Had our IEP meeting for Kindergarten yesterday

[SpottedFoxx]

I am so very blessed to live in the school district I live in. My son has been going to an inclusion pre-school. If you are classified, you automatically get in. Then, based on the number of available slots, siblings are admitted and then a lottery to the community. They wrote up his IEP for next year.

All the services we wanted... and more. I really wanted him to have 2 one-on-one speech therapy sessions a week. Initially they were going to have 2 small group sessions but when they realized that there wouldn't be a speech therapist in the classroom, the therapist agreed with me, added 2 one-on-ones AND a small group! We figured we'd stick with one OT a week but they upped it to two!

We toured one of the potential kindergartens. OMG I'm so excited for my son! What a wonderful place to learn and grow!

[BookGoddess]

How wonderful! It's refreshing to read about someone having a wonderful IEP offer of services. Sounds like your son is in a very good placement.

[SpottedFoxx]

**update**

It's amazing how different two schools can be. We were assigned a school (not the one we originally saw) and the "teacher set up a meet and greet for yesterday morning". Oh, we were so excited! I took time off of work and off we went....

The school had no idea we were supposed to be there.

Our case worker came down to get us, introduced herself and brought us and the other 2 families up to the classroom.

We walk into the classroom - it's 2nd and 3rd graders.

3 adults in the room, not one acknowledged us. Had no idea who the teacher was and who the aids were.

Figure out the teacher when someone calls her name.

DS walked over to see what the teacher was doing and she just said "little boy, go back to your parents".

All parents are getting angry - case worker takes us out of the classroom to her office. One of the parents (who just so happened to be a teacher) hung back for a moment to hear "I had no idea I was getting kindergartners, I am NOT happy about this!"

Went to the case worker's office. I said that I felt like she had no idea we were supposed to be there (trying to give benefit of the doubt - maybe she didn't know who we were). Case worker told us "oh no, she knew who you were".

I have no idea who this woman is, who her team is, I have no sense of whether or not she will work well with my son.

I am livid.

I have the principal of my son's pre-school (public special needs school) contacting both the principal of the school we went to as well as the school district liaison for special needs programming.

I was told the other programs are full. There is going to be something earth shattering that will need to happen if I am going to allow my son to go to that school.

Thank Gd my best friend is a child advocate.

[BookGoddess]

Wow! That's awful and so unprofessional. I'm mad for you.

[cdahlgrd]

Wow. I am so sorry. How difficult to go from a great IEP meeting to a horrid tour. Keep fighting for your child! Hopefully you will get it worked out quickly.

[SpottedFoxx]

thank you both!

I spoke with the principal of my son's school (who I adore). He has involved both the principal of the school we visited as well as the school district liaison. I basically told him that I don't see how there can be damage control at this point. That I don't want my son to be in the classroom. He said he would relay that information to the both the principal and the liaison. I hope to hear something back today.

[khaoskat]

Start keeping a journal with names, dates, times, conversation topics, etc.

Good luck.

[BookGoddess]

I agree - you should start noting dates, times, things said. You may need that information later. I'm sorry this is happening. I don't think I would feel comfortable with my child in that classroom either. If that's how the teacher behaves when you're around, I can't imagine what she's like when you're gone.

[ericswifey27]

Grrr. I feel your frustration. They tried to do that to us too, all of sudden talking about a brand new school that had nothing to do with what J needed. What? Where did that come from???

Is the name of the first school written in the IEP? Or you must have atleast had extensive conversations with IEP team members about the first school (write them down) Any emails?

I could just feel your excitement bursting through the first post, and then, the let down

Don't give up on this, it sucks you have to spend your energy on things like the school district fulfilling their promises, huh?

[ericswifey27]

Originally Posted by SpottedFoxx

Thank Gd my best friend is a child advocate.

Ooh missed that...

Sometimes a special needs mom has extra requirements

I can just see it now:

Best Friend Wanted:

Honest
Funny
Dependable
CHILD ADVOCATE

Pull out all that advice from her, now's the time. Hold another meeting and have her attend, to let them know you are serious about getting a placement at the original school?

Best of luck!

Amy

[SpottedFoxx]

I am truly blessed to have many amazing friends all of which adore my son and are lined up to fight for him

I got a call yesterday from the teacher. She was incredibly apologetic. She said that there was some kind of communication error and we were supposed to be there around 9:30 a.m. when her kids would be out of the room. She intended to talk to us and then have us observe. She said that her kids are very severely ADHD and once they are on task, she can't deviate.

I explained that I am ADHD, my husband is ADHD and my son is possibly ADHD. I get ADHD and in the real world (which is what we are preparing our children for) that just doesn't wash. If your boss walks up to your desk and you are in the middle of a project, you need to stop, address her/him and get back on task. She had no response to that.

I told her flat out that I was not comfortable with my son being in her classroom. She was very sorry, begged me to reconsider. Feels that she'd be a great teacher for him, asked me to speak with other parents of her former kindergarten students.

I did call the parent back who had called me to give her a reference. She of course sang her praises. I asked how her teaching style was and she said it was very regimented. While my son needs structure, he also needs flexibility.

I'm so lost and I have no idea what to do. Part of me wants to give her a chance but another part is telling to go with my first impression.

Experienced parents... HELP!

[BookGoddess]

Hmmm..what she's saying strikes me as odd.

Was she in the middle of teaching or circle time or some other activity when the parents showed up?

But even so, couldn't she have smiled and greeted the visitors, especially your son? Is that so hard to do? Her students are so severely ADHD that *she* lacks manners?

I'm usually a go with your gut, trust your intuition kind of person, but if you feel her structured classroom might be good for your child then why not do a trial run there. You could always ask for another classroom, right? Are there are other teachers whose classroom your son could go to if things don't work out?


The first time I met the teacher who is now my DD's preschool teacher, she showed me around the classrooom, she showed the various activity centers and explained what the teaching theme for that week was (I think it was weather). She talked about her background, teaching style, and she let me ask all sorts of questions. I felt instantly at ease with her. She is warm and friendly.

Another time, I visited a Head Start classroom. No one really acknowledged me, but I was there when they were having circle time so both teachers and their aides were busy. I understood that. However, they didn't even look at me or give any notice that I was there which seemed weird to me. And from watching the way these teachers interacted with the students, I didn't get the warm fuzzy feeling I got with the teacher my DD has now. Did I go at a bad time or did I catch them on a bad day? Who knows. Maybe. I was left with the impression those teachers wouldn't go out of their way to help my DD and so I opted to send DD to the preschool she attends now.

[SpottedFoxx]

I'm usually a go with your gut, trust your intuition kind of person, but if you feel her structured classroom might be good for your child then why not do a trial run there. You could always ask for another classroom, right? Are there are other teachers whose classroom your son could go to if things don't work out?

Structure yes, rigidity no. She seems very rigid and that just wont' work with my son.

[khaoskat]

I am saying that while structure and schedules are great (as we use it with DS2 as well and he is not diagnosed with anything, he cannot tolerate change well)...

There also needs to be flexability, as they will need it later in life. If you start working on it while in school, at home, etc..at an early age, then you will have an easier time later in life when things are not always 100% structured or rigid...the child while not the best at accepting change, will have a bit of an easier time adapting and making do with it.

[ericswifey27]

oh I agree with you Mama.

IMO, structure and rigidity are NOT the same!

Structure is scheduling.
Rigidity is not being able to be flexible when it will better serve your child's needs.

I hope all goes well for you

[SpottedFoxx]

Thanks everyone. His social worker and principal of his current school are fighting for us. I'm hoping to hear from the district liaison today. ~fingers crossed~

[SpottedFoxx]

I did it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just go the call from DS's social worker - they moved him to the other school!!!!!!!!!!!!

:twothumb s

DH is in a meeting outside the office and I can't get through to him grrrr. I am sitting at my desk at work crying!

[BookGoddess]

Great!

What's the other school like?

[SpottedFoxx]

Oh BookGoddess, it was spectacular!

We walked in and the teacher introduced herself, her aids and even her students. You could see in their faces they loved the fact that they were important people in that room so they had to be individually introduced.

The children were at 3 tables. Two tables of 3 children each were reading books and one table of 2 children were photo reading. There were definitely children in the classroom who's behavior was similar to my son's and she was able to manage their outbursts and wanderings gently and effectively.

She explained what the different parts of the room represented and showed us how the amplification system (or sound field system) works.

She asked us to observe and to feel free to ask questions.

Each child had their own chair and each chair had it's own modification for each child.

I saw lots of praise and a group of very proud children.

[BookGoddess]

Oh that sounds lovely and so perfect for your son. It reminds me of the preschool DD attended, and hopefully will attend this coming school year too. You know when you get a good placement it is such a relief. One already has so much anxiety being the parent of a SN child that not having to worry about the teacher is such a blessing. I'm glad things worked out.