Need some advice...

[karalynnskies]

I would like some advice on an issue I am struggling with. Me and my husband are both really wanting to start a family soon. I am 26 and he is 31 neither of us have kids and we both want at least two, maybe more. I am currently finishing up school and I graduate next may. We were going to wait to get pregnant until right after I graduate and then start trying. Me and hubby talked, and thought maybe that wouldn't be the best time because I would be trying to find a job. I am going into the radiography field and right now in my area it is taking new graduates around 6 months to find a job, so I didn't know how being pregnant would affect my chances of getting hired. My husband suggested getting pregnant this October or November that way I would be due around two months after I sit for my boards. That is if we get pregnant right away. Then I could try to find a job after the baby is born and wouldn't have to worry about being pregnant and working. I am just afraid being pregnant in school will be super stressful. Everyone always says there is never a perfect time to have a baby but I am just so torn on what to do. I was hoping some of you have been in both situations and can tell me how your experience was. I would greatly appreciate any advice.

[poppan]

I'd be worried about trying to get hired while pregnant. If you are showing at all it is harder to get hired. Legally people aren't supposed to discriminate, but few employers/managers want to hire someone, train them, and right when they're trained they leave to have a baby. Who knows if you would come back to work or not, even if you say you do, a lot of new mothers change their mind. I sooo hate saying this because I'm a woman and a mother and I think that's an awful attitude, but I know it would be going through my head if I were the hiring manager.

If I were to be completely rational about it I would say get through school, get a job, then get pregnant.

Of course, these things aren't rational.

[karalynnskies]

I know I wish I was rational as well. I completely agree with everything you say. I know the smartest thing would be to wait till I get through school, get a job, and then get pregnant. I just really don't want to wait that long. Especially if I can't find a job right away. I just don't know what to do.... I know nobody can tell me what to do. Like I said personal stories and experiences would be appreciated.

I also feel like I am approaching 30 and I want at least two children. And its always in the back of my mind what if we have problems getting prego...

[Juvysen]

I got (accidentally) pregnant half way through my master's degree. It wasn't really a huge deal finishing up while pregnant, but I would NOT have wanted to start looking for a job (i.e. look presentable and not have baby brain so i could come off sounding smart at an interview) while being exhausted, etc from having a newborn. I guess i'd say find the job *then* get pregnant, or wait until your baby is 6 or so months old? I ended up just staying home with her and then got pregnant again when she was 9 months old and I'm still home 4 1/2 years later.

[Juvysen]

Originally Posted by karalynnskies

I also feel like I am approaching 30 and I want at least two children. And its always in the back of my mind what if we have problems getting prego...

well, i'm 29 and I figure I've got 15-20 years of fertility left (which is actually a *bad* thing in my mind right now because we're not fond of the birth control options available)... so I would guess that you likely have 20-25 years to have several children in. Being 30's not a death sentence