or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Parenting Multiples › Positive twin stories?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Positive twin stories? - Page 2

post #21 of 41
It has been a lot of work. It has been emotionally and physically exhausting, at times and during certain phases. But every single second of it has been more worth it than I could ever express in words.
post #22 of 41
I hate having twins. I never wanted 4 kids. I struggle/d with PPD this go around. That said, I'm a glass-half-empty-kinda-gal and I can still come up with some pros to having twins. Here are the good things about twins.....

My kids are amazing. *They play together in such creative and imaginative ways. *They love each other so much more strongly than the love I see between my other children. *They are "easier" than my other kids because they have each other. (also harder some times, but I'm a pessimist by nature!! ) *They look out for each other. *They are so comfortable with one another that they have great social skills with other kids.

*They are so different that it is easier to see them for who they are than it was with my singletons. (ie, when my singletons were 2 I figured they were just normal 3 year olds. There is no such thing as normal! Every 2 year old is different and having twins has made me appreciate that so much more.)

*Singleton moms admire twin moms. They do, rightfully so or not, so take the respect you automatically get! Chances are you really deserve it.

*If you were lucky and went full term, had big babies and a non-hospital (or non medicated, or non invasive) birth you get extra bragging rights with your singleton mom friends.

*It is easier to find childcare/support if you have twins. I feel safer leaving my two together at a class, or program, or even a high school babysitter, since I know they have each other. Doesn't work when they are little and non-verbal, but once they are older it does.


This has been a great exercise for me! I need to come back daily and add to it just to remind my little pessimistic self to appreciate all I have! Thanks!
post #23 of 41
to be 100% honest, the first 6 months were just kind of insane. a blur, and generally... yikes. but that's probably because i had literally no help, and had no clue how to take care of a baby or to breastfeed....

that being said, i figured it out. now, at 16mos, i still have no help... and i'm totally fine. the two newborns thing was really hardcore, but the two toddlers thing is REALLY fun! i've actually enjoyed being mom 24/7 since they were about 1. they hang out and play, they do their own thing a little bit, they're just lots and lots of fun. nights are getting much better. i haul them everywhere i go and it's fine.

re: prematurity, you never know what's going to be. mine came @ 32wks after months of bedrest for a craptastic cervix. you bake them as long as you can and do what you need to do if they come early. the same can happen with a singleton. most of the babies that came preemie in the nicu were singletons.

imo, once they're eating mostly solids and are able to really hang out and play it gets pretty cool..... before that it probably wouldn't have been so bad for me if i actually knew what i was doing! it's just time-intensive... newborns x2. but they're not newborns forever.
post #24 of 41
I just wanted to say THANK YOU for this thread. As a pregnant momma of twins, it is AWESOME to read about the positives. I plan on re-reading this often, whenever I need a boost.
post #25 of 41
I love having twins. The whole first year was an exhausted blur but it got easier every 3 months or so. Now my kids are 3 y.o. and they are definitely easier than a singleton -- they don't need mommy to entertain them (I see this in my friends with one child). Also they never cry when going to a new preschool or staying with a new sitter, because they always have the security of having their twin with them.

I also love getting double the props for anything and everything. People are always impressed that you didn't just BF one, you BF'd two, you didn't cloth diaper one, you cloth diapered two, etc. (as well they should be!).
post #26 of 41
I feel like I won the lottery, to be honest. I have two babies! I am overwhelmed with joy when I see them hold hands while nursing; I love that they sleep (really well and better than my singleton) together; I love watching them smile at one another... I think I'm super super lucky. My house is clean, I'm happy with my husband, my 2.5 year old is mostly gentle with his sisters... my life is good. Being pregnant was absolutely the hardest part of having twins thus far - I think because I am a really physical person and was so bummed at the limitations and how crummy I felt. However; having two, healthy, big and full-term babies made every thing worth it. Hang in there and know that you have a lot of fun times coming!
post #27 of 41
Twins are the best!!! Welcome to the club.
post #28 of 41
Quote:
Originally Posted by Llyra View Post
It has been a lot of work. It has been emotionally and physically exhausting, at times and during certain phases. But every single second of it has been more worth it than I could ever express in words.


We're in the toddler stage now which can be pretty intense. I am spending a lot of time being a referee. But....the hugs they give each other, the compassion they have for each other when one is upset, the hand holding . All that helps the keep the crazy at bay. And like a previous poster said, even the crazy times can be funny. Seriously, when you have two toddlers screaming and tantruming because one is singing and the other one doesn't want to listen it's almost like you rise above it and just deal because it seems so ridiculous. You can't even get upset because you're so busy just watching the show and thinking "is this really happening?"
post #29 of 41
Quote:
Originally Posted by SunshineH View Post
My twins are #5 and #6, so it was with lots of nervousness we welcomed them home. Having other kids makes it hard to find time for everyone. But there are lots of positives. My DH has said a few times that he thinks people are just waiting to hear the "how terrible it is to have twins" stories, because they can't imagine how we do it. Then they are shocked when we say it's not so bad.


I was blessed with a good pregnancy and 38 weekers, so that made life to start much easier. We saw a lactation consultant to get the smaller twin to gain a bit, and nursing is still going well.

Hope everything goes well for you!
Ours were 4 and 5, so it was also with nervousness we welcomed them home! And we amaze our friends and family with how wonderful our lives are with them in it, and how we do it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by herdingkittens View Post
ANYWAYS, on the twins note - and I am being totally honest here - not trying to make you feel good just for the sake of it, but TWINS ARE HILARIOUS! My husband and I were just talking last night exchanging stories of their silliness and amazing bond with one another. It amazes me how well they get along and how great they work together as a team.

There will be plenty of wonderful moments - your own that those little ones create for your family, for you to enjoy.
I totally agree and ours are only 9mths. My husband and I were commenting las night how they are ALWAYS together - no matter where one goes, within 2minutes the other is with him. No matter which one goes first, the other follows. They comfort each other at night, they comfort each other during the day. They also beat the kaka out of each other, but that is all in the learning of 'gentle'.



I have three singletons and one set of twins. They have ALL come with their own challenges - some harder than others. My first was harder than my twins put together with her high spirited insaneness as an infant. My 2nd had reflux that kept me up more at night than the twins. My 3rd was born so close to my first two that I three under three and was torn in three different directions - totally forgetting myself. Now I have the twins and they have their own challenges also - one cries and wakes the other etc.


BUT - honestly? They are all my children and I would love them whether they came one, two or three at a time....
post #30 of 41
Quote:
Originally Posted by Molliejo View Post
I love having twins. I think people who make negative comments are either ignorant or jealous.....or both.
Or they may have had genuinely painful experiences. I had some pretty hard experiences, and had very mixed feelings for a few years due to some very traumatic experiences. I'm not ignorant. And since I'm a mother of twins, you could hardly call me jealous, though I guess in a sense I did feel sad that I did not get the wonderful, relatively stress free pregnancy and birth that so many other mothers of twins that I knew had.

OP, I think you have to take any comment with a grain of salt. If you can, try to have a little compassion for the folks that say annoying things (believe it or not, there will likely be times that the Positive Peggies who like to chirrup "ooOOOOoooOOOOooo I always wanted twins, isn't it always so much FUN, zOMG I'm going to have my kids 9 months apart so they'll be LIKE TWINs, squeeeeee!" are going to annoy the snot out of you. Especially if they're twittering at you while gazing at your babies while you are struggling to get the damn stroller through the doorway with no assistance on 30 minutes of sleep and your boobs are leaking through your double nursing pads and this is the 17th time that someone has stopped you on your way into the grocery store and you really wanted to be home half an hour ago. )

Since having twins, I've met all kinds of people with twin connections. I have uncomfortably listened to elderly women speak with still-fresh pain over their twins that died at birth before we could save preemies. Or people who learned that they had a twin that died in utereo or at birth and are still processing. (or had other family connections) I've talked to other moms who lost twins. I will admit that most of the time I probably would have rather NOT had shared that moment with a stranger, esp. in the early days when I was kind of on the edge myself. OTOH, I've also met a ton of people who ARE twins, or had twins, and have told me hilarious stories about the trouble they got up to. And had plenty of older twin parents who have said, "Don't worry, it'll all be fine!" just when I needed to hear it.

My boys turned seven this past Sunday. They are both great joys in my life, and have brought happiness and a lot of good into the world even at their young ages. I am proud of them! I've been having more and more fun over the years, which made the very difficult (for us) beginning months/final months of pregnancy very much worth it.
post #31 of 41
Thread Starter 
I understand twins are not all sugar coated... I"m just tired of hearing everything negative and mostly by those who don't have twins. I know many come here to vent but as someone execting twins its seriously freaky to almost never hear or read a positive story. About the only positive comments we get are "I'm so jealous I always wanted twins".

My DS who is 2 was a horrid baby. Seriously cried for about 12-18 hours a day (no joke) for a YEAR. Nothing we did helped this kid and he had several visits to the ER by the ped to run tests to make sure he didn't have something going on. If I end up with two like that I'm not sure we'll survive... we barely made it with him. There was numerous occasions the thought of giving him away sounded amazing. And had been seriusly contemplated.

So for now, for my pregnancy I want to hear positive. I don't need to hear negative, this is our last pregnacy and I want to enjoy the heck out of it. Not spend time fretting over how hard and shitty it will be. Because I already know what could be...
post #32 of 41
I understand, Turnquia. Which is why IRL and here, I generally only share my experience when someone asks for honest opinions.

However, because I have had people make similar thoughtless comments to my face, I really couldn't not respond to "anyone who says negative things is ignorant or jealous."
post #33 of 41
I love having twins. It was hard and there continue to be unique-to-twins issues we encounter. But overall, it's really great! My girls are best friends and they play together all day long using their imaginations. They work stuff out when they have disagreements. THey genuinely love each other. At this point, there is nothing negative about having twins for us. They're happy, we're happy.
post #34 of 41
I had a great twin pregnancy. The first two years were intense with the nonstop nursing and limited sleep. FTR-we had NO help. If possible, take people up on their offers of help-prepared meals are great. Or someone who would just love to sit and hold a baby for an hour or so. That was really the hardest part-knowing that I couldn't meet both of their needs at the same time, sometimes. The book Mothering Multiples was a great help and one of the only books at the time that actually had attachment parenting advice for parents of multiples.
After 2 years old my girls played and loved each other and are really a total and complete joy. They are best friends and really special people. Even now at almost 11 years old, they almost never argue with each other. They are monozygotic, but different in personality. And still somewhat similar-if that makes sense.
When they attended school (we unschool now) we kept them in the same class without any apologies. It was what they wanted and I felt that forcing them to be apart would add to the trauma of school. The teacher (who did not feel this was a good idea) eventually told me that she was surprised that the girls didn't choose each other for group activities and made their own friends. She admitted that it had worked out for them.
I feel very fortunate to be their mother and wouldn't change anything. I have met lots of other grown twins and they all say that they love being a twin. I am so happy that my daughters have each other.
Congratulations!
post #35 of 41
Quote:
Originally Posted by turnquia View Post
My DS who is 2 was a horrid baby. Seriously cried for about 12-18 hours a day (no joke) for a YEAR. Nothing we did helped this kid and he had several visits to the ER by the ped to run tests to make sure he didn't have something going on. If I end up with two like that I'm not sure we'll survive... we barely made it with him. There was numerous occasions the thought of giving him away sounded amazing. And had been seriusly contemplated.
I just want to say that with this experience, it will make the twins even easier. DD1 was a handful for us. Friends still remember how much crying she did, with everyone, all the time. Even now, at 3, she is still a handful for me and was much more of a challenge than the babies once they were born. Dh and I say that the twins are more like 1.5 babies. It's easy to change a 2nd diaper, feed a 2nd child, etc. at the same time than having it spaced out. Still, together, the twins sleep better that DD1 did as a singleton. I am definately more rested now that ever with her. Still, it's fabulous to see their two little faces light up when DD1 enters the room and to hear them babble as she sings to them. :
post #36 of 41
I agree, having an older sib can be a total lifesaver and a joy to watch as the babies visually latch on to them! Though I do admit that I was always a little disappointed when I was chopped liver as soon as Sissy came into the room. She wasn't all that interested in the babies (she was just barely out of babyhood herself at 17 months) so she just did her thing, but the boys would quiet and watch and gurgle at her. It was sooooo cute.
post #37 of 41
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tigerchild View Post
I understand, Turnquia. Which is why IRL and here, I generally only share my experience when someone asks for honest opinions.

However, because I have had people make similar thoughtless comments to my face, I really couldn't not respond to "anyone who says negative things is ignorant or jealous."
Yeah I understand why you responded back. And I appreciate honest opinions too the good the bad and the ugly. LOL it just seems all I hear is the bad and the ugly so I needed to be able to hear some good Just one place for those days when I'm stressed out.
post #38 of 41
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Julia'sMom View Post
I just want to say that with this experience, it will make the twins even easier. DD1 was a handful for us. Friends still remember how much crying she did, with everyone, all the time. Even now, at 3, she is still a handful for me and was much more of a challenge than the babies once they were born. Dh and I say that the twins are more like 1.5 babies. It's easy to change a 2nd diaper, feed a 2nd child, etc. at the same time than having it spaced out. Still, together, the twins sleep better that DD1 did as a singleton. I am definately more rested now that ever with her. Still, it's fabulous to see their two little faces light up when DD1 enters the room and to hear them babble as she sings to them. :

This is what I am hopeing. Our son was aweful. Seriously took shifts just to prevent the other one from wanting to hurt him. We had NO help because no one wanted to be around this kid. I was working nights and DH days so neither of us ever slept. It was miserable. It wasn't until he turned a year he started to be more like a normal kiddo, and it wasn't until he was around 18 months I felt I could really say I LIKED him. (Obviously we love our kids, but we don't alway have to like them!) I feel bad because we really did't like this kiddo and did all we could to not want to give him away or something. LOL he's great now... but oye that much crying all the time no matter what really wears on you. I am terrified that will happen again just TWO fold.

However, its great to hear that it doesn't always work out the way we have pictured in our head
post #39 of 41
Having twins has been the hardest thing I've ever done, and at times a complete trainwreck. But I wouldn't trade them for anything! They are incredible together, in a way I could never have imagined. It makes up for every difficulty.
post #40 of 41
Quote:
Originally Posted by turnquia View Post
This is what I am hopeing. Our son was aweful. Seriously took shifts just to prevent the other one from wanting to hurt him. We had NO help because no one wanted to be around this kid. I was working nights and DH days so neither of us ever slept. It was miserable. It wasn't until he turned a year he started to be more like a normal kiddo, and it wasn't until he was around 18 months I felt I could really say I LIKED him. (Obviously we love our kids, but we don't alway have to like them!) I feel bad because we really did't like this kiddo and did all we could to not want to give him away or something. LOL he's great now... but oye that much crying all the time no matter what really wears on you. I am terrified that will happen again just TWO fold.

However, its great to hear that it doesn't always work out the way we have pictured in our head
While I slept less with my twins, they were WAY easier to deal with than my fourth baby. She had to be held constantly, cried constantly, nursed constantly. I mean, I don't know that I was able to take a shower or eat without her screaming for the first six months of her life. I did everything with one arm. She would ONLY nap if she was on my back (and was NOT a light child!). It was really, really hard.I prayed through my entire pregnancy with the babies that I wouldnt get two just like her. And while with the twins there is sheer numbers to be considered, they were WAAAAAAY more laid back personality wise. Rarely cried for anything other than "feed me, change me, rock me" type stuff. They would both hang in a swing for awhile. They napped well. It was challenging but totally doable.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Parenting Multiples
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Parenting Multiples › Positive twin stories?