Christians - Help me find a church

[happydance]

I have been to all kinds of Christian churches and nothing seems to fit me. Too conservative, too evangelistic, too old school, too impersonal, too "social" and not spiritual enough...

Sigh. Its so hard to find a good fit and I have been searching for 5 years since I became a christian.

[cappuccinosmom]

Been there. I finally decided that instead of looking for the perfect place for me to feel comfortable, maybe God was asking something from me. To "bloom where I'm planted", serve others, and seek fellowship with people that otherwise might not be on my radar.

It's not been easy for me, but it has been good for me.

[zinemama]

Not a Christian, but if I were, I'd probably belong to the UCC, like some of my friends.

http://www.ucc.org/about-us/new-to-the-ucc.html

[genifer]

Been there. I finally decided that instead of looking for the perfect place for me to feel comfortable, maybe God was asking something from me. To "bloom where I'm planted", serve others, and seek fellowship with people that otherwise might not be on my radar.

I am a christian and this is me too. Ive been where you are and this is the way I approach my walk within a fellowship. Its about following Christ where He will lead you as opposed to what you seek to gain out of any fellowship. What is it you are looking for?

[mija y mijo]

I'm in the same boat right now... I've been an Episcopalian since I became a Christian about 10 years ago. Now I feel like the church is severely lacking in the areas I NEED right now and that I think are very important as my relationship with Jesus grows.

We looked for a church for years after we moved before settling on this one two years ago. I feel like we've really tried to make it work. We've become very involved and tried organizing multiple activities... I'm really trying to "bloom where I have been planted" but when everything around you stays the same it makes it difficult and gets very discouraging. This summer we've decided to go shop around and see if God leads us to another church home.

Have you tried the Vineyard churches? There is one about an hour away that we really liked and are going to give another go this summer.

[Nazsmum]

I know this my be out in left field, but I felt the best "church" I every went to was Messianic. Maybe because I love the jewish flavor or maybe because everyone is just there for Jesus/Yeshua. Right now going for us is just not possible.

You know the most imporant thing is Jesus. If the church is right with Jesus then that is all you need.

Vineyard- my friend went to one and loved it. The music is very well known.

Hope you find a church.

[akind1]

I love non-denominational churches. It is sometimes hard to know if you've found one, because some churches have become fond of taking their affiliation out of the name to draw in people who might be turned off by that particular affiliation - just calling it _____ Church instead of ______ Baptist/Presbyterian/fill in the blank Church.

I don't like this practice myself as myself and others have what we feel are valid reasons for not wanting to attend a specific denomination of church and might be unpleasantly surprised to find ourselves in the midst of something other that what we'd hope. Then again, one might be very pleasantly surprised!

Size is an issue too for me, I don't know if it is one for you. I am not much into mega-churches. DH and I have finally found a church home, after much searching. It has traditional leanings - and so do we - but overall is very open minded and at least willing to discuss issues, rather than just see things in black and white. You might try your tribal area also, for specific church recommendations, unless you were looking for more of a class of church, or denomination, to try?

[Purple Sage]

The most important thing for me is that a church's teachings line up with what I believe to be the truth. So, for example, I'd never go to a Calvinist church because I do not believe Calvinism is the truth. I'd concentrate my efforts searching for a church on reading up on churches' history, statements of faith, doctrines, and other beliefs and try to find the best fit that way. I can always 'grow where planted' as far as other aspects of a church goes (size, social-ness, etc.).

[lolar2]

Originally Posted by akind1

I love non-denominational churches. It is sometimes hard to know if you've found one, because some churches have become fond of taking their affiliation out of the name to draw in people who might be turned off by that particular affiliation - just calling it _____ Church instead of ______ Baptist/Presbyterian/fill in the blank Church.

Some denominations don't have a particular tradition of putting the denomination in the name-- so they aren't trying to be deceptive, they're just naming themselves according to their own tradition-- but most of them will be happy to tell you if you ask. Any church that won't tell you "we're x" or "we're non-denominational" and is thus deceptive about something simple like denominational affiliation, has bigger problems than just denominational affiliation.

[akind1]

I mentioned it because in our area, this has become a trend - I visited a church while it was having meetings to change its name from _______ Baptist Church to _______ Church. and others in the area are doing the same. Now they will tell you if you ask, but I prefer churches to be honest up front.

And yes, they probably did have bigger ptoblems!

[lolar2]

That is bizarre. Were they formally dis-associating themselves from, say, the Southern Baptist Convention, or just changing the name? I've heard of churches breaking away from their denominations of course, but not staying in the denomination and changing the name.

[Katala]

Originally Posted by akind1

I mentioned it because in our area, this has become a trend - I visited a church while it was having meetings to change its name from _______ Baptist Church to _______ Church. and others in the area are doing the same. Now they will tell you if you ask, but I prefer churches to be honest up front.

And yes, they probably did have bigger ptoblems!

I've experienced this to. When I was practicing Christianity I attended a church for almost a year before I found out that they weren't non-denominational, but were in fact, part of a denomination that I really disagreed with on a lot of issues that were important to me. The next church I attended I was sure to ask. They to, were part of a denomination (sort of) but not one that was as objectionable to me at the time.

[happydance]

Originally Posted by cappuccinosmom

Been there. I finally decided that instead of looking for the perfect place for me to feel comfortable, maybe God was asking something from me. To "bloom where I'm planted", serve others, and seek fellowship with people that otherwise might not be on my radar.

It's not been easy for me, but it has been good for me.

Good idea. Hard to do!!! I am so lonley for friends!

Originally Posted by zinemama

Not a Christian, but if I were, I'd probably belong to the UCC, like some of my friends.

http://www.ucc.org/about-us/new-to-the-ucc.html

I think there is one of those walking distance from me!

Originally Posted by genifer

I am a christian and this is me too. Ive been where you are and this is the way I approach my walk within a fellowship. Its about following Christ where He will lead you as opposed to what you seek to gain out of any fellowship. What is it you are looking for?

Community - friendship - someone who will not only invite you to their backyard bbq but who will also say to you in a time of trial "Let me pray with you."

I am turned off by the interpritation of the scriptures that I find at most denom's. They are not what I know to be true in my own conviction. I am very saddened by this. God must have other plans for me.

Originally Posted by mija y mijo

I'm in the same boat right now... I've been an Episcopalian since I became a Christian about 10 years ago. Now I feel like the church is severely lacking in the areas I NEED right now and that I think are very important as my relationship with Jesus grows.

We looked for a church for years after we moved before settling on this one two years ago. I feel like we've really tried to make it work. We've become very involved and tried organizing multiple activities... I'm really trying to "bloom where I have been planted" but when everything around you stays the same it makes it difficult and gets very discouraging. This summer we've decided to go shop around and see if God leads us to another church home.

Have you tried the Vineyard churches? There is one about an hour away that we really liked and are going to give another go this summer.

No I have not. Thanks for the reccomendation!

Originally Posted by Nazsmum

I know this my be out in left field, but I felt the best "church" I every went to was Messianic. Maybe because I love the jewish flavor or maybe because everyone is just there for Jesus/Yeshua. Right now going for us is just not possible.

You know the most imporant thing is Jesus. If the church is right with Jesus then that is all you need.

Vineyard- my friend went to one and loved it. The music is very well known.

Hope you find a church.

Jesus. Yes.

Originally Posted by akind1

I love non-denominational churches. It is sometimes hard to know if you've found one, because some churches have become fond of taking their affiliation out of the name to draw in people who might be turned off by that particular affiliation - just calling it _____ Church instead of ______ Baptist/Presbyterian/fill in the blank Church.

I don't like this practice myself as myself and others have what we feel are valid reasons for not wanting to attend a specific denomination of church and might be unpleasantly surprised to find ourselves in the midst of something other that what we'd hope. Then again, one might be very pleasantly surprised!

Size is an issue too for me, I don't know if it is one for you. I am not much into mega-churches. DH and I have finally found a church home, after much searching. It has traditional leanings - and so do we - but overall is very open minded and at least willing to discuss issues, rather than just see things in black and white. You might try your tribal area also, for specific church recommendations, unless you were looking for more of a class of church, or denomination, to try?

I am and also am not into mega churches. I dont always like small churches becaise I have a hard time convincing my kids to go when there is a lack of children. And a lack of childrens programs.

[lolar2]

That reminds me-- when I look for a new church (we move a lot!) I tend to call a few different UU churches and ask them about their safety security policies for child care and Sunday school. That's my first pre-screening question.

[Katala]

Happydance,

Based on the things you've said, I get the impression that it might be worth checking out a Unity church, it sounds like something that could be a good fit. I've never *really* attended one long term, but I used to go to a local Unity church to receive reiki (they had a free community reiki session once a month ) and every now and then I would go to the service before hand. I'm sure they're all different, but the one I went to had a REALLY excellent children's program (children were welcome to stay for the service too if they wanted.)

[mama*pisces]

I have been attending my Unity church since January of this year and I LOVE it. I have never loved any other church like this....prior to finding Unity I was disillusioned with the idea of church and was starting to think I would never find one where I felt I fit in. Unity is a perfect fit! Check it out:

http://www.unity.org/aboutunity/index.html

[happydance]

I am at Unity now. I am very unhappy with the childrens program - or lack of - and there are virtually no children there at the church at all.

[flatstanley72]

Originally Posted by happydance

I am at Unity now. I am very unhappy with the childrens program - or lack of - and there are virtually no children there at the church at all.

I attended a Unity church for several years and loved it before having children, but also was not happy with the children's program. As I started looking for a different church, I found myself wanting something more traditionally Christian, but still open-minded and accepting of all people. I have been attending a Christian (Disciples of Christ) church and really like it so far. You can read more about this denomination here: http://www.disciples.org/AboutTheDis...7/Default.aspx

Good luck!

[Tjej]

On the side topic of denominations taking out their denomination name in their name - in our area some churches do it because denominational names can be seen as exclusive cultural/ethnic groups and the churches are trying to show they are not exclusive like that.

I remember there was a church I used to drive by that was the first croatian church and I always figured - well, I'm not croatian so I won't go THERE. I think that is the main reason.

If the church is really trying to HIDE the denominational affiliation that is just weird.

As far as where to go, that's hard. In order to know if people are the friendly BBQ and "Let's pray about that" type you have to stay a while and get to know people. It could take a really long time to find a church if you have to spend a couple of months at each one.

I think that if I were in your situation I would make a list of all the churches in the area (figure out your driving distance maximum). Cross off any you KNOW are not a good match. Pray about them. Call the churches and find out a little about the doctorine and what sort of stuff they have going on. Pray about them again. Cross off a few more. Circle a few to really visit and pray over. Keep going like this until you find one to try for a few months... And when you do try, make sure you throw yourself out there and work at getting connected (small group, volunteer in something), even if it isn't your personality, push yourself. Then you can get to know things more quickly and figure things out more quickly.

HTH

Tjej

[happydance]

Originally Posted by Tjej

On the side topic of denominations taking out their denomination name in their name - in our area some churches do it because denominational names can be seen as exclusive cultural/ethnic groups and the churches are trying to show they are not exclusive like that.

I remember there was a church I used to drive by that was the first croatian church and I always figured - well, I'm not croatian so I won't go THERE. I think that is the main reason.

If the church is really trying to HIDE the denominational affiliation that is just weird.

As far as where to go, that's hard. In order to know if people are the friendly BBQ and "Let's pray about that" type you have to stay a while and get to know people. It could take a really long time to find a church if you have to spend a couple of months at each one.

I think that if I were in your situation I would make a list of all the churches in the area (figure out your driving distance maximum). Cross off any you KNOW are not a good match. Pray about them. Call the churches and find out a little about the doctorine and what sort of stuff they have going on. Pray about them again. Cross off a few more. Circle a few to really visit and pray over. Keep going like this until you find one to try for a few months... And when you do try, make sure you throw yourself out there and work at getting connected (small group, volunteer in something), even if it isn't your personality, push yourself. Then you can get to know things more quickly and figure things out more quickly.

HTH

Tjej

I was at church 3x a week, fully immersed, in activities, volunteering, etc. For a year and a half.

I cant imagine why "you", as a believer, wouldnt pray withsomeone who needed it. No matter if you knew them or not.