I want to go back to school...

[SugarGlider]

I am 34 years old and other than a few misc jobs over the years that I found that didn't affect the time my kids were home I have been a SAHM. My daughter will be 15 in a few months and my son will be 12 in 3 weeks.

I find myself desperately wanting to fulfill my life-long dream now.

This has been the most challenging year of my life and when it was all over and the dust had settled I found myself feeling very much at my limit of being able to give without resentment. I very much believe all giving should be done freely and without expectations so this has made me see that I need to begin my own journey now.

When my kids were young I started to go back to school. I ended up dropping out after a year because my mom refused to watch my kids any longer and my 1 year old son was having a lot of issues where I didn't feel safe leaving him with a sitter. I quit school. My student loans have haunted me all these years, growing growing growing. I've slowly paid them off but I still owe 2200. I should get this paid off in the next year and it's then that I want to go to school.

I will be 35. I will get a BS in Biology and apply to veterinarian school. All together it will take 8 years of school and I will finish when I'm 43, if I don't specialize.

It's going to be expensive. I will have to relocate after my BS because I'm 4 hours away from the nearest vet college. My daughter will be 18 then, my son 16. My son will go with me and my daughter can choose to go or stay with her dad.

I have such a huge pile of fear. I may not be smart enough, I may FAIL.

But this is all I have ever wanted to do as long as I can remember and if I never try I will never ever know if I could have done it. I NEED to know now. I need to give this to myself.

I am incredibly thankful for the years I've been able to dedicate completely to my kids... but it is time to start the next phase. I don't want to end up sending my son off to college and saying "ok, now what?" and being 7 or 8 years older than I am now starting this journey.

But I have to admit that even though my kids are 14 and 12 I still am full of guilt about wanting to do something for myself.

[Gimme Pineapple]

I think it is wonderful that you are determined to complete your education and fulfill your dream. I wish you all the luck in the world and hope that you are blessed with success on your journey.

Your children are at an age where they should understand (and hopefully support) your desire to reach your goals. Set in your mind that failure is not an option. I am excited for you!

[marinak1977]

- good luck mama! I think it's great that you're following your dream. You will succeed in it if you're stubborn and persistent.
May I suggest if you haven't done it yet looking into getting a vet tech certification because it's a lot easier to get into vet school if you have professional experience. Good luck!

[*MamaJen*]

There's no time like today to start living your dreams. I think you're setting a wonderful example for your kids.

[sparklett]

BRAVO mama!!!! Do it!

Have you heard of this book: If Wishes Were Horses: The Education of a Veterinarian. You might like it. It's about a woman who decided to go back to school and become a veterinarian, despite being "older". Here's what one synopsis says:
"Loretta Gage always wanted to become a veterinarian but had allowed herself to be sidetracked until, at the tender age of 34, she became the oldest student at Colorado State University's College of Veterinary Medicine after applying for admission three times. Writing with her sister Nancy, Gage describes her early life, her experiences in veterinary school, and some of her early postgraduation "clients." While an interesting success story, her book is even more valuable because it describes veterinary course work in detail and the concentrated effort that it requires."

In the book, Loretta thoroughly articulates the fear of failure and change that you described in your post. I found this book to be inspiring and a great reminder that just becuase we're "older", it doesn't mean we can't pursue our dreams. I'm 33 and will start my PhD next year.

Sorry to get a bit off-track, but I thought you might enjoy this.

Best of luck to you!

[SugarGlider]

Thank you all! I'm very excited

Sparklett, thank you, I will find the book asap

[aylaanne]

www.oldpremeds.com is a website forum that specializes in people who are older and heading on the intensive journey that is med school. I know you're planning on doing vet school, but you may want to go to the website and read around to see how other people have done the undergraduate years.

I don't want to burst your bubble, I think it's great that you are dedicated to this dream and want to achieve it. However, I want to give you a bit of perspective. My mother went back to school when I was 12, and got her masters degree a week before I received my high school diploma. When I needed her for support on dating, applying for jobs and college, and choosing classes, she was more preoccupied with her own struggles with working and academia. She still helped me, but she wasn't able to focus as much. It was hard for me to get started on my own because I didn't really have parents who could help me. I think my frustration was compounded because I was called on frequently to sub for her in the parenting role for her younger children, as well.

Your children may not have these issues, but I think you should be open and honest with them about the time committment, and be aware of their needs as you choose classes and make plans. If you solicit their support, you will be much more successful.

[Izzy's Mom]

What a great thread! I have recently decided to start working toward my long-given up dream of going to law school. I've worked as a legal assistant/paralegal for a dozen years. I even have my own business now doing admin work for lawyers from home. But I realized it wasn't enough, and that I can make this happen if I work really, really hard.

Thanks OP for posting about it - there is good advice here on both sides of the equation and I hope you are truly inspired to go after your dream!

[PiesandAbrosmama]

I just wanted to say good for you! I also have struggled with going back to school and this fall I start for the very first time! It's not going to be easy but I think it will be so well worth it! Hope you find courage and strength