Worrying about the state of the world and our LOs

[peachespoe]

I have been having a lot of anxiety lately about the state of the world and what it will be like for the future of my little girl. I can't imagine not having children in my life, but sometimes I feel bad and guilty about bringing a life into the world.

I always wanted at least two children and feel strongly that I want to give my daughter (now 19 months) a sibling sometime soon, but yikes, these disasters like the BP oil fiasco (among countless other things) makes me really worry about the future.

Anyone else have these thoughts and what do you tell yourself to make yourself feel better about bringing kids into this world? I am not writing this to start a controversy or argument. I am seriously looking for some wise words to help me sleep a little better at night (I was awake at 5AM this morning feeling panicky with these thoughts).

[ellemenope]

Yes, but it will be our children who will bring mankind out of these dark ages. Have faith.

[Chamomile Girl]

I don't know if my words of wisdom are going to be that comforting but here goes...

I guess it depends on what you think the point of living is. I am one who does not believe it is all about putting yourself and your family into a giant "safe" bubble and staying there until you die. Life is about learning of the world, creating relationships, and impacting/helping others. There have always been disasters and there always will be. But it is the future generations that will help mitigate these disasters, and who will learn how to help the planet heal. Its a weighty charge but a noble one I think.

If you live in the United States/Canada/other so-called first world country than your kids will already have a safety advantage. They will probably not have to go to war for water for example. But its important to teach them about these things so that they can learn how to be humanitarian. They can become part of the solution. Your future children are powerful! Teach them to also be strong.

IMO life is about loving and being loved. This is a huge gift that you give to your children, and they will have that no matter the state of the world. They can then pass that gift onto many others. Things like this have a ripple effect...they matter.

I'm not saying this as well as I would like (my child wants my attention). Hopefully someone else will jump in and do it properly.

[peachespoe]

Chamomile Girl, your words mean a lot. Those are just the kind of thoughts I was hoping to hear. While I have never been able to express them to myself or others in such a way, those are the types of thoughts that do come into my mind and heart when I am feeling positive. It's just hard not to get pulled down by the everyday knowledge of what is going on. Thank you for reminding me!! I am going to print out your reply and keep it where I can remind myself more often.

I am open to more inspirational thoughts, as well, from others ...

[starling&diesel]

I struggle with this too, OP. You're not alone!
Although, I worry more on a individual level about my daughter ... about sickness, injury, loss, grief, danger, violence and fear.
I'm a paramedic, so see a lot of families dealing with the unimaginable, and it's hard not to come home and worry that the same will happen to us.
I also worry about the big picture too ... it's hard not to, what with all the troubles globally, environmentally, spiritually, economically.
I look to my faith (which is nothing fundamentalist or super-churchy, we're UU ... but having a basis from which to process difficult things does help), and to hope, and to my daughter herself. I am thankful for every day with her, even the hard ones, and am always sure to show her my love for her every day.
Her 20 month old buddy died a few weeks ago, which has both heightened my worry and eased my heart, what with watching his family honour their loss.

Raising a child is the ultimate responsibility and the ultimate gift. It is hard to know how to keep our perspective in balance, isn't it?

[Comtessa]

In my circle of activists, there is a more or less consensus agreement that having children is an irresponsible thing to do. Overpopulation and the planet, etc. You know the argument. Not to mention the very real truth that we all become much more conservative, much less likely to take risks, when we have children. In some ways, that makes us less useful to the movement, right? I mean, when my family was just me and a cat and I was self-employed, it was easy to risk arrest doing nonviolent civil disobedience for a worthy cause. But now that I have a spouse and nursling depending on me, I just can't take those kind of risks. So I wonder, am I doing all that I can to change the world now that I have this little person depending on me? It seems that most days, all I can manage to do is wash her diapers, ykwim? (See sig file... )

But none of that means that I agree with my colleagues that having children is irresponsible or selfish. It's just long-term planning for the movement's future. Because somebody in the next generation is going to have to stick around and clean up the mess we've left for them. And they are going to need a whole lot of creative, nonviolent leaders with the intelligence, courage, independence, fortitude, determination, faith, wisdom, and prophetic vision to take on the problems of this world, and somebody has to train those people to do it. And, forgive my self-congratulation, but I'm darn good at that particular job.

So -- is this a good world to give to my child? Most assuredly not. I really can't think of the world as a gift I'm giving to my child -- I believe that my child is a gift I'm giving to the world. And I plan on teaching her how to be that gift by using her own personal gifts to take up the work of repairing all the dreadful damage we've done so far. Let's hope that many, many other parents are doing the same -- because they are human society's best hope.

[blizzard_babe]

Originally Posted by Comtessa

I really can't think of the world as a gift I'm giving to my child -- I believe that my child is a gift I'm giving to the world.

I think that may be the mostest awesomest thing I've read all day .

[MountainMamaGC]

Is having children irresponsible?

Not if the world will NEED your children. I plan on raising her to be someone this world needs.

It gives me hope to find people who are like minded. To find people that dont accept the status quo. There are a lot of us out there. It gives me hope when I fear for the future.