or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Parenting Multiples › Positive twin stories?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Positive twin stories?

post #1 of 41
Thread Starter 
Ok, after reading here on this forum and having others even many who don't have twins give their unsolicited advice, and opinions.

Any positive twin stories out there? As a mom expecting a set its getting very discouraging hearing all the negative all the time... so I want some positive for a change!
post #2 of 41
Having twins is very positive, it's such a wonderful blessing. I love that my girls have each other, and that we have them. It's always a party!

What part is worrying you most - pregnancy / delivery? Newborns? Dare I say toddlers and beyond?

Sure, there are going to be some added challenges. There's a good and a bad side to everything. But for me, having twins is a crash course in parenting. As a first timer, I skipped worrying about all the little silly things that singleton parents do. Survival makes DH and I more laid back. The house is a wreck, and we've all eaten nothing but crackers, and I haven't brushed my hair in days. OK. Everyone's happy.

What helped me was stacking the deck in my favor as much as possible. There's going to be a lot you can't control. But keep those babes in as long as possible. Really resist or scrutinize any call to take them early. Fight for a vaginal birth. Assume you'll breastfeed and don't let anyone get in the way of that. Be bullheaded. These are the things that helped us get off to a good start.

Also, FWIW, I wrapped my crib mattresses with a gas-impermeable cover which I believe prevents SIDS. With that on, my girls tummy slept from day one. This helped us too.

After a year, my mom asked me why everyone told us this would be so hard. I told her that we had been lucky to get off to a great start, and everything followed from there.

Which is not to say everything has to be perfect, but you can make life easier on yourself with good care.

There's a lot of positive stories here, but this blog post was a favorite of mine too when I heard what you're hearing:

http://www.lookydaddy.com/weblog/200..._that_mos.html

Good luck. You'll need a thick skin, but being a twin mom can be a joy!
post #3 of 41
I love, love, love having twins. I'd have another set in a heartbeat. I wouldn't have it any other way.
post #4 of 41
My twins are very twin-y. They are ALWAYS together -- I have to physically separate them, even when they're arguing with each other. They always want to be together. They love each other tremendously -- I think their bond with each other is stronger than their bond to me or dh. They are always on the same team, always cheering each other on, always there for each other. It's really beautiful to watch.

The first couple years were hard, but you just get through it.
post #5 of 41
It is a crazy, wonderful, terrifying experience! I wouldn't trade it for the world.

We can probably all share stories of the wonderful things that come with twins. Is there something in particular you is worried about?
post #6 of 41
I have been a mom of twins for about 2.5 weeks, so I can only add a little, but I'll add our positives anyway

My pregnancy was uneventful, no health problems, easier than I thought it would be. I carried to 38 weeks and had the VBAC I wanted so badly. My babies are breastfed and have never had anything else - bfing twin newborns is a lot of work, but it is way better than I thought. I am finding it neat to have two little people with two different personalities already - it reminds me that so much of who they are is NOT within my control. My DH and i are working well as a team so far and that feels really good. I have had WAY more offers of help this time around than with my singleton . . . yes, I need it more, but I have been amazed at how people have been so willing to help us. I know things will get tougher as they get older but I feel like these babies are breaking us in slowly and it will all be fine. There certainly have been rough patches already (eg/ all 3 of us have thrush, yuck!), but all in all it has been easier than I thought it would be so far.

Does that help any?

Great advice in the previous posts about doing whatever you can to stack the odds in your favour. I know that having full term babies well over 7lbs and a vaginal birth (even with a 4th degree tear) has made life so much easier for us than it would have been with teenier babies.
post #7 of 41
Twins are challenging, but great too. My boys were born at 40 weeks, weighing 7lbs 12oz and 7lbs 10oz. No NICU time. The only time they were away from me in the hospital was when they went to get their hearing tested. I did have a c-section because I developed pre-e (and the boys wanted to stay longer), but my pregnancy was downright enjoyable.

Ditto on the special mattress cover and putting them down on their bellies if they like it better. Sleep is important. Get some!

Now that they're 6-months-old, we can't imagine if we'd only had one. With two right off the bat, there's no only child obsession (I would have been obsessed, if I could have been). My husband never feels left out. Both grandmas have a baby to cuddle. Everyone wants to help. Any screwing up effect we have on our children is spread more evenly than if there'd been one to concentrate on for a few years first. Our kids get a lot more socialization because they attract attention, this has encouraged them to be more outgoing, and we always hear comments about how happy they are. Babies making each other laugh--so much fun!

Don't get me wrong, it's hard. But I would probably think one baby was hard too if that's what I'd had. The scariest day was when my mom and husband went back to work and I was on my own. It took a few days for me to figure out systems to replace the extra hands, but now we've got it down for the most part. I know that there are lots of challenges ahead, but I'm looking forward to watching these two beautiful babies grow into incredible people. Can you tell I'm biased?
post #8 of 41
turnquia, I can so relate. when we announced we were pregnant with our second child (they would be 19 months apart), EVERYONE had something negative to offer me, even my mother we got "you'll be so busy!", "oh my goodness!!" blah blah blah.... My husband's grandmother, however, had a first reaction of gushing with glee - "My brother and I were 18 months apart and we were the best of friends!!!" And she went on about their adventures. I remember feeling physically relieved. I will never forget how wonderful that was.

ANYWAYS, on the twins note - and I am being totally honest here - not trying to make you feel good just for the sake of it, but TWINS ARE HILARIOUS! My husband and I were just talking last night exchanging stories of their silliness and amazing bond with one another. It amazes me how well they get along and how great they work together as a team.

They love each other in the sweetest ways, that I feel blessed to be able to even observe them: rubbing and holding hands while nursing, picking one another up when one falls, patting each other on the head, telling the other, "i love you!". They always have each other's back.

If it means anything, we had a rough first year with our twins, and we are expecting and my husband is not freaking out about the possibility of another set. I think that speaks volumes!

There will be plenty of wonderful moments - your own that those little ones create for your family, for you to enjoy.
post #9 of 41
You know, when I was carrying my twins I heard the most awful stories. Not nessessarily from twin moms, but from people who 'know someone who has twins and ooh boy, look out, 'cause they did this, that and the other horrible thing....'
I heard 'uh oh! double trouble!' and 'I feel sorry for you', or 'my aunt had twins and one of them died because the other twin stole it's food in utero' and, 'they'll end up in NICU, all twins end up there' and 'my friend had twins and it was sheer hell for her, they both had colic...'
and 'Iwouldn't want to be you!' and 'say goodbye to sleep!' and 'breastfeed?? you can't breastfeed twins! You'll never have enough milk ' and 'you will never lose all that wieght! (from a random guy in a coffeeshop!!)

Anyway, I'm sure you've heard all, most or more of these things. But really, it's not bad. In fact I had an easier time with my twins, sleepwise, than I did with my singletons. I mean what baby wouldn't sleep nestled up beside her twin brother? ( He was 6lbs.7ozs at birth, she was 5lb even, so when they slept, they were on their sides with his arm draped over her, hugging her - they slept like that for the next four months!)

As for nursing them, it just takes practice, but once you get the hang of the tandem nursing it's like old hat! Heck, after a few weeks I could walk around the house, following my 18 month old with both babes latched on, ( My MIL was absolutely HORRIFIED, lol!) AND I mastered the tv remote with my big toe!

It's funny when they start to hold their heads up, you know, when you can finally lay them on their bellies on the floor without thier faces smooshing into the blanket? Well if you put them face to face it's hysterical! They laugh at each other!

Their teacher just told me how, at story sharing time, DD will start a story, then run out of time, and like 9 or 10 kids later DS gets his turn and picks up exactly where DD left off.

Oh and here's another nifty twin thing. They can be moviestars! Seriously. My twins, despite being boy and girl landed a role in a movie at four months. They played the role of a boy baby. Hee hee, the wardrobe lady was stunned when, discovering that the ball cap wouldn't fit DD I suggested she double sided tape it to DD's head, after all, she WAS bald.
post #10 of 41
My twins are #5 and #6, so it was with lots of nervousness we welcomed them home. Having other kids makes it hard to find time for everyone. But there are lots of positives. My DH has said a few times that he thinks people are just waiting to hear the "how terrible it is to have twins" stories, because they can't imagine how we do it. Then they are shocked when we say it's not so bad.

I agree - the twins are hilarious. Ours are 15 months - and watching them chase each other around the house is funny. I've thought many times with the twins - when I had only one baby, how was that singleton not bored??

I was blessed with a good pregnancy and 38 weekers, so that made life to start much easier. We saw a lactation consultant to get the smaller twin to gain a bit, and nursing is still going well. One other plus that was so heartwarming is all the help we got. I had meals delivered 3 times a week for over a month. And...the older kids always had a baby to hold!

Hope everything goes well for you!
post #11 of 41
Thread Starter 
Thank you!

I did't want to hear anything in particular... just looking for anything positive. About the pregnancy, and once they are here. All we get is negative comments and I'm sure it won't be easy but sheesh making it sound like life is over is no fun either.
post #12 of 41
I love having twins. I think people who make negative comments are either ignorant or jealous.....or both.
post #13 of 41
Congratulations!

Oh yes, we got tons of negative stories too, and it took a lot of effort to get excited about becoming parents of twins. As if it were a disease (leading to a life sentence) to be pregnant with twins! They were premature, and they did spend time in the NICU, but that was not the end of the world. It was a tough start to be sure, but now it's only a little while later, and they are doing so so well! Many mothers do carry twins to full term, and you very well may too. But if you don't, it will be okay!!!

Mine are only 2.5 months now, but I can't imagine our family any other way. They are both starting smile a lot now. Toothless grins x 2 is the most precious thing!!! And I love nursing twins! They often hold hands while nursing, and when they both look up at me at once, oh my .
post #14 of 41
It's incredibly hard, but still a ton easier than I expected. It's totally worth every crying, exhausted moment. Life has changed, but with your sense of humor, you can see the precious joy and love that the little ones bring to your life. Good luck!
post #15 of 41
My boys aren't quite four months yet but every single day my DH and I ask ourselves why we let people psyche us out. This is far easier than we ever thought it would be- tough, sure, but not the nightmare it was made out to be by friends, family, and online.

I think what gena2 said about stacking the deck in your favor is really helpful advice. The twins were #3 & 4 for me, so I already knew about natural birth, and I pushed for the most hands-off pregnancy. I carried my twins for 37 weeks with the majority of those being comfortable and happy weeks (I got PUPPP at 33 weeks, no fun, but I could have gotten that with a singleton too). And, I set my mind to nursing. I'm happy to say that my little boys are EBF and will be for at least a couple more months when we'll start solids.

It is what you make it. My house is full (my older kids are 4 & 2) and busy. But it's clean! We have fun. And while I sometimes feel I don't have enough time for everyone it is all working out just fine. We even make it out to dinner, playdates, parks, and a whole host of other places- just me and the four kids!

As of now I don't have anything negative to say about this at all. Is it challenging at times, absolutely, but I'm relatively well-rested, in a clean house, with happy kids. I'd say we're doing well!
post #16 of 41
When I was pg with mine, I felt like this board was a little negative too but after they came, I realized it's one of the only places to vent a little. No one without twins gets it and no one gets the uniqueness of AP unless they do it. Most people just suggest I toss them into a crib to CIO when I inform them that they don't STTN but here, the mamas get it. Twins are amazing, hard but amazing. I certainly miss the special bond that you develope when you only have one baby at a time but I have had to let that go and enjoy the very different bonds I have with each twin. Mine are 7 months old and the time has flown by. We have had mostly a positive experience but with any baby, there are alot of negatives IMO. Who wants to be up all night or try to console two crying babies at once? It's just part of the job and the rewards are amazing. I have been very lucky in that I have only had one person say anything negative to me about having twins, most people just say how cute they are or say that they always wanted twins. I would be highly irritated and hurt if I were hearing negatives, these are people, not burdons.

I did feel like life was over when I found I was pg with twins, we did not want this and were not happy. I am now so sad that I ever had those feelings. Life as I knew it is over but I will take this one over that one any day...well most days anyway.

Enjoy your pg and don't worry about what it will be like because it won't make it any different. Just know that you are in for a wonderful but trying time. Mine have definitely made me a better mother.

Dena
post #17 of 41
There is so much I could say. So many stories I could share. So many positive thoughts to send your way. But it all comes down to this...

My life has been blessed in more ways then I can count by being the mom of twins. Being a part of this special club is truly a gift from God that I thank Him for daily! Savor it all....your pregnancy, your newborns, your up's, your down's...don't let a moment pass you by. Soak it all in.

And tell the negative people that they should just stop hating.
post #18 of 41
I have found my twins to be ABSOLUTELY delightful! I often joke that two two year olds is going to kill me, and we have our share of twinsanity, but honestly, they are TOO STINKIN CUTE most of the time. Even double tantrums are funnier than just one kid screaming because it's just so absurd to see two little humans kicking on the floor over something dumb like "she looked at my sucker funny". I have adored almost every second, even the harder ones. I did NOT love the sleep deprivation but can now say with certainty it is something you can eventually survive, if only the worse for wear.

It really is so fun to watch these two learn to talk together. They babble at each other, apparently in understanding, and then giggle and laugh together. They are SO excited to see each other when they wake up from naps. Claire yesterday can barging into my room where she heard Ben was awake yelling "BRUDDA! HI!!!" and he saw her, his eyes lit up and he said "HIHIHI!" It just melted me into a puddle of Mommy goo on the floor.
post #19 of 41
I have to say- the first 2 months were the only scary part so far- but only because of the exhaustion. Honestly- even now (they are almost 5 months) I am looking back on those late nights with fondness, just cuddling babies all the time. Now- it is SO MUCH FUN. We're having a blast together. Just get lots of help and rest and you will settle in. I felt very hopeless at the beginning, and a positive attitude goes a long way. Just try to stay positive and realize that things will get better and better. Good Luck!
post #20 of 41
My boys will be 3 (where the heck did THAT time go!!!???) in two months. I have never had a more rewarding or creative job. These were our firsts, so I really had nothing to compare it to. I cried every day for the first three months and am convinced that I got DH fired from that job 'cause I kept calling him to come home and help. It was really overwhelming. But it was also amazing. They were EBF, which was astounding to anyone I came into contact with, we AP most of the time and their bond is amazing. DH is a twin, so he takes it for granted, but it gets me everytime. They always know where the other is even if they are not playing together, they spoke twin speak to each other before they started English and when talking to me I had to remind them to use words that I knew and understood. Their conversations are hillarious, especially when one is telling the other one off like a parent. They chase each other around the house and have been for a long time, first crawling then running. Now that I have a singleton (poor dear), I really don't find that my bond with her is any stronger or diminished than the one that I have with the boys, it's the same for all of them. DH and I were true partners and we grew stronger because of it.

We just took the kids to a family function this weekend and everyone commented on how deliciously cute they were, and the only response I could think of "yes they are, I am really blessed."
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Parenting Multiples
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Parenting Multiples › Positive twin stories?