Is it OK that my 3 yo eats like this?

[bluebirdiemama]

Ok, I know it's not.

He started out eating pretty well, lots of eggs, but lots of veggies and fruit too. Now it seems like all he wants to eat are eggs, usually with cheese, and sugar. I don't give him much sugar, but I think he tends toward fatty, junky food because of his genes. His grandpa... oh dear... only eats meat, cheese, carbs and junk. It seems like my ds is starting to try to steer towards this kind of diet. It doesn't help that his great grandmother, great aunt, and grandpa act like junk food is the greatest thing on earth. They pile it up on his plate without really asking me, give him more and more, even though sometimes I ask them not to, and encourage him to eat every drop. And almost cheer when he does.

So, anyway.... I guess one of my answers is to make sure he has even proportions on his plate, and not give him more of anything until he eats it all.... I can see him simply not eating when he's at home. When we are at his grandmother's house (a grandmother previously unmentioned), the rule will simply be ignored or brushed aside (by grandma).

Anyways, this turned out to be kinda rambly. I'm sorry!

I guess maybe the question is better put, do you have a picky toddler? And what creative methods do you employ to get them to eat healthy foods?

[Mere]

I have a super picky dc; he's 6 now but he's only gotten pickier as he's gotten older . He also loves sugar, packaged food, that sort of thing. The way I deal with this at home is to only have food in the fridge and pantry that is healthy. There are more than enough opportunities out there in the world for them to have treats, so he is by no means deprived. If we're out or at someone else's house, I do keep tabs on what he's eating before he is offered the inevitable dessert or processed food item, but that's about it. I figure as long as he's got some form of protein and fruit or vegetable in his system before, occasional junk food/carbs isn't going to hurt (and as long as it really is just occasional; if he was eating Doritos at Grandma's house every day something would have to change).

[cristeen]

Eggs and cheese I don't have a problem with... but I'd say it's time to set some ground rules with the family and start enforcing them. It may mean you have to be the "baddie", but ultimately it's for his health.

[bluebirdiemama]

yea I know, it's just so exhausting because I have set the ground rules, many times. They are just not respected. They keep being pushed and pushed until I feel like I have no control. Then when I decide it's time to reclaim the ground, it's the same thing over again, where everyone feels hurt, and angry at me. ... ughh..

The actually eating of junk food is under control for the most part at home. I'll buy a box of annie's graham bunnies every once in a while, and it will be the only thing he eats, until they are gone. It's not that I don't put healthy foods in front of him, and set the example mayself, but that he will refuse to eat anything when he knows treats are in the house.

idk...
and the question I have about eggs and cheese are, how much is too much?

He would eat cheesy eggs for breakfast, lunch and dinner if I let him. I know he needs more protein than maybe some kids.He has always grown fast. He turned 3 in April, and he fits into 5T on average.

So, how much of the cheesy eggs are too much?

[Alyantavid]

I think the cheesy eggs are fine daily. And if they're scrambled or in an omelette, you can add veggies too.

If there are things he likes and will eat, have them at every meal along with whatever you like. My kids get ocassional junk, but they know they can't have it unless they've had healthy food. We talk alot about food so they have a good idea of what's good and what isn't and I think having a balance between sometimes treats and healthy food works best for us.

Fruit and hard boiled eggs are huge snacks at our house.

[JamieCatheryn]

Young kids crave fat, they need it, just give good fats and it's fine - as much as they want, so long as you get a few veggies in too and they get exercise at play. Good fats include animal fats, dairy fats, olive, coconut, palm, and nut sources. Nothing too processed, vegan oils ones shouldn't have been heated much, with animal fats heating is fine. Many people, whole societies, eating healthy whole food diets and being active THRIVE with 60% of their calories from fat. That's adults and kids need fats all the more while they grow their brains. More fat and protein curbs sugar cravings too.

[livinlovinlaughin]

My DS does not eat anything processed. I strictly limit his sugar and avoid the dirty dozen at all costs. When we are away from home my husband and I make the choices for his food not grandparents aunts or uncles. They all know we are strict with his healthy food for now. I figure that they develop so much in the first 3 years that this is the most important time for controlling his diet and a great opportunity to instill good eating. There will be plenty of time he will have the option of eating junk away from home in the future. I do wonder what will happen when he sees his cousins drinking pop and eating crap all the time and begins to ask questions. I hope by then he will understand better when I explain why we eat the way we do (to fuel our bodies not because it tastes good). Hopefully I will have done a ghood enough job allowing small exposure to junk that he will choose the good stuff or not become "addicted" to junk.
My advice is that only you can take control of what they eat. It may be harsh but peopple will just have to understand if you do not allow them to feed your child junk. Maybe they will even start buying healthy treats or making something good for when your child is around.

[Ammaarah]

I think a lot of kids' palates narrow around 3 or so. It's not your fault as a mom or anything. Just keep putting delectable fruits and veggies in front of him and he'll eat some sometimes.

[2lilsweetfoxes]

Originally Posted by Ammaarah

I think a lot of kids' palates narrow around 3 or so. It's not your fault as a mom or anything. Just keep putting delectable fruits and veggies in front of him and he'll eat some sometimes.

True that.

OT, but I can see how parents get into a vicious cycle on that. Junior won't eat. Abc, but will eat xyz, so mom and dad quit offering xyz and only offer abc in the interest of not wastng food and money.

[Artichokie]

have you tried melting cheese on veggies and making oven roasted veggie fries?

[Rosehip]

Warning - a lot of people disagree with me, and I'm not looking to get into a back and forth, I'm just offering my perspective. My kids started developing food preferences during toddlerhood. But I always had the attitude that I am not responsible for making sure they love everything that's served, and I am not a short order cook. In fact, it's fine by me if they don't like some things particularly. It's fuel for their body, it's healthy, it's what I've made, it's what we're eating. There were some conflicts in the younger days, but they adapted. Now, if it's something they don't particularly care for, they'll eat just enough to satisfy their hunger. When it's a favorite, they really dig in.

[alegna]

Originally Posted by Rosehip

Warning - a lot of people disagree with me, and I'm not looking to get into a back and forth, I'm just offering my perspective. My kids started developing food preferences during toddlerhood. But I always had the attitude that I am not responsible for making sure they love everything that's served, and I am not a short order cook. In fact, it's fine by me if they don't like some things particularly. It's fuel for their body, it's healthy, it's what I've made, it's what we're eating. There were some conflicts in the younger days, but they adapted. Now, if it's something they don't particularly care for, they'll eat just enough to satisfy their hunger. When it's a favorite, they really dig in.

I think how well this works depends a lot on the personality of the kid involved. If I did this my dd would literally starve herself. There ARE kids like that... There are healthy foods she will eat, and I don't provide junk as a rule, but not all kids WILL eat things they "don't like"

My ds would do fine with that on the other hand.

-Angela

[Mere]

My ds1 will NOT eat food that he doesn't like (which is most food); he would go - and has gone - for a long time without. That said, I try not to cater to his pickiness but at the same time I do put food on the table that he will eat. For example, every night for dinner, in addition to the regular meal that I cook for the rest of us, I put out a small plate of raw vegetables, cheese cubes, and nuts. Doing that takes very little preparation, and in actuality, ALL of us end up eating it, even though ds1 was sort of the intended audience. If there is extra, I put it in a container and reserve it the next night.

Having a super picky eater is hard hard hard...there's got to be a few things that he will eat though; find them and have them around. A lot. Cheesy eggs sound have lots of protein - if he likes it, I'd go with it. Find something healthy and fulfilling that he will eat for each meal and go from there.

I agree with pps though that you HAVE to put your foot down re: the junk food. I feel strongly that if my child is only going to eat a very few foods, most of the food that goes in his mouth has to count for something.

[alegna]

Originally Posted by Mere

I agree with pps though that you HAVE to put your foot down re: the junk food. I feel strongly that if my child is only going to eat a very few foods, most of the food that goes in his mouth has to count for something.

That's central here. I can't MAKE dd eat fruits and veggies, but I can make sure that she doesn't even have one cookie if she doesn't (note- she's older, that deal didn't work until she was 4.5 or 5...)

-Angela

[organicmidwestmama]

Originally Posted by Rosehip

Warning - a lot of people disagree with me, and I'm not looking to get into a back and forth, I'm just offering my perspective. My kids started developing food preferences during toddlerhood. But I always had the attitude that I am not responsible for making sure they love everything that's served, and I am not a short order cook. In fact, it's fine by me if they don't like some things particularly. It's fuel for their body, it's healthy, it's what I've made, it's what we're eating. There were some conflicts in the younger days, but they adapted. Now, if it's something they don't particularly care for, they'll eat just enough to satisfy their hunger. When it's a favorite, they really dig in.

this seems to have become a supposedly crazy idea, that kids dont have to like everything they eat. but personally, i agree that we cannot make 5 seperate meals and we can't always, and actually shouldnt, cater to kids cravings for junk foods and sugar.

to the OP- many MDs and nutritionists are now realizing that it isnt the eggs, cheese and bacon thats hurting people and causing heart problems and weight problems and other issues, it may actually be the refined carbs and the excessive sugar that is harming us. dietary cholesterol has actually been maligned wrongly, according to newer research and common sense based on whjat humans have eaten for milenia not the past 50-100 years since the nadvent of processed food. eggs and cheese have so much wonderful nutrients, a bowl of dry cereal and skim milk (ie. what most people in popular culture seem to think is healthier) in my opinion does not. kids literally need fat in their diet every day, as they also need protien. per serving, grains and foods made with flour, do not have even a fraction of the protien that meat, eggs, cheese, and even sweet potatos have.

[my3peanuts]

I agree with putting your foot down in some arenas. Obviously you cannot force him to eat anything but in terms of eating an entire box of something... that's something you have control over. If I give my kids a box of something they'd eat way more than necessary too. I think you need to focus more on portions. Treats and such are fine, in moderation. Give him a small bowl of graham crackers or whatever the treat is and let him know when it's gone it's gone.

[JMJ]

I think there's a bit of a middle road to catering to picky toddlers. I love that my young toddler can choose between the food we serve and breast milk, so I know she won't starve. I used to work at a daycare, and one pediatrician/mom there explained that she was taught in med school that toddlers/preschoolers are fine if they get one good meal a day. I think that it's OK to tell your child "this or nothing" at a particular meal or snack as long as there are enough meals and snacks that are something that your child wants to eat.

To the OP, I'm sure the eggs/cheese thing won't last forever. I'd be careful about the sugar on it. If he eats eggs and cheese for breakfast and picks the veggies out of his omlette, refuses morning snack of fresh fruit, eats a bit of a sandwich from lunch, eats the cheese but not the veggies in afternoon snack, and then picks the eggs out of his fried rice at dinner, I just wouldn't make a big deal about it. He can either eat or leave anything that you put in front of him, but you don't have to get him something else (as long as you make sure something that he will eat comes often enough to keep him from starving).

[Storm Bride]

I'd have no problem with the eggs and cheese, even all the time. He's growing. I think he needs lots of fats and protein. I'd have a problem with the sugar, and just wouldn't have it around. If the grandparents won't respect your rules, then I think it's time to give a warning, and then just leave if they won't respect your rules (this does depend, somewhat, on how often he eats in their homes). I have disordered eating, and it traces directly back to my grandmother and her crap about feeding us stuff mom didn't want us eating - particularly not in those quantities - and then getting us to lie about it. This has had lifelong ramifications for my health. While I know grandparents want parents to loosen up a little, and I can even see that to some extent (eg. some things are allowed at grandma's that aren't allowed at home), there's a line that shouldn't be crossed, imo. That line, in rough terms, is when grandparents are teaching children that a parent's rules - put in place for the sake of the child's health - are something detrimental and that's it's okay/preferable to "get around" them. Uncool.

Other than that...keep offering the fruits and veggies. My dd1 has been the pickiest eater since she was a toddler. She's gradually trying and eating more foods as time goes on. I just keep offering them...and if she shows any interest in trying something new while we're out shopping, I get it, even if it's something I don't know how to prepare, or that I personally dislike.

Hang in there, mama.

[EdnaMarie]

I agree that tastes narrow at this age. I know my child's did and we do not have a history of junk-food eating in our families.

To me, junk food is highly processed. Real cheese (no preservatives or dyes), real bread (flour, water, salt, maybe some oil, yeast or leaven), real butter, real eggs, are not junk food. They are not the end of a good diet but they can be the start of one.

Sugar, on the other hand, is junk food.

My rule is such: you eat what we all eat. Bread is always on the table and you can have butter on your bread at breakfast, not at other meals. You have a glass of milk, one serving, at each meal. We do NOT have junk in the house. To me that's just not an option, just like watching a TV show in the middle of the night is not an option.

(I eat a few chocolate chips after they go to bed. They don't know they're here.)

Dessert is fruits.

So my child gets offered fruits and veggies throughout the day, with good meats. If she doesn't eat them, her loss. She can go a whole week! But she does eat fruits. I know that if she's not filling up on other foods, she'll get what she needs.

Good luck. I was so disappointed when my good eater went through the three-year-food-refusal. I still am!