. My logical brain kicked in… and we talked it through. I knew getting in the car for 30 minutes would suck and at the hospital I would opt for the epidural over narcotics. I knew it could take a long time to get the epidural, and that all they would do- to start- was break my waters, which we could do at home. My tiredness was not enough at this point to make it worth going to the hospital. The baby was tolerating labor beautifully, showing no signs of exhaustion- there was no medical reason to go and I could have the baby in the next 2 hours here anyhow. I asked about breaking my waters here and the likelihood of that locking the baby into a tipped headed position. She doubted it and thought it would probably straighten the baby out- since it was only slightly tipped and the baby was so low already.
I decided to stay home, re check the VE 2 hours after the first one and probably break my waters at that point if they hadn’t gone already. The hip pain continued to increase, making it almost impossible for me to concentrate on the contractions and send anything low- send the energy low. At this point DH suggested we call B., my friend the acupuncturist, and our doula suggested we call my chiro, to help with the hip pain. The two of them scrambled to get in touch with our other options. It didn’t feel like we were grasping at straws to get me through- but it did feel like things were changing. The back up midwife arrived. She came not because they knew I was close, but because our primary midwife's 12 hours were up. Our midwife assured me she was staying – the back up was just reinforcements. I really would have panicked without her.
The contractions picked up in timing- but I’m not sure how close they were- I just know they were regular and seemed very close. It was nearing the 2-hour mark- and the back up really wanted to get my waters broken. She was concerned I was hitting not just tired but getting exhausted. I can’t say as I blame her. DH stepped in and put forth that B. was on his way. We should wait until he tried some needles to help with the hip pain- which was the major problem at this point for me. I agreed, especially since it would only delay the 2-hour mark by 10-15 minutes.
B. came and I was so happy to see him! The first needle went into my right hand and my right hip stopped hurting. The second needle went into my left hand and the left hip pain got better- but didn’t go away. One more needle in my left hand and the pain was almost gone. The relief was amazing. I am so happy we waited. B. stayed through a few contractions, and then left after I thanked him and he kissed my forehead. We left the needles in my hands until I really started to feel the need to put my hands back into the water and move differently. My pitch had started to change during contractions and I started feeling pushy- I think. It was only a few contractions. We took the needles out and our midwife checked me- I was 7.5cm and she wanted to know if I wanted my waters broken. I did! I wanted the baby out. She got the little glove water breaky thingie on and broke them. It took a while- she said they were really strong. I immediately went to 9cm.
The next bit is blurred in time. I started to grunt push at the peak of contractions. I though pushing was supposed to feel good but this didn’t. The hip pain slowly crept back but now my body was doing what needed to be done without me and he hip pain never quite got back to the insanity it had been before. I got to the point that the contractions all seemed to contain 3 pushes, all totally out of my control. It was powerful and overwhelming and hurt like all hell. It was not a relief- it did not feel good. I asked for drugs and really would have taken them at that point. I asked how long I had been pushing – knowing that first timers often push for hours- and I was sacred! Our midwife told me I was doing wonderfully and I told her I wasn’t. She said that I hadn’t been pushing long. I asked if she would tell me once it was over, and she laughed and told me that I would know because I’d have had the baby. I said- no, when it’s over would she actually tell me how long I had pushed for and she told me she would. At some point I was told the third midwife was coming as our midwife was almost at 16hours- at which point she was required to leave by the program. Bur she told me she was staying- they just needed two fresh midwives on and she would no longer be in the paperwork. I didn’t care who showed up at that point.
I started to really get upset- this hurt and I was sacred, and it didn’t feel like a relief- I didn’t want to push. Our midwife asked if I wanted her to check and see where the baby was so I would know. I said yes! Please! She reached in the pool and felt and was surprised to find that the baby was right there! Like literally a centimeter in, that was why it stung so much. She told me to reach down and feel my baby’s head. That was what I needed. I asked DH if he wanted to feel and he did. It was so amazing! With that though I screamed through and with the contractions, and said “I can’t” and “It hurts” and “It’s not going to fit” and “I’m going to tear in two” I went for it. I couldn’t help the words coming out of my mouth, and I was indeed scared- it was so big! Not the baby, the experience. And the hugeness of birth was just overwhelming me utterly. I really did go with it- though I protested. I didn’t have a choice though- my uterus was pushing my baby out.
The baby’s head crowned and boy that ring of fire is incredible. The head was almost out and our midwife suggested that I put my right leg up. The baby shot out once my leg was up with the next involuntary push. My baby was born!! I sat back and pulled my child into my arms. He took a moment to breathe, but breathe he did. I didn’t look for a few minutes, but indeed he was a baby boy. He was born at 5:54 pm, 6 minutes before our midwife would have to officially “leave” by the paper work. He was born 1.5 ish hours after my waters were broken, and after only 33 minutes of real pushing by the midwives account of when I was pushing through contractions, not just at the peak.
I delivered the placenta not 5 minutes later. I lost very little blood. Both the midwives were impressed and they had been prepared for some hemorrhage and possible problems getting the placenta out since my labor was so long. I got out of the water after a while and into a prepped comfy chair. We left the cord attached for a good 20-30 minutes until it had stopped pulsing at the umbilicus.
Our midwife left soon after and the back up did the newborn exam, made sure I could pee, and stitched up my 2nd degree tear.
I am so happy I stayed home. I am so thrilled with the birth of my son. It was a marathon but I did it! We had planed on no VEs, no AROM etc. Plans changed when things changed – we had our home birth and we did what needed to be done. I could not have done it without my darling husband who was amazing labor support- or without our midwife or doula. Our doula was the consummate doula, feeing everyone, pouring water over my back, giving back rubs, and encouragement throughout. Our midwife was the most amazing midwife. She knew exactly what to say and made me feel like I labored well- even though I complained and screamed and begged. She knew when to suggest we changed the plan- without making me feel bullied and she trusted me to make my own decisions. She believed in me My husband exceeded all of my expectations. He never freaked out- I never saw doubt in his eyes. He believed in me through the whole two days and thanked me for bringing our son into the world. I just cannot express my love and appreciation for him.
Our boy looked nothing like any of the names we picked. His name just is Charlie- a name we had not considered. He is beautiful and perfect with huge hands and feet. We’re figuring each other out and I’m loving my babymoon.
I’d also like to say that until I started feeling pushy I was chatty and joking in-between. When things were overwhelming I wasn’t- but when things calmed down- or I rose to the challenge of the next level of intensity I was able to think – able to talk and make little jokes. Everyone there later commented on it. I lost time- but I didn’t lose myself, which I find interesting.
wow- and if you got through that I commend you
