Will my son ever get to sleep by himself?

[mamafever]

We usually co-sleep, lately he has started in his own bed and then comes into our bed the first time he wakes up in the middle of the night. He has never gone to bed with out nusing unless we are in the car occasionally. I can not imagine him going to sleep any other way, but I think I am ready for it. I don;t want to be selfish, but sometimes it would be nice to have my husband put him down if I am busy with something. We tried it a few times, and he will cry and cry. I can not handle it! Any advice? or encouragement?

[ssh]

Your question was "Will my son ever get to sleep by himself?" Kids are ready at different ages, but yes he will. My DD started wanting to sleep in her own bed, by herself, a few days after turning 4. I had the hardest time sleeping for a couple of weeks. I kept 'listening' for her from the other room when I was trying to sleep. She had weaned herself a couple of months before that so she was already going to sleep without nursing.

[karika]

When your boy is 16 he will most likely be sleeping alone. Is your child under 2? That is very young for sleeping alone IMO. Most cosleepers I read about have the child leave voluntarily between 3-5 yo. My dd1 is almost 7 and still cosleeps. She wanted to sleep alone for awhile, but it was very short lived. She was 6 and got a new bed, she slept alone for about 8 nights. In places where cosleeping is the norm, like other countries besides US, people cosleep for their whole lives with someone. When I was still married, dd and I slept in our own bed when she was 1.5-3 yo and I visited dh whenever I wanted to. I would say to continue to cosleep until the child moves on. You can use gentle ways to encourage it as others say, like a bed or mattress beside your bed, slowly moving it further away in your room. It is whatever the child will be happy with IMO.
I understand about the nursing them to sleep getting you down. I feel that way at times too. But our children are so young still. I plan on nursing until at least 3-5 yo (whenever she wants to stop), so maybe my perspective is different? If you need to limit nighttime nursing, I have heard others say the no cry sleep solution works well. I believe it consists of nursing the baby until they are no longer actively sucking, and pretty much asleep, but not deeply, then remove your nipple. If they cry and try to regain the nipple, comfort them and try some water. If it doesn't work and the baby is still crying for nipple, give it back to them, then do it all over again. This supposedly teaches them that they can fall asleep without a nipple in their mouth. I bet someone else with direct experience with Pantley's method will chime in. I just nurse any time the LO wants to, or until I am beyond empty, at which time I try other things until I fill again. I also feel the frustration but I feel it is up to me to break the cycle and provide what I didn't have.