Cosleeping with twins?

[annettemarie]

I'd love to hear stories of what co-sleeping with twins looks like. How did you do it? What worked for you? What do you wish you'd done differently?

[skybluepink02]

It looks... crowded. But fun! We started out on a queen sized mattress, before we got smart and went king sized with a side car crib. Now there's plenty of room for everyone! Once they got 6 months or so we started them out in their cribs at night as long as they were happy about it and brought them to bed when they wanted. I worked hard to make the crib a nice safe place. We never let them cry in the crib, immediately answered their needs. They gradually got more and more comfortable in the crib. We started doing that once they were rolling so we didn't have to go to bed at 7pm. : Now at 15 months they spend 3/4 of their bedtime in their cribs, unless someone is teething. My son never liked to sleep with anyone, he still will only sleep with us if we don't touch him the entire night (hence the sidecar). He actually very rarely sleeps with us anymore. He was one of those freakish babies that slept through the night at 4 months old. My daughter spends much more time in our bed and loves to snuggle right in to sleep. She prefers sleeping with my hand against her cheek. She didn't sleep through the night until over a year.

[4Marmalade]

We are still co-sleeping with our twins who will be 2 in a couple of weeks . We bought a king size bed when I was first pregnant with them although we didn't know at the time there would be two of them . At the beginning I remember dh spending a lot of time sleeping with the older dc's in theri rooms as they were still nightwaking. A king size bed is big but not big enough for 6 people. I slept with the babies and used a couple of pillows to help with propping for night nursing. Mostly I slept and still do sleep in between them with dh on the other side. Our bed and boxspring is on the floor and against 2 walls so the drop is not very far.

Two years later I am very happy we are co-sleeping. I honestly can't imagine going through all those nights when they were younger having to get out of bed all the time.

[annettemarie]

Thanks, mamas!

We have a queen-sized bed with a crib sidecarred. I suspect that our three-year-old, although he starts out in his big guy bed, will continue to wander into bed with us halfway through the night.

[Llyra]

With my twins, I had a part-time cosleeping two year old at the same time. We drifted through a whole bunch of different arrangements, during that first year, as everybody's needs changed. My twins were never ever happy sleeping next to each other-- DS was and still is an extremely light sleeper, and he couldn't sleep worth a fart with his twin next to him. (Sorry for the strong language-- I still sometimes wonder how we all got through that phase! )

We started with the queen-size with a side-car crib, and a mattress on the floor for DD1's occasional cosleeping. I mostly didn't use the sidecar at first-- I kept my pump, and extra diapering stuff, and snacks and drinks for me there. I actually had a minifridge under it for awhile... The twins slept on either side of me, with one twin between me and DH, and one on the crib side. As each twin woke, I rolled to the side to nurse. If both woke together, I'd have DH take one downstairs to walk around until I got the other back to sleep. I can't tandem lying down, and if I tandemed sitting up, when I tried to put them down afterwards, DS would wake up screaming. Sometimes in the first few hours of the night, I'd go sleep with DD1, because the twins would give us a longer stretch if I wasn't there-- like three hours as compared to 45 minutes.

After a few months, we went through a phase where DH and DD2 slept downstairs on the guest bed, and DS and I had the bed. DD2 would sleep longer that way, and when she woke, I would go downstairs and nurse her back to sleep, and then go back to DS. At that point, DD1 was in her own bed again. DS woke very frequently with me next to him, but he was having weight-gain issues, so we didn't want to encourage him to sleep longer stretches. DD2 on the other hand was a chunker, and could clearly manage three or four hours without nursing with just the barest bit of encouragement.

Eventually, when they started crawling, we put our bed on the floor, and the crib across the room, and I started teaching DD2 to spend part of the night in there. I gave DS the mattress on the floor, and I used to get up during the night and lie there and nurse him, and then when he was conked out if I was still awake I'd go back to our bed and sleep with DH. When DD2 woke I'd bring her in with me, and then just bed-hop all night.

That was the arrangement we had when they hit toddlerhood.

I think my point is that with twins, you gotta be flexible, and do whatever works to get each person in the house the maximum amount of sleep.

I loved the roll-back-and-forth stage-- that was my favorite part, and if DS hadn't been such a difficult sleeper, we might have gone on with that way for a much longer time.

[annettemarie]

Thanks, Llyra! I think that's something I need to watch out for in all areas and not just cosleeping. I have this beautiful picture of two babies snuggled up with each other, but I need to remember that might now work for them. My second was the prickliest little baby in the universe and wouldn't cosleep worth a fart either. I remember crying when we set up the crib, but she really wanted her own space.

[Julia'sMom]

Originally Posted by annettemarie

Thanks, mamas!

We have a queen-sized bed with a crib sidecarred. I suspect that our three-year-old, although he starts out in his big guy bed, will continue to wander into bed with us halfway through the night.

This was the struggle for us. It's not safe for dd to sleep next to the twins. She loves them so much that when they cry, she throws her arm over them, even when she's sleeping. However, she's not old enough to know if where her arm is is safe, or if it's smothering.

So...we use the crib a lot more than I'd like. THey start in teh crib and then I co-sleep with whomever needs it more, usually alternating throughout the night. I try and co-sleep with dd2 more often because she still needs to gain weight and I know she eats more when sleeping with me. However, ds it the one that needs the co=sleeping to settle each night. So...it's far different than I imagined, but with dd1 still joining us occasionally, I just don't feel safe with all five of us in a bed. Oh, we have a king bed and when we're all together, the babes are on each side of me with their heads on my upperarms and my arm around them. That way I can gently fend off dd1 if she gets too close and am reassure that the babes are safe.

[herdingkittens]

Ahhh, co-sleeping with twins has taught me so much - wish I would have done this long ago...

We took our king size mattress and laid it right on the floor. No frame, no box. If the babies rolled off, no big deal. We also turned our bedroom into a giant crib. Everything baby proofed and there is a small basket of toys and a little collection of books for them. This little arrangement bought me hours of extra sleep in the morning (in small increments, of course ) after they woke. They would wake up, nurse, and when they got mobile, crawl over and find something to do, while I got a few minutes of shut eye from being up all night.

They are still in bed with us (and more often then not, our 4 year old darling wanders in at some point in the night) and I almost am sad at the prospect of them NOT being in our bed. I LOVE seeing their little bodies all sprawled out and the sweet sleep smell of the bedroom from them.

We have done it this way pretty much from the get-go with them. We had a crib up in the room, but never used it (I think I put them in there once when they were making me crazy when they were little and I needed a breather! ). We've always let them wake one another (which kept them on the same schedule).

The only thing I would have done different is to put 2 little bowls of cheerios on the bookcase for them in the morning!!! Ha ha!!! Can you tell I was sleep deprived!!?! Really, though, I am serious...

[f&p'smama]

We had a co-sleeper attached to our bed. When one would wake to nurse, I'd nurse her side-lying and we'd both fall asleep that way. Then the other would wake and I'd put the one who woke first back in the co-sleeper and nurse the one who just woke.

We only co-slept for 4 months though. My husband works a lot and I felt like I couldn't manage co-sleeping with an absent husband. We've co-slept full-time with our youngest so knowing what I know, I'd find a way to make it work if I could. I think one of my twins would have happily co-slept and the other needed her own space, but I had a harder time then than I think I would now putting one in her own bed and co-sleeping with the other. I felt like I had to be even.

[Nanasi]

We co-sleep with our 17 and 20-pound 6-month-olds and a 16 pound cat in a queen-size bed with a crib side-car. Let me tell you, it's tight!

My husband likes waking up with the kids in bed, but he definitely doesn't like cuddling with them at night, so they tend to gather around me. Going on vacation was so nice because we stayed in hotel rooms with king-size beds. I could finally roll over with out having to move the baby who'd wedged himself against my back, and we all got more sleep because I wasn't waking them up and they weren't waking me up.

Now that they're older, the roll over to nurse thing doesn't work too well for me in the queen-size bed. When everyone is in our bed, I don't sleep very well. Plus, it's super stressful for me when I'm nursing one and the other wakes up crying, wanting to nurse. Usually I just end up sitting up anyways. My system these days is to put them down together in the crib and to nurse them sitting up in bed when they wake up. Then I put them back down in the crib. Usually I end up bringing them into our bed when they wake up after 3am (I'm too tired to sit up and nurse them by that time). I'm not 100% happy with our set-up, but I don't know how I'd change it--except to give me more sleep. Wishful thinking, I know.

[ChaoticMum]

I co-slept til about 5-6mths when rolling in their sleep became a common occurance. too many other factors to keep it safe.

I laid both babes in the middle (DH works nights so I am on my own at night) and I laid down to nurse one babe, fell asleep. when other babe woke to feed I got up, over and nursed him - and went back to sleep. I got Amazing sleep during those first 5mths....ahhh I miss it! LOL

[lexbeach]

Our Family bed (a king, a queen, AND a full: all futons on the floor).

We exclusively co-slept with our twins until they were two years old. We started with one king-sized mattress (on the floor), and have added to it as our family has grown. Initially, my wife and I each slept with a baby (on our chests), and then once I figured out side-lying nursing (~8 weeks), I slept with one baby on each side of me, rolling back and forth between them all night. Just after their second birthday, we started putting them to bed in their own twin-sized beds, but still allowed them to join us in the Big Bed whenever they woke. One of them still (at seven!) joins us the vast majority of the time, while the other mostly consistently sleeps through the night in his own bed (new this past year).

My advice for twin mamas is the same as my advice for all mamas: measure your room, figure out how many mattresses of what size are needed to go from one wall to the other, smoosh them together on the floor.

Sleep has been a near non-issue for us, I think in large part due to our sweet family bed set-up (at this point it is just a king and a queen since we moved into a smaller bedroom than the one pictured above). No one minds co-sleeping if they have enough space in the bed.

HTH!

Lex

[herdingkittens]

lexbeach....your family bed is BEAUTIFUL!!! I have always dreamed of a setup like that!!! It looks so cozy and fresh and peaceful! Thank you for sharing. If these little guys are still in bed with us when our new little one arrives, we might need to upgrade to your plan! ha ha!

[voicegrrl]

Twins and I slept on a queen mattress on the floor and my 3 yo and her dad slept on a full mattress on the floor right next to us for the first year. My bed was against the wall and the other bed so I had a twin on either side and rolled back and forth between them like Lex said. It was tiring, but hey I slept better than I would have if I'd been getting up to get a baby out of a crib all night. After the first year my older dd moved into her own room when she was around 4 and I think the twins slept between my bed and a toddler bed next to us.

[annettemarie]

Thanks all! And Lex, I love the picture. My friend has a set up like that and it's like a giant mosh pit o' sleep, LOL!