Can someone explain the difference...

[AFWife]

Between Potty Learning and Potty Training?

I know it probably "should" seem cut and dry...but I'm a bit confused. I see a lot of people commenting that their child isn't "learned" yet.

I was just wondering what YOU consider the difference? Or if it's just a difference in terms.

[KimberlyD0]

Its exactly the same in everything but name in my opinion.

[staceychev]

It's mostly semantics, but the semantics stem from intention.

My take: potty learning implies a child-led process, while potty training is parent-led.

[mama1803]

Originally Posted by AFWife

Between Potty Learning and Potty Training?

I know it probably "should" seem cut and dry...but I'm a bit confused. I see a lot of people commenting that their child isn't "learned" yet.

I was just wondering what YOU consider the difference? Or if it's just a difference in terms.

Personally, I don't believe in potty training. Sure, I can explain what the toilet is for to my child and let them see me using it. But learning to use the potty is also about the child recognizing the urge to go and being able to determine how long they can "hold it". IMO those are things you can't teach or force.

I think the difference in terms is that potty training assumes that a parent can train a child to use the toilet on the parent's timetable without regard to whether the child has the ability to recognize or control their urges and potty learning is letting the child determine and demonstrate when they are ready.

[rubidoux]

I thought it was just a more respectful term for the same thing. At least we're not house breaking them.

[Drummer's Wife]

I think the biggest difference is just in the name. . It just sounds less demeaning, I guess (IMO). It was over a decade ago when I was taking my 0-3 Montessori training that I first heard the term (though it was toilet learning, b.c potty wasn't the most accurate word), and it was almost like a respect thing, b/c everything else I learned about young children was about following their lead, and letting them do things at their own pace - with the adults acting as a guide.

Anyhow, to me, the process of toilet learning may consist of providing the tools - a small potty or stool to reach the real toilet, access to clean underwear, and an adult who gently reminds the child that pee and poop goes in the toilet - along with offering the opportunity to sit on it (especially after wetting), and assisting the child with changing themself. This is how we did it in the toddler classrooms I worked in, as well as how it went with my first child - who was completely out of diapers, day and night, at 24 months. It was truly effortless and gentle. Such a breeze. (now, I had 3 boys after DD and my experience and approach was not the same. .)

Potty training, to me, brings up images of adults using coercive methods, bribes, timers, etc, maybe a struggle and frustration - even though I know not everyone goes this route and may still use the term potty training. Which is why I think the biggest thing is just the semantics of the name used.

[eclipse]

I just don't like the word "training" when it comes to parenting.

[mamadelbosque]

It is, in general, IMO the same thing. Some people just don't like the word 'training' or 'toilet' so they use 'toilet learning' or 'potty learning' or whatever... Semantics.

[JL83]

I think there's a difference.

But we potty trained our kids. It was mostly parent led/done because we trained them early (by 16/18 months). There wasn't any "learning" because it just was something they did.

[ssh]

We bought a potty and one of those padded ring things for the toilet seat. DD liked taking the potty apart and putting it back together. At about 3.5 she asked for the ring seat thing and starting using the toilet. We had told her what the toilet was for. Let her watch us, and provided panties from about age 2. There was no 'training' at all. Potty training at least involves trying to get your child to use a potty. Learning things is often spontaneous.

[eclipse]

See, I don't think people who try to get their kids to use the toilet are "training" their kids either - I think, if it's done gently, it's still a teaching/learning dynamic.

[St. Margaret]

I've seen a LOT of parents using candy to get their kids to sit on the potty, shaming, etc. That's potty training to me. I also like how potty learning sounds more respectful of the child. Potty teaching is cool, too. But just like with anything, it's all about the actual learning!

[JL83]

Originally Posted by St. Margaret

I've seen a LOT of parents using candy to get their kids to sit on the potty, shaming, etc. That's potty training to me. I also like how potty learning sounds more respectful of the child. Potty teaching is cool, too. But just like with anything, it's all about the actual learning!

I don't think it's fair to list candy and shaming in the same sentence.

We used candy. It was a very easy way to eliminate any fights or power struggles about using the potty. It was basically the opposite of shaming.

[THBVsMommy]

Originally Posted by staceychev

It's mostly semantics, but the semantics stem from intention.

My take: potty learning implies a child-led process, while potty training is parent-led.

Originally Posted by eclipse

I just don't like the word "training" when it comes to parenting.

[JL83]

Originally Posted by eclipse

I just don't like the word "training" when it comes to parenting.

What about the word "training" with respect to marathons? It's just a word.

[aeiou]

Originally Posted by JL83

What about the word "training" with respect to marathons? It's just a word.

With marathons, you are training yourself as opposed to someone training you. You wouldn't say that someone was training you for a marathon, you'd say, "I'm training."
I don't remember where I read it, but someone compared learning to use the toilet to learning to talk. You don't "train" your child to talk, they just learn. You help them and provide ways for them to practice or learn more, but you aren't specifically using rewards or punishments or what have you to get them to speak. The same, to me, is what potty learning is, that they are given opportunities to figure it out for themselves.

[JL83]

Originally Posted by aeiou

With marathons, you are training yourself as opposed to someone training you. You wouldn't say that someone was training you for a marathon, you'd say, "I'm training."
I don't remember where I read it, but someone compared learning to use the toilet to learning to talk. You don't "train" your child to talk, they just learn. You help them and provide ways for them to practice or learn more, but you aren't specifically using rewards or punishments or what have you to get them to speak. The same, to me, is what potty learning is, that they are given opportunities to figure it out for themselves.

I agree with you about what "potty learning" means. And we did not do that. We trained our kids to use the toilet. I'm not ashamed of that. We used rewards to speed the process up.

I don't like the idea of diapers, and full time EC didn't fit into our lifestyle. So, in order to get rid of diapers as soon as possible (by 18 months with the latest kid) we trained them.

[ananas]

Originally Posted by staceychev

It's mostly semantics, but the semantics stem from intention.

My take: potty learning implies a child-led process, while potty training is parent-led.

I think basically the same thing.

[eclipse]

Originally Posted by JL83

I agree with you about what "potty learning" means. And we did not do that. We trained our kids to use the toilet. I'm not ashamed of that. We used rewards to speed the process up.

I don't like the idea of diapers, and full time EC didn't fit into our lifestyle. So, in order to get rid of diapers as soon as possible (by 18 months with the latest kid) we trained them.

While I don't really care what people call it, or how or when people's kids learn to be independant on the toilet (assuming kids aren't getting hit or shamed - I think candy is a perfectly valid method of positive reinforcement, myself ), I think it's weird that "potty training" is part of the (collective) vocabulary. If I teach my kids to read, I'm not "literacy training" them, you know? I'm just teaching them to read. In any case, I don't place a value judgement on whether some calls it potty learning/teaching, potty training, or solid and liquid waste removal education - no big deal to me. Potty learning is the term I prefer to use because it's more comfortable to me. I'd suspect that if you compared how I taught my oldest son to use the toilet at 3.5 to how you taught your toddlers to use it. . .well, I bet more people would call what I did training than what you did . As others have said, it's a semantic difference.

[Tigerchild]

I don't think there is a difference.

I think some people are used to one term over the other, feel superior using one term over another, or just plain old LIKE one term better than the other.

But to be blunt, it's not like people who say they do "potty learning" have cornered the market on waiting until their child is ready to learn--that's the conventional wisdom for "potty trainers" as well.

Use whatever term you like.