I forgot to pick up someone's child

[carfreemama]

And I don't know how to begin to think about what that makes me.

This is a little girl whose mother often calls to ask me to pick her up. It is Thursday and dd's grandparents usually pick her up. Well, today we are going out there later for a birthday, so I asked dh if I should pick dd up today. He said yes. So I got there and dd's granddad was there already. He said they were picking her up. So I left, never thinking about the other girl. I just got a call from the mom, half an hour later, saying her daughter had been picked up by a teacher in the school grounds and was being brought home to her. I cannot, CANNOT believe I did this. I don't trust myself anymore. I don't know what to do beyond apologize. I got the name of the teacher who picked her up and I plan to go and talk to this person and make sure they knew it was my fault. What else can I do? Obviously, I have NEVER done anything like this before. How did it happen? What does it say about me?

[neveryoumindthere]

aww *hugs*
It doesn't say anything about you except that you forgot. Everyone forgets.

[i*wish]

It says you're a human being......
That's all.

[NiteNicole]

Sometimes people forget things, especially when plans change (or when they never change and you somehow skip a step, it can be so hard to remember if you did it or not, even if it's important). I can promise you, you're not the first to do this. Apologize all around and next time if you're going to pick her up, leave yourself a post it note in your car or something. Post it notes (and other reminders) are the only thing that keep my day moving.

[nola79]

Originally Posted by NiteNicole

Sometimes people forget things, especially when plans change (or when they never change and you somehow skip a step, it can be so hard to remember if you did it or not, even if it's important). I can promise you, you're not the first to do this. Apologize all around and next time if you're going to pick her up, leave yourself a post it note in your car or something. Post it notes (and other reminders) are the only thing that keep my day moving.

Yes, this. It's all you can really do at this point. One thing that helps me is to set my phone alarm for about 10 min proir to what I have to do, thay way I don't forget, b/c my phone is always on me. I have a standing alarm set for 3:15 to remind me to get ds from school. I've gotten busy with the baby, lost track of time and was late before, and he was the last kid there, in the office. I felt terrible.

[carfreemama]

Okay, post-it note it is. Suddenly I feel I can't trust myself. This is something I do for this mom at least once a week and I have never forgotten. I have had lots of stress lately, so maybe I'm distracted right now. The mom was forgiving and even invited dd to her dd's b-day party in the same phone call. I think I felt even worse. I just want to retrace my steps to make sure there is no possible way this can ever happen again. Thanks for the understanding. I feel like a monster.

[*bejeweled*]

I know you feel bad. It will get better. We all forget sometimes.

I have to set alarms and write down everything.

[prothyraia]

Things like this happen to everyone. It's okay- really.

[emma00]

I haven't forgotten to pick up a child (but I have almost done it on countless occasions.) My trick is that each and every pick-up I run trough "Am I supposed to pick up child X or Y today?" I also put it in my blackberry calendar and check that too. I never leave until I have gone through my checklist. I would surely forget if I didn't do that, as I have caught myself numerous times.

My own children have been forgotten (a few times) by the same friend who is a very good and loving person - just a little forgetful by times. My children haven't been unduly scarred by it ;-)

[carfreemama]

The checklist is a good idea. I'll have to change the way I do things, since I've actually never written any of this down. I WAH, so I'm an obvious choice to pick up kids when parents are running late. I OFTEN have other peoples' kids. I've never even forgotten my own kid. Heck, I've never even been LATE for my own kid. I think this is a measure of just how preoccupied I am right now. Better check the stove a couple of times before I go anywhere, too. It's a warning to me that I am not quite myself right now, so I should take extra precautions.

[lolar2]

I've read that this sort of thing is most common when one is sleep-deprived. Better go to bed early for a few nights.

[lab]

Originally Posted by carfreemama

And I don't know how to begin to think about what that makes me.

This is a little girl whose mother often calls to ask me to pick her up. It is Thursday and dd's grandparents usually pick her up. Well, today we are going out there later for a birthday, so I asked dh if I should pick dd up today. He said yes. So I got there and dd's granddad was there already. He said they were picking her up. So I left, never thinking about the other girl. I just got a call from the mom, half an hour later, saying her daughter had been picked up by a teacher in the school grounds and was being brought home to her. I cannot, CANNOT believe I did this. I don't trust myself anymore. I don't know what to do beyond apologize. I got the name of the teacher who picked her up and I plan to go and talk to this person and make sure they knew it was my fault. What else can I do? Obviously, I have NEVER done anything like this before. How did it happen? What does it say about me?

Oh gosh! I did this to my neighbor's little girl once.

I felt horrible! Horrible. I was literally sick on my stomach over it. I went and bought flowers for the child (first grader) and brought them over to her and apologized to her in person.

I have never done anything like this in my LIFE. Even pre-kids......it just seems so irresponsible.

Anyway - it turned out fine. I felt worse than the mother and the daughter. Which is probably why they were so okay with it - they knew I was stressed.

Just think - in 2 weeks you won't even think about this - let alone stress over it.

[lilyka]

Honestly if you do this once a week or so the school should have your contact number and mom should send a note to school letting them know who is picking up their dd. These things happen all the time. They should have at least called the mom who could have called you. Why didn't anyone call? My word, if I am more than 10 minutes past the bell my kids school calls.


and yeah I never know if I am coming or going. especially if plans change. I mean if I do not have a 100% consistant routien I am forgetting people everywhere.

[4C-mom]

((hugs)) i did that, too . to my best friend

She works full time days in an office. Usually during the summer, her 2 kids are in daycare all day. Her 5 year old needed extra help with reading and was selected for a special reading summer school that was to last for two weeks, from 8-12 each day. daycare wouldn't pick her up (mom dropped her off on the way to work). so, what to do? she really did need it.

well, i worked nights (7pm-7am) three days a week, so i offered to pick her up. ya know, come home, sleep a little, pick her up, bring her here. well, the very first day , at 12:30pm she calls me and says "i was counting on you".

yep. i went to bed and slept right thru it. principal had to call, and my friend had to leave work early to go get her. she wasn't happy. but i redeemed myself by always being on time every day after that.

it happens! you're human! it sucks, but it doesn't make you a bad person.

[carfreemama]

It's very reassuring to hear someone else actually DID this! I mean, it would be bad enough if it was my OWN child.

Lilyka, that's a good point about having my contact info. I pick up this little girl on the way to school every morning and drop her off at home very frequently. Apparently, she was just "wandering around the schoolyard" until a teacher noticed her and took her inside the school. I think it was actually
45 minutes before the mom called me and said the teacher was bringing her home. It does help to think of safeguards like this in case, God forbid, something ever happens again. She's only 6 now, but soon she'll be old enough to memorize my cell phone number. I don't think she knew I was picking her up, though; so she wouldn't have known to call. It's true, though; it's strange no-one called before then. I could have been down there in
5 minutes flat. I'm going to write a card to the mom and apologize to the girl when I pick her up tomorrow, in front of her mother. I am going to make sure they know this will never happen again.

[eclipse]

Aww, don't beat yourself up about it too much. You're human and humans make mistakes. Everything worked out - everyone was safe, and it doesn't even sound like the mother is too upset with you. If you're really feeling bad and want to *do* something for the mom and girl to say sorry, I'd bake some cookies or bread or something for them and give it to them with a little apology note. You might also find out if the *girl* was upset about it (because I know my daughter would probably been very scared if no one picked her up when they were supposed to - she's a worrier by nature and would be thinking that horrible things happened to me or the person who was supposed to get her), and if she was, make sure you apologize to her, too. It might mean a lot to her for you to address any fears she might have had.

ETA: I cross posted with you, OP

[GuildJenn]

It really is okay to make mistakes. It's one reason school dismissals should have some ways to catch errors. If I were your friend I might double-check with you for a few weeks but I would understand, especially as you've never forgotten before. Ease up on yourself a bit (come up with a system, but ease up!)

[cedoreilly]

I came home from dropping my DS2 at preschool, put DS3 down for a nap and took a nap myself. I woke up to my DS3 jumping on me. I look at my watch and it was pick up time! I live 15-20 minutes from the school. I was so embrassed. The teacher on the other hand just smiled and said she understood. I had had no sleep all week between work and DS1 being in the hospital earlier in the week.