Were you scared?

[babycatcher12]

So I just started my 3rd trimester. I am planning a HBA3C for this baby. I am and have been excited this whole pregnancy about the prospect of laboring and giving birth naturally.
In the last couple of days I have been getting more scared. Not about the catastrophic stuff that everyone tries to scare you with, but scared that I won't be able to handle the labor itself. What if I'm really a wimp? What if I can't handle it and I have to transfer? (Which I really don't want to do).
I am practicing hypnobabies, which I really enjoy, but deep down I'm really afraid that I just don't have it in me. I'm trying to have faith in my body but I have been told for so long that it's broken it's hard to get rid of that belief.
I've read lots of stories of HBACs, watched lots of youtube, read Ina May, Mother's Intention and several others. Eventhough this is my 4th baby I feel like this is my first pregnancy because I'm planning to labor. Please tell me this is normal. How did you deal with it?

[cairomama]

I wasn't scared of birth or disaster in birth, but I was afraid my baby would stay breech. Breech was the reason for c/s #1 and my VBAC baby was breech as well. I think I wasn't afraid of birth because I had a scheduled c-section with my first. I had an ECV with my second and that worked and then a great, easy Hypnobabies hospital VBAC.

Many people do have fears or doubts. Just keep reading positive things like you are doing and PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE your Hypnobabies. If you practice it and then choose to use it, it really does work. Things are still intense, but very manageable. You can do it. If every time you feel afraid you channel your worry into practice time, you will be very well-prepared and will increase your confidence.

[seim.ge]

I'm way more scared about going through labor a 2nd time than I was with the first. All I can say is listen to yourself; only you know what's right for you, and only you can make it happen. I wish I'd taken my own doubts and fears more seriously the first time around...I blew it all off as being "cold feet", but I could've had a way better experience if I'd explored those feelings and made the necessary changes to my birth plan/birthing team.

[liberal_chick]

Yes, I was scared. But quite honestly, once everything got going my fear disappeared and I just got to work.

I worried about not being able to handle labor as well (my c-section was planned, so I'd never experienced labor before), but with the way labor progressed it was totally managable. I won't say it didn't hurt, but I knew I could do it.

[CherryBomb]

I wasn't really scared of the pain of labor before hand, but once I was at the end all I could think was "whyyyyy did I do this? I'm never doing this again!!!" It was pretty intense and painful and that feeling stuck with me for a few days. But I'm pregnant again and not planning on having an epidural, so obviously the feeling faded.

I was pretty concerned about something going wrong, though. Dd2 had a massive stroke in utero and is permantely disabled, so I was very scared of something like that happening again.

[MNHall]

I remember being like that a lot with my VBAC baby too. For me it wasn't just the "can I handle the pain part", but also the VBAC part, the lack of community support, fearful of when I'd go into labor and so on.

Each time too much doubt came into my head, I needed to bring myself back to a peaceful and confident place and I'd do that through things like reading Ina May's book or chatting on here, basically any positive birth story that reminded me that if all of these women could do it, I could too! Reminding myself that my body was designed to birth babies and that's exactly how I would use it. Remembering that pain associated with labor is pain that has a purpose. Totally different than unidentified pain that knocks you over when you have no clue why you hurt. Labor pains are dilating you, effacing you, bringing the baby down, bringing the baby out....those pains are with purpose and I would have to remind myself of all of this any time too much doubt came into my head!

As far as the labor pains, you ARE preparing and that's a huge deal. You aren't going into this blind saying, we'll just see how things go. You are preparing and learning coping skills to use when labor day comes. It would be different if you were just saying, yes, I plan a HBAC, I'll deal with it when it comes!

You are doing the prep you need to make it everything you can come time!

[MNHall]

Originally Posted by liberal_chick

Yes, I was scared. But quite honestly, once everything got going my fear disappeared and I just got to work.

I worried about not being able to handle labor as well (my c-section was planned, so I'd never experienced labor before), but with the way labor progressed it was totally managable. I won't say it didn't hurt, but I knew I could do it.

I totally agree with all of this! The day I went into labor, fear went out the door and my focus was dealing with what was going on then and there, time to focus, time to labor, time to get the baby out!

[babycatcher12]

Thank you ladies!
I think a lot of my fear comes from the fact that I was induced with my first at 37 weeks. I did it without an epidural until it was time for my c/s. I remember very vividly how horrible that induction pain felt, how the pitocin slammed him against my cervix and how having my water broke at 2cm was awful. (Which is why I'm planning a HB this time).

I don't plan (obviously) any of those interventions this time. I guess I'm afraid of failure. My extended family isn't totally supportive and would love to say "I told you so" both of my SIL are perfectly content to have RCS and I feel like are secretly hoping I don't have a successful VBAC.

I'm looking forward to when I go into labor because I think I'll be able to focus on what's going on and not the "what ifs".

Thanks for the encouragement and feedback!

[MNHall]

My first (my c/s) was also induced and while I wasn't planning his birth to be natural, at the time I was "all about the epi", the induction contractions with my water broken were soooo intense. I think the biggest thing I felt like knocked me down was i wasn't feeling anything, even with the highest dosages of pit...broke my water and BAM!!!! The highest dose of pit, plus broken water, my very next contraction threw me off the bed!!!

With DD, my VBAC, my labor progressed naturally, at it's own pace, my water broke when it was ready and I was able to ease into things. Granted, things went pretty fast, so there wasn't a WHOLE lot of "easing into it"...but, things progressed at natures pace, not medicine's pace.

So, with you, remembering those contractions being induced, just know that it's not necessarily going to be like that. I know every woman is different, but just to hear my experience, induction with pit and going on my own was amazingly different!!!!