anyone have your dad at your birth?

[evjolin]

so i think (98%) we are going with a home birth, and recently there has been talk about the possibilty of my dad being there for some/all of the birth.

my dh, mom, doula, mw, and her assitant will all be there as well.

any experience with this? how did it go? my dad attended both of my mom's in hospital but natural births. he and i are very close. just not sure about the whole him seeing me naked thing. i am planning on wearing a sports bra and have a water birth, so it shouldnt be too graphic, lol, but who knows what will happen and what position i will really be in.

thoughts??

[Lit Chick]

My dad was at my birth - in fact, he videotaped it! And my MIL and FIL and who knows who else (at least some aunts, uncles, and cousins) watched that video.

I invited him, but also let him know that I would not be offended if he did not want to watch. He was actually really excited - he was there for my mom's natural births and was not weirded out.

I started laboring in a long drapey tank top, but around transition I ripped it off me and threw it across the room. It did not phase anyone, though my dad did keep the video rather modest (lots of face-close ups, not a lot of bosom - no shots of baby coming out - but it would have been impossibe, no enough room for my DH, MWs, and the camera!)

I say play it by ear. Establish some ground rules - if you (or he) get uncomfortable at any point, then he will be asked to leave. It's a good plan regardless. I informed everyone, including my mom, that if I said go they needed to go. Turns out everyone brought such great energy that they all stayed - it was crowded! Midwife, 3 students, doula, husband, mom, dad, and me.

Have fun, and a wonderful birth!

[Sudonk]

My dad was at my homebirth. It wasn't really planned that way. I asked my mom (who had been in the room for my previous births) to fly in prior to the birth, with Dad driving into town afterwards to meet the baby then drive Mom home. He decided to take time off and drive her down instead, so he was in town for the birth. I was a little unsure of how that would go, since he hadn't attended a birth before, but decided to let him decide what he could handle and just do my thing. He's a big boy, after all, and we are very close - just in a "wanna go fix the car?" way, more than a "wanna watch we give birth?" way.

It turned out that he did just fine. He helped out with "behind the scenes" stuff like boiling water when the tub got too cold and we had already drained the hot water heater. He did wander from the kitchen to the living room when he heard me pushing, so he was the grand arrival, but stayed very much out of the way and avoided seeing anything he didn't want to see. It was actually not a big deal at all. The birth was so fast (he came out 24 minutes after I got in the tub with only a couple minutes of pushing) that I hadn't even taken off my nightgown, even though I was in the tub! So it was as discreet as any birth can be.

Enjoy your birth! I hope it goes beautifully!

[seagull]

Yes, my dad was with me. I did have a csec, so he didn't get to watch that. I would have been fine with that even, but only dh and our doula could go in. It was great to have him at the hospital with me and both of my parents were so helpful in the few days following my son's birth.

[~Charlie's~Angel~]

My dad was at both my hospital births. He was right outside the room (didnt want to see anything) but came in the moment both boys were born. He heard everything and said it was the hardest thing he had to endure. He said listening to me in pain like that was agony. And he couldnt do anything about it. Poor guy.

[Comtessa]

My dad was at my birth! He wasn't invited (I'd thought I only wanted women around me -- well, women plus DH), but he came anyway after I'd been in labor for a few hours. I think he couldn't stand to stay away. And I was really glad he was there! It was a loooong labor, so he spent a lot of time puttering around -- reorganized the basement, cleaned our basement bathroom, mowed the lawn, mowed the neighbor's lawn -- I think he had a lot of nervous energy to burn off! The best part was, he kept Mom calmer than she was before -- she was NOT cool with our HB plans and her nervousness made everyone else a bit jumpy.

He had also (unbeknownst to me) taken all the back seats out of his van, padded the whole back with pillows and blankets, and done a practice run to the hospital -- "just in case." It was awfully nice to have all that prepared when I did have to transfer. Leave it to Dad!

Because we transferred, Dad wasn't in the room when the baby was actually born (I'd already made the nurses pretty mad by insisting on being accompanied by DH, Mom, and SIL with a camera). But he came in as soon as they let him - probably only a minute or two after my OB finished stitching up my tear, while I was nursing the baby.

[Mamabeakley]

I guess the question I would ask is, is your dad comfortable seeing you as an adult and a sexual human being, and are you comfortable with him seeing you as an adult and a sexual human being? Because birth is part of our sexual experiences - different from the act that put the baby in their, for sure, but part of the same facet of human existence.

[Lilcrunchie]

When my 2nd child was born, it was at a FSBC and both of my parents waited out in the main "living area" space w/ my almost 3yo son. They came in as soon as she was born (at my invitation).

With my 3rd, we had a homebirth. I called them part way through my 5 hour labor so they could be around if my kids needed the grandparents. We all hung out while I labored, kids were still sleeping (my parents came around 5 am). They were there for the whole thing...I was not sure I would want that, but when the time came I was fine with their presence. I was in the labor pool and my belly obscured a good bit, and they stayed out of the way but in the room. During the actual birth they were there but my back was kinda to them. Afterward there was some nakedness I'm sure my dad saw but I didn't care.

He was with my mom in the room for her natural childbirth with me in the 70s.

In any case, he always talked about what an amazing experience it was to be there when I was born. After DS2 was born, he really teared up (he's an emotional softie anyway ) and now I think he's the world's biggest homebirth advocate LOL. He tells everyone how amazing it was.

[Eyelet]

My dad was at my first birth. I thought I would be self-conscience about having him see me in that capacity, but when I got close to the actual birth I was so engrossed in laborland I didn't care who saw what.

[Kidzaplenty]

My dad was not only there, he acted as MW for three of my children. At first, I thought I would be really self concious. But when the time came, it just seemed natural.

[hapersmion]

My dad was in the house but not the room. He did peek in right after the baby was born (before the placenta, everything still messy, etc), which he wasn't supposed to do, but luckily I hadn't come back from labor-unmodesty enough yet to care.