A few questions about ECing a NB

[jenrett]

I didn't want to hijack sgmom's thread "from birth?!?" so I thought I would just start my own with a couple of questions.

I decided today that DS and I would hang out in bed and nurse/nap and I would try to have him diaper free. He seemed to hate it. I did catch a pee! Except I thought he was going to poop So, I was a bit off. But, I realized that I can tell when he is going to poop (so I thought - and usually I am correct if I think he is going to poop, he does), but i can't tell when he is going to pee, or if he has a diaper on, when he has peed.

So I was holding him with just a prefold under his bum, but he just didn't seem comfy. Also when I went to hold him over the bowl while nursing, he seemed fine at first but then hated it. I can't figure out how to hold him over a bowl comfortably while nursing - and he is only 8 pounds!!! It just seems like his head is WAY out of alignment with his body, and he seems vulnerable.

So, I need some alternatives. What should I do?

1. Is it effective to hang out in a dipe with no cover so that hopefully I can tell when he pees and learn his cues?
2. When I notice him pooping in his dipe (or if I happen to catch a poop!), should I do anything to cue him, verbally or otherwise, or is cueing him something I should just do with pees?
3. Any tips to get Dads involved? DS only poos when bfing, and of course DH doesn't get to experience that. He says he still can't tell when DS has to go (though DS is only 1 week old, so it's not like he should have it dialed by now!!!)
4. Any tips for holding that darn bowl under his bum while BFing, or is there something else I can do that is also effective?

Thanks in advance!

[sgmom]

You can totally hijack my thread! I don't mind.

I've caught a few pees and 1 poop (more in the diaper) in the potty. I havn't really been working on EC at all (because it's so painful for me to move)... I just look for fussiness, and offer during these times, as well as during diaper changes, immediately upon waking or after a meal (if I can). Or if I catch him in a poop (he's obvious) when wearing a diaper, I cue it.

I use the insert from the BBPC, or hover him over the sink (awkward). It isn't easy at all to hold him like that, but i just sort of aim down and let his upper body flop sideways onto my forearm.

My partner got more involved with our daughter when she started to pee upon sitting or on cue (she used to sit like it was a chair, but not do anything), so I imagine this one would be similar. He hasn't said anything but I get the feeling that he thinks it's a bit silly to EC a baby so young, but once he starts to potty on cue and we start saving diapers, I know he'll become more involved. I'm not too worried, as this is something *I* want to do, so I don't expect him to share that responsibility. It's easier for me anyway, since we're always attached at the boob...

I do want to know though, HOW DO you do diaper free with a boy?? I've tried it, and it's pretty scary...

[momme2b]

I have used BBLittle Potty and BB potty chair insert with a newborn! Little potty goes across one leg baby gets upper body and head cradled in one arm with weight resting on potty. Insert gets stuck between my legs and baby sits/ reclines on it and my stomach, this way head is always supported. It can help too to hold under each thigh with either recepticle between your knees, but still have baby resting on your chest/ belly. Experiment until you find something comfortable for you and baby. Also remember even if you dont 'catch' you are communicating!
As for dads, it greatly depends on their time with baby... at this point I would simply ask him to try the baby when you think he might need to go! as the baby gets more consistent with timing or cues dad will begin to know without your involvement, but if you know then get him involved by asking him to give it a try. After a few successes I found my husband would try sometimes just because... and baby would go because he now knew what that pot was for! But even if dad doesnt help much w/ a newborn, by the time he can hold his head up he will be sticking him on the potty sometimes.. even if just to avoid a poop to change.
With a boy for 'nakey time' I would usually opt to skip dipes but snap on a onesie or put on some elastic waist sweats... if you arent scared of a little pee on you, you can then hold him like this and know immediately when he begins to go (cue) and then make any mental notes about time and body language as you change his clothes and get a new shirt for you. the one layer keeps and potentil sideways streaming going in a generally downward direction. Plus side to this is, sweats are easy to get off for offering too! and really, if you have laundry to do it might as well be a big load.. and you can fit quite a few baby things in one load.
Good luck and have fun.

[jenrett]

sgmom - awww, thanks Oh, btw, I went back and re-read your first post, and our boys don't share a birthday. Mine was born Saturday morning, and when I read yours for some reason I was thinking your boy was born right before midnight on Saturday night (Sunday morning). Oh well....still very cool!

How do you cue the poop?

I think DH will get better with time, I think you ladies are right. I mean, he can tell when his dog has to go out, and I think she's nearly impossible to read, but he's had her for 8 years and me for only 4 Bad analogy, maybe, because our son is not like a dog, but I think that whole "intuition" thing is actually the same...I know he does think that DS doesn't understand when he has to pee/poo, but I also know he loves the idea of being diaper free ASAP!!! He is really sensitive so I'm sure he'll come around before too long.

Momme2b - thanks for the suggestions! I've actually been meaning to ask about which potties to get, and I think I will get the two you suggested. One problem though, with holding him kind of half "seated" on the potty during bf is that my DS starts crying when you are offering the potty (now just a plastic bowl) and you touch his body to the potty. Maybe he will get over it - it really only has been a couple of times.

I really like the idea of sweats or a onsie for little boys....now off to find some itty bitty sweats

[sapphire_chan]

re: poop cue, someone pointed out that babies can blow raspberries pretty early.

I thought I was being clever with imitating the noise dd makes while pooping, but she stopped making that grunt LONG before she had any clue about deliberate communication.

[zoebird]

1. Is it effective to hang out in a dipe with no cover so that hopefully I can tell when he pees and learn his cues?


i did this. i would just use a little belt and begin to watch closely. didn't take long to learn when he would go.

essentially, as soon as he woke up, he would go. in those early days, if he was awake for an hour or two, i would offer every 30 minutes or so, and he would usually go. i would also offer it whenever he would fuss, just before nursing which would usually put him to sleep!

2. When I notice him pooping in his dipe (or if I happen to catch a poop!), should I do anything to cue him, verbally or otherwise, or is cueing him something I should just do with pees?

we used "tssss" sound for both. we would signal whenever we held him over the sink/bowl/toilet, whether or not he went, and whenever we would half catch and such.

3. Any tips to get Dads involved? DS only poos when bfing, and of course DH doesn't get to experience that. He says he still can't tell when DS has to go (though DS is only 1 week old, so it's not like he should have it dialed by now!!!)


DS peed every time he woke up. so--day or night--if DS woke up, i would have DH potty him.

now, funny story. of course in those early days, you are exhausted and quite "cloudy" in mind. DH was getting up for night-time potty. one night--perhaps in that second week--he wakes up and doens't get DS over the potty fast enough. DS wets his diaper (cloth) and decides to give a very vocal opinion on the matter.

he then starts kicking his legs.

the whole time, DH is trying to put one of DS's socks on his little foot. DS woke, and i woke DH. DH looks at the baby and notices his sock fell off. thinks to put the sock on before pottying, and of course the baby goes in the diaper, starts screaming and kicking his feet, so DH can't get the sock on. and i finally go 'what are you doing?" and he goes "trying to get his sock back on!" and i'm like 'that's a tertiary concern right now!"

he then wakes up enough to change the diaper and hand the baby back to me, who then nurses and falls back asleep, and we put his sock back on. LOL

4. Any tips for holding that darn bowl under his bum while BFing, or is there something else I can do that is also effective?

i never did this. DS doesn't go while BFing, so it's never been an issue. i would potty hiim before or after.

[InMediasRes]

We did the potty a little differently at first since DD didn't seem to want the pressure on her tummy from being held in basic position. I would make a cradle with my forearms and hold her head between my elbows with her little feet up in the air. Then I started reclining on my legs with the potty bowl (we just used a pyrex bowl for a while) on the floor under her butt.

Just realized that that tactic might not work for a boy... But you might be able to modify it so his head feels more supported.

Dad didn't really get involved with EC until about 3 months. Before that, DD would scream if he tried to take her potty. He still is not great about reading her cues, but he's really on board and she'll go for him if I ask him to take her.

And for poop, we used the raspberry cue for a while, but usually she would just poop during a pee time if she needed to, so they ended up being mostly the same cue.

[pixiepunk]

1. Is it effective to hang out in a dipe with no cover so that hopefully I can tell when he pees and learn his cues?
definitely. the thing i've observed about newborns, though, is that any change from what they're used to can be a little disruptive (lots of babies fuss when changing clothes or dipes). so it might just be that he needs a little time to adjust. so it might be worth trying a few more times. but if he doesn't like it, skip it for now.
2. When I notice him pooping in his dipe (or if I happen to catch a poop!), should I do anything to cue him, verbally or otherwise, or is cueing him something I should just do with pees?
i cued for both pees and poos. in the beginning they often came together so i just did the same cue. later i did a little grunt because she seemed to respond better to that.
3. Any tips to get Dads involved? DS only poos when bfing, and of course DH doesn't get to experience that. He says he still can't tell when DS has to go (though DS is only 1 week old, so it's not like he should have it dialed by now!!!)
for us, DH naturally got more involved when the baby got to the point where she didn't need mama every moment of the day. until then i just talked about it with him, and he watched us and got the hang of it from that angle, and then picked up doing it when he was more in the habit of holding her and being with her for longer periods of time. there was a transition period where he'd holler for me "i think she needs to nurse!" and I'd holler back "try her on the potty first, if that's not it, i'll nurse her" and in that way he started being able to distinguish the potty fuss from the hungry fuss.
4. Any tips for holding that darn bowl under his bum while BFing, or is there something else I can do that is also effective?
my LO didn't like to nurse when she had to pee or poo (popping off the breast was a major sign for her). but i would probably just have a loose prefold on and not worry with the potty until he's a little less floppy, just focus on the cuing.

when DD2 was a newborn, i modified the classic EC position, cradling her in the crook of my arm more than straight against my back, and holding her under her thighs. that seemed to work well until she was a bit less floppy, at which point we transitioned to the classic hold. between EC'ing and babywearing she got head control very quickly so it wasn't too long. when they are tiny things change so quickly - just when you think you have it all figured out, it changes but that's part of the fun

[jenrett]

wow, lots of good tips and advice! Right now I am sitting with DS, I was nursing him but now he is sleeping, and he's just in a prefold so I can hopefully start to learn when he pees. DH and I talked earlier about how to cue him when he poops, because I want to have something consistent. DS seems to poop and THEN pee - like often, he will poop, so I'll change his dipe right away, and that's when I'll get sprayed on the changing table.

Thanks for all the advice. I'll take more, if anyone has any, and we'll see how this goes I think just hanging out with no dipe cover on should be a great start.

[jenrett]

i caught a poo and pee! he seemed fussy but not hungry, and had just woken up from a nap, so i offered and he went! how awesome!

[zoebird]

yeah, it's cool!

you'll see over the next few weeks that he'll tend to poop at the same times each day. hawk did a morning and an evening. then it was just pees in between. made it super easy to catch.

now he goes once a day in the morning, usually between 7 am and 9 am. so i watch closely during that time. he doesn't always signal, but he'll usually pat his backside before he needs to go.

[hrsmom]

Originally Posted by jenrett

i caught a poo and pee! he seemed fussy but not hungry, and had just woken up from a nap, so i offered and he went! how awesome!

After-nap catches are generally the most reliable! At least for us that has been the case!

I remember one time talking to my dad on the phone, and my dd was starting to stir from her nap. I said I had to go, and he was like, you don't have to be there the second she wakes up. Well, I wanted to be there when she woke up because I wanted to be there when she woke up... AND I wanted to catch the after-nap pee!!!

[jenrett]

Yes, I have had very good results with the after-nap catches, as well as during-bf catches. I'm getting the hang of holding DS over the bowl, too. Today we've had a couple of nap-wake up-catch a poo/pee-nurse and catch another poo/pee - go happily back to sleep cycles Very fun stuff