What is more fair/less harmful?

[Jane91]

I have 2.5 month old twin girls (E. and L.). Recently, it has become obvious that E's crying sets off (or continues) L's crying. However, E has no reaction to L's crying.

When both are crying, it seems like my options are to either always tend E. first (since her crying makes it difficult to console L) or to take L into another room to soothe her and leave E. totally alone while crying.

Right now, I'm trying to soothe both babies at once, focusing more on the one that is more distressed. This used to work when neither baby reacted to the other, but is not very effective anymore.

I don't like either of my options and am wondering which others think seems less awful or if anyone has any other suggestions.

[jillmamma]

I don't have multiples, but I do have more than one child and have done daycare. I think what I would do is assess the causes of distress and see what I can do fast/needs it most. Like if one is crying because she needs her diaper changed, take care of that first, then try and help the other (of course talking and reassuring the other that you do hear her and will be there in just a few minutes). If both have clean diapers and are fed, but just fussy, I think I would try putting on some soothing music, grab a book or two, and sit with both in the rocking chair (btdt when DS was a baby and my daycare baby were both ready for a nap, but not settling down yet). I don't know if you nurse both together or not, but for me with my first two who are 2.5 years apart and I tandem nursed, a lot of times nursing them together if both were crying would help get everyone settled down fast. That has to be tough, and I hope you are able to figure out something good that works for you soon!