I think there is an adjustment period for every family, whether the new little one makes the 2nd child, or in my case, the 7th. Things are absolute chaos for awhile but eventually it will fall into place. Knowing that the fussing/clinging/backsliding is normal and will go away helps me, but we've got our share of chaos.
My kids range in ages from
DS#3 5yrs (special needs)
DD#3 3days as of 6/3
The three oldest arent much of a problem. They are pretty self-sufficient. I have had to get on their cases a little about helping me out more with the housework and their chores since the baby has arrived, but for the most part they are wonderful and Id hate to see how the place would look without their help.Now that homeschooling is done for the year they can get outside and play a lot more so that helps burn some energy.
My special needs 5 yr old has autism and he has been great with the baby. He is sweet to her and not rough or jealous at all. I was a little worried about that and very thankful it has not been an issue. He doesnt like listening to his older siblings when they ask him to do something, but that's better than what I thought I might have been in for. lol.
My 4yr old daughter has become a royal PITA!! she ADORES the baby and will not give her a moment's peace! GRRRR. She also asks me 10,000,000 questions 10,000,000 times a day that she already knows the answers to and has gotten bossy with her sibs and mouthy with me. I think part of it is being ' "big sissa" going to her head, and also the age. Ive had to do a lot of time outs, and sitting on the stairs with her, so Im hoping it sinks in soon.
The 16month old is the biggest challenge. He is into *everything* all. the. freakin.time! Dropping, breaking, banging, yelling etc etc.... Thank goodness we got him sleeping in his pack and play in our room while I was pregnant so he is used to that, but he protests, and very loudly, when he gets put down at night. I am fine with him tandem nursing, and he loves the baby, but doesnt understand that he tends to get overly rough, and he cant crawl on her. He also gets upset that I dont carry him much anymore. There are times I find myself getting really irritated with him, but I know it is hard for him too. He has really bonded with my oldest daughter in the past few days and goes to her a lot to get picked up, which thankfully she doesnt mind.
It is hard to get everyone fed, and everyone's laundry dealt with, but I think it will come in time. My hormones have been crashing since my milk came in today, so Ive been weepy and crabby. DH went back to work today, and MIL is down at her daughter's (she just had a baby boy, 16hrs after my dd was born!) so I am fending for myself as best as I can.
It's a learning curve everytime a new one enters the family. Trial and error and time will ave everything falling into place before long.