Did anybody have a husband that didn't really care? - Page 2

[laughymama]

DH was like me with our first. Everyone did it and we didn't know that people opted out. It was treated as such a blase, run of the mill, routine thing that we didn't know it was an actual issue until much later.

I came here, read about it. Did tons of research, watched Penn and Teller and then I talked to DH about it in passing but didn't get too in depth. At the time he shrugged and said, "Okay, whatever you think is best." It was a non-issue with him.
Later, I showed him articles and told him more details and that kind of turned him from "whatever you say" to "Yeah, no more cutting babies."

After that he became anti-circ but he's not "passionate" about it. He's rarely as intense as I am though...His stance is more like, "That's dumb. Listen to common sense and read the facts. Useless surgery on babies makes no sense." And he'll always deliver a line like that with a laid back shrug.

[rhiOrion]

my dh and i are exactly like the OP. i was against it and he never argued, but i can tell he doesn't really care. i was (am) so upset when my sister said they were going to circ, and i could tell he didn't quite get my frustration.

we ended up with a girl and a moot point- for now.

[erin23kate]

My husband didn't really care one way or another.... until he watched the Penn & Teller episode and then went on youtube. He then graduated to the "wow, this is terrible and barbaric" stage.

When our son was born he went full-on intactivist. The combination of the video and picturing HIS baby boy strapped to that board was visceral enough to push him over into "MGM, not circ".

[poppan]

My husband is intact and while he doesn't feel circumcision is necessary, I wonder if he would have put up a fight (ie did he really CARE?) if I had been pro-circ. In any case neither of us even considered circumsizing DS so it was a non-issue.

[SeekingJoy]

DH is circed, and although he would rather have not been, isn't anywhere near as passionate about it as I am. Circing DS was never on the table.

[St. Margaret]

My DH said we'd be doing it, before I knew one way or another anything about it (and neither did he, really!). I read more and more about it (here! thanks!) and got worried b/c I knew I wasn't having it, and I had to talk him around. Got all ready for it, brought it up, and the convo lasted about three sentences. He was like, oh yeah, we're not doing that. So I guess that falls in the not stridently for/against camps!

[lilliansmom]

My hubby didn't care. I will say normally I get 75% of the say when it comes to the kids. I told him what I found and he was cool with no circ. I had my augment all prepared to. I was going to start with loss of sexual sensation (I would think all Dads would be against that). My DH did say he was pretty sure they did not need to "match". After the birth of DS my Doctor asked what we decided and I said no circ thanks and my Doctor said "Good call it is purely ascetic" My husband was completely won over at that point.

[dancindoula]

Originally Posted by laughymama

DH was like me with our first. Everyone did it and we didn't know that people opted out. It was treated as such a blase, run of the mill, routine thing that we didn't know it was an actual issue until much later.

I came here, read about it. Did tons of research, watched Penn and Teller and then I talked to DH about it in passing but didn't get too in depth. At the time he shrugged and said, "Okay, whatever you think is best." It was a non-issue with him.
Later, I showed him articles and told him more details and that kind of turned him from "whatever you say" to "Yeah, no more cutting babies."

After that he became anti-circ but he's not "passionate" about it. He's rarely as intense as I am though...His stance is more like, "That's dumb. Listen to common sense and read the facts. Useless surgery on babies makes no sense." And he'll always deliver a line like that with a laid back shrug.

This is basically how it is with my DH and me. And in the end it was my best friend who unwittingly had convinced him for me. Since we were in the early stages of TTC I had been waiting for the best opening to bring up the subject (expecting it to be a big deal). She was visiting with her 6mo son and changed his diaper in front of DH. He surprised both of us by asking why the baby looked different and she told him. He asked a couple more questions about care and such, which she answered with perfect nonchalance and included the fact that her DH was intact. That was that - he needed no more convincing.

[Mama2Kayla]

No fight here either. I found out about circ when dd was a baby(thanks MDC!). I told him about it later that day and said no son of ours would ever have it done. He said the usual lines like wanting to match, it's gross, that's just what you do with a boy, but it totally wasn't a big deal to him. I showed him a few pics, explained what happens and debunked those myths and he was onboard 100%.

He isn't a big intactivist. But something changed when ds was born and now, if the subject is brought up, he will speak out against circ. It took him years to get to that place and I am proud of him for it

[loudmama]

I told my DH when I was pregnant with DD that if we were having a boy I will not have him circumcised. He was like, ok. Not sure he thought much about it until then. But didn't raise any objections.

L

[KMK_Mama]

Originally Posted by 2boyzmama

When we found our our first was a boy, I said "well, now we have to talk about circumcision." His first response was "What do you mean talk about it, isn't it just...done?" I told him that no, it's actually our decision, and I had just started reading about it, and I was surprised at what I found. I started to tell him about how it's purely a cultural or religious thing, not medical at all, then I started to describe HOW it was done. He interrupted me and said "Okay, whatever you want honey, you're the researcher!"

That's pretty much EXACTLY how it went at our house too! Him getting upset and wishing his had never been taken came later.

[PoetryLover]

My husband initially wanted our son circumcised because he wanted our son to look like him, because he felt that if he didn't circumcise our son he would in some way be criticizing his mother's choice to have him circumcised, etc. I was adamantly opposed to circumcision, but I told him to do some research and come back to me to talk. He did a little research, watched an online documentary and within hours was back to talk--and on my side. So it wasn't that he didn't care. He was just surprisingly easy to convince after seeing the facts.

[Addie]

Not circing was a decision we came to together, and neither of us were ever in the position of trying to convince the other. DH is circed, and circing has been the norm in his family of origin. But we talked to other people, did some research, and that was that. It was one of the easiest parenting decisions we've made!

[mambera]

I think the only time it ever came up was actually the first time I saw DH naked. I was a bit horrified at the circ and said something offensive like, "Oh, they did *that* to you?!" He was like, shrug, I don't remember. No opinion really.

We don't have a boy so we've never had another discussion. But at this point I know there is no way he would ever choose to circ a child.