Please help me explain why this isn't a great idea...

[boysmom2]

So, I'm trying to convince DH to give hsing a try in the fall. We'll have a 3rd grader and K and a toddler. He has said that he would feel better about making a decision if we could have a trial run week of hsing during the summer, to see how it goes.

Now, I can completely understand why he would want this. Right now, homework time with our 8yo ds is a nightmare. I'm sure DH has doubts about my ability to get him to do his work. DS is fine at school and saves all his unpleasant behavior for home. DH has said that he worries that ds needs a teacher to keep him on task.

Also, DH has done exactly zero research about hsing. His weird aunt hsed for a while and one of his co-workers' children are hs and he thinks they are odd. He doesn't have good examples of hs children or what hsing is like.

I feel like this 1 week trial is a bad idea, but I'm having trouble explaining it. For one, I can't see convincing our boys to give up a week of summer vacation to do schoolwork. I don't want to tell them that hsing is an option until DH and I have decided it is, so DH said we could just tell them that the school is requiring this extra week of homework in the summer. I just don't see it as being representative of what hsing would really be like. Also, I feel like I'm going to need a little time to find our hsing groove. I don't plan on spinning our wheels for all of September, but I don't know that day one will be exactly perfect.

I have not totally figured out exactly what I want to do, but I think I'm in the middle of the continuum between "school-at-home" and unschooling. My children's abilities are all over the place, so I will not be using prepackaged curriculum. I feel like we will need a little time to figure it all out as we go.

So, thoughts? I REALLY want to do this, and I really want DH on board as much as possible. Also, can anyone recommend a good hsing book for DH to read? Ideally not too long and not too radical. He's pretty mainstream, but tolerates my crazy hippy tendencies pretty well.

Thanks!

[SundayCrepes]

I don't have an answer to your question. I think a trial week is not enough time to figure out what you are going to do. Maybe figure out what you want to do then discuss it further with your husband.

Here's an article on homeschooling and socialization: http://learninfreedom.org/socialization.html

We are on the unschooling spectrum. These are some of the resources I will be using (my kids are 4.5 and 22 months.)

http://www.fun-books.com/books/livin...ing_guides.htm
As the website states: These guides are put together by Nancy Plent, founder of the Unschoolers Network in New Jersey and a long-time homeschooler. She reviewed the scope and sequence charts and curriculum guides of dozens of schools in various states, then combined the highest standards of elements from each to create these guides. Why purchase these curriculum guides? 1) They may help you to fulfill your state's legal requirement to provide an educational plan 2) They allow you to see some of the highest standards for schools at various grade levels, just in case you are curious about what the schools expect or are anxious about what you are doing 3) They provide record-keeping space that can help organize a portfolio.

Besides providing a checklist under each subject, Nancy offers suggestions on how to translate real-life experience into curricula goals. She also lists resources from a variety of companies.

http://www.sonlight.com/ They use good books to teach. Sit down with your kids, snuggle on the couch, read interesting books, and learn. You can just get the list, choose the books you want, and get them from the library. They are religious, but many secular people use them. Here's a group for secular users. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Sonlig...guid=156716553 (Search this forum for more ideas on using sonlight.)

This is put on by discovery channel http://www.cosmeo.com/welcome/what.html They have the educational standards for each state with links to videos/interactives. If you want to sort of follow what your state is doing, you can use these.

This is just a fun little site:
www.thehappyscientist.com--they'll email you an experiment to do each week or you can sign up for their list of experiments.

[eclipse]

Originally Posted by boysmom2

I feel like this 1 week trial is a bad idea, but I'm having trouble explaining it. For one, I can't see convincing our boys to give up a week of summer vacation to do schoolwork. I don't want to tell them that hsing is an option until DH and I have decided it is, so DH said we could just tell them that the school is requiring this extra week of homework in the summer. I just don't see it as being representative of what hsing would really be like. Also, I feel like I'm going to need a little time to find our hsing groove. I don't plan on spinning our wheels for all of September, but I don't know that day one will be exactly perfect.

I think this is a great explanation of why it would be problematic.

However, maybe you can come up with some non-schooly, fun learning experiences and put a bunch of them in a week. Do you have a zoo membership? Cool museums nearby? Are there any homeschool groups that meat in your area? Think about the kinds of things you want to be doing with your kids while homeschooling - I doubt you're going to have them sitting at a table doing "work" six hours a day, and it seems like that might be what your husband has in mind. I think you need to get through to him that homeschooling is not "school at home" for most people.

[kathymuggle]

One week is nowhere near enough time to tell whether something this large is going to work for your family.

Your DH is concerned because he see you struggling with homework, and is afraid the whole thing will be one long struggle. But the thing is - he is applying school issues to a home situation, and it is not relevant.

Ex: your teacher wants him to learn his multiplication tables. The teacher send home worksheets, which your son does not want to do, and you have a power struggle on your hands.

In a home schooling situation, the situation is quite different.

First you have to decide if multiplication tables need to be learned, and if they need to be learned now.

Then you can move onto strategies. You can play games, use manipulative, do some internet games, etc. You never have to do a worksheet again if you do not want to

The end result is much the same, but getting there is so much more relevant (and likely to stick) and pleasant.

As per the question on what to say to DH:

1. One week is nowhere near enough to determine if it will work

2. summer is a really lousy time to do it. There is a good possibility other kids will be outside playing, and he might resent the infringement on his vacation

3. If you have determined after months that it isn't working, it will take, oh, about 5 minutes to register the kids in school. It does not have to be a permanenet decision.

I would spend the summer relaxing, researching big concepts and ideas (as well as free resources) and researching homeschooling groups in your area. If there are none, you might want to look into classes/sports, boy scouts, etc as social opportunities are important.

Good luck!

Kathy

[Grace and Granola]

My kids are younger and we are just starting out, but we are also getting our feet wet with homeschooling this summer. That's where I'm coming from. So, FWIW....I agree it's a bad idea. BUT, if it's going to take this to get your dh to even consider homeschooling here's what I would do.

Do NOT tell your kids, especially the older that has the trouble with homework that this is going to be "school." That right there could shut down any enthusiasm you want to bring.

Since it is only June right now, give yourself a month or so to do your research and sort of get your thoughts together of what your "style" will look like.

After that, I would put together something like a "theme week." Think of a topic that your older kids are interested in and go with that. Plan a week's worth of ideas that center around that topic, like a unit study. So, if it's animals, plan a trip to the zoo, get some books from the library, find a poem about animals to learn or make a song out of, make up an "animal dance," paint pictures of animals or model from clay, start an animal journal, etc.

You get the idea....try to incorporate many different "subject areas" into that theme. Get the kids excited and then let them prove to your dh that the learning was FUN and that they did, indeed, learn something!

Show your dh that learning doesn't have to happen at a desk for six hours per day and figure out how you can get your older child really excited about learning.

Good luck!

[boysmom2]

I don't have time to write much now, but I just wanted to say that you guys rock! This is why I come here! Thanks so much!!

[Lillian J]

Whew, what a bad idea! Your intuition on it is absolutely right. I've heard of lots of people wanting to try a sample session of homeschooling during summer vacation, and it's never a good idea - it isn't and can't be a realistic sample in any way - not even close! For one thing, it can't possibly be what you'd end up doing once you got a real feel for homeschooling after the initial weeks or months of trying out various ideas and getting settled in. For another thing, it would feel like torture for them to have to give up some of vacation for an inexplicably unnaturally structured week during which you'd be experimenting. Homeschooling is a whole way of life - it isn't, as I'm sure you realize, a fixed concrete form that can be cut and sliced like that.

What some people do, and I'm not even sure this is such a good idea in your case, is to just incorporate some really fun and loose projects during the summer that include learning that the spouse can recognize - just to show how these things can be picked up in less schoolish ways, as Grace mentioned. You might try to get a copy, too, of Linda Dobson's book, The Ultimate Book of Homeschooling Ideas (a categorized collection of over 500 tried-and-true educational activities for all subjects, submitted by many homeschooling families). It has lots of fun activity ideas that have actually worked out well with children.

And last, but far from least, I'd spend some time leisurely going through the extensive threads that have gone through this forum where people have discussed the ways they've dealt with convincing spouses and family members about homeschooling. This post has a link to those and other links to some other helpful reading: "help? need research support for DH. he thinks i'm nuts for wanting to HS!" And make sure you don't miss this thread when you're reading through - it would be a shame to miss all this: How to teach DH about homeschooling - there are links to lots more of the same sort of conversation in it, and you'll find lots of great ideas.

Best of luck - and I hope this is a really fun summer for you. Lillian

[Smithie]

I can empathize with your husband wanting a demonstration, but you're right, a week of fake homeschool is just not going to work.

I see why others would suggest a very relaxed "this is not school" approach, but honestly, even if your kids learn SCADS during that time, I am worried that your husband will not see/acknowledge all that's been accomplished. If he hasn't done his research into homeschooling, then he is just not competent to judge that kind of unschooling snapshot. You need to be more concrete for HIS benefit.

I'd suggest that you and your husband tell the kids that you ARE homeschooling, and that the homeschool year starts July 15 and ends May 15 (or whatever dates work for you). Then school them formally for a month. If it's not going well, you can say that you've changed your mind and they can go back to school in the fall. But it will go well.

If I had a homedchooling-ignorant husband to convince, I'd pick some fairly inexpensive completed-worksheet-generating curriculum like Singapore math and science, start a history notebook, do some lapbooks, etc. Your husband needs STUFF to look at and appreciate. You don't have to school this way forever, but it really does help with the buy-in phase.

[zeldamomma]

Another approach to explaining the unfairness of the trial-week plan: in a lot of ways, homeschooling is like you're taking on a new job, and everyone knows that the first week at a new job is challenging just because you're new. Putting you in a situation where you need to "prove" homeschooling will work in just one week is unreasonable.

[Lillian J]

From what I've seen across many years, I'm afraid a formal schooling time could really backfire. Even children starting to homeschool in the fall usually need some real decompression time even after a full summer vacation, and this would be just the opposite in that they'd actually be having their summer vacation shortened. If their dad sees them looking "uncooperative" or not working along with enthusiasm, it could build on the notion he's already built up in his mind - it could be a lot like the scenes that have gone on around their homework.

Speaking of homework struggles, it's a very common fear parents have that homeschooling would be more of the same - but it's not like that at all!!! Many of us here have been through those fears, and found that those scenes were just very specific to homework and not to homeschooling. Children who have been in school all day are justifiably resistant to continuing on with it in their evenings and weekends - but all that is gone when they're homeschooling. Promise!

Lillian

[Lillian J]

Originally Posted by zeldamomma

Another approach to explaining the unfairness of the trial-week plan: in a lot of ways, homeschooling is like you're taking on a new job, and everyone knows that the first week at a new job is challenging just because you're new. Putting you in a situation where you need to "prove" homeschooling will work in just one week is unreasonable.

This is so true! I know of no one who started homeschooling from day one or from week one knowing exactly what they were doing and what would work well. Having some teaching experience, and having done lots of research, I had lots of "great ideas" - many new homeschoolers have lots of "great ideas" - but like the saying, "Life is something that happens to you while you're busy making other plans," those "great ideas" are often just plans you make before homeschooling happens to you. There's nothing so complicated about homeschooling - it's just that it's usually not what people think it will be, but the good news is that it's even better than they think it will be. Lillian

[LauraLoo]

Among all the other reasons listed by pp's, trying homeschooling this summer would likely not give your children adequate time to decompress. Decompression time could take all summer and even into next fall.
http://www.homeedmag.com/HEM/161/161.99_clmn_ok.html
http://www.hsc.org/protransitions.php

[meetoo]

I'm a new homeschooler, we agreed on a trial year. It has really taken me all year to find my groove and for my oldest (the one who had been in school) to really see me has the primary teacher. Seriously, I was ready to throw in the towel our first week. . I would really advise against the trial week and spend the summer doing FUN learning activities, like visiting museums, and state parks.

[Smithie]

I really don't think the OP's husband is going to be on board with the "decompression" theory. I'm not saying it's a BAD theory, just that it's not likely to be a convincing tactic in this particular case.

[LauraLoo]

"really don't think the OP's husband is going to be on board with the "decompression" theory. I'm not saying it's a BAD theory, just that it's not likely to be a convincing tactic in this particular case."

I don't think the OP's husband necessarily would, either. But it's another reason for the OP to understand why pushing a trial this summer is not the best idea.

[Lillian J]

Originally Posted by Smithie

I really don't think the OP's husband is going to be on board with the "decompression" theory. I'm not saying it's a BAD theory, just that it's not likely to be a convincing tactic in this particular case.

Oh, no* - there are some things that aren't worth going into with terminology, but you can work around them in other ways. But I was just saying that when decompression time is normally not even effective unless it's begun at the end of summer vacation, it's not going to be realistic to think in terms of springing school-like time on them in the middle of the summer - and I think that's what LauraLoo was pointing out as well. Lillian

[umsami]

One possible compromise that may work for your family (and make your DH happy) is to look and see if your state/district has a virtual academy. Most use either K12 or Connections Academy. It's sort of a bridge between homeschooling and bricks and mortar. You typically use a "regular" curriculum provided by the company, but have flexibility in how you implement it. There are field trips, etc. The costs are covered by the district (no additional fees) and it counts as "regular" school. You usually have at least one teacher assigned to you that you can talk with/conference with on help.

I know that with DS1, my DH was unsure as well. As math was my favorite subject, I started out just by purchasing the math curriculum I wanted to try (which was Right Start). We "played" math a few times per week, and DS loved it. DH could also see that he was learning. I also purchased a subscription to Click-n-Read phonics, and DS1 was reading quite fluently within a month. Those two things helped with DH. DS1 homeschooled a year, went to public school this year, and we'll probably be returned to homeschooling for him either next year or the following year. It's not like it's a decision you have to make forever. You can try it out, and return to bricks and mortar later.

[laohaire]

This may be obvious, but maybe try to reframe the trial for a year. This addresses the husband's need to not make a permanent decision (which I can totally respect). But also gives the OP enough time and space to work with it.

So then the question would be, how to assure the husband that a year isn't too risky? I don't know if this would help, but the absolute worst case scenario, which I think is incredibly unlikely and something I would easily be willing to bet on, is that homeschool doesn't work out, the 8 year old doesn't learn ANYTHING, and gets re-enrolled in school a year behind. Very unlikely. But also not the worst thing in the universe. Maybe this perspective won't resonate with the husband, though, I don't know. Then again, maybe it would allow him to look at his worst fear square in the face - and maybe after examining it a while he might find it's not that bad. How many people do you know (and maybe you guys are among them!) who got held back a year or graduated school a year behind? Are all of them - heck, any of them - utter failures? Or even minor failures?

[boysmom2]

Originally Posted by SundayCrepes

I don't have an answer to your question. I think a trial week is not enough time to figure out what you are going to do. Maybe figure out what you want to do then discuss it further with your husband.

Here's an article on homeschooling and socialization: http://learninfreedom.org/socialization.html

We are on the unschooling spectrum. These are some of the resources I will be using (my kids are 4.5 and 22 months.)

http://www.fun-books.com/books/livin...ing_guides.htm
As the website states: These guides are put together by Nancy Plent, founder of the Unschoolers Network in New Jersey and a long-time homeschooler. She reviewed the scope and sequence charts and curriculum guides of dozens of schools in various states, then combined the highest standards of elements from each to create these guides. Why purchase these curriculum guides? 1) They may help you to fulfill your state's legal requirement to provide an educational plan 2) They allow you to see some of the highest standards for schools at various grade levels, just in case you are curious about what the schools expect or are anxious about what you are doing 3) They provide record-keeping space that can help organize a portfolio.

Besides providing a checklist under each subject, Nancy offers suggestions on how to translate real-life experience into curricula goals. She also lists resources from a variety of companies.

http://www.sonlight.com/ They use good books to teach. Sit down with your kids, snuggle on the couch, read interesting books, and learn. You can just get the list, choose the books you want, and get them from the library. They are religious, but many secular people use them. Here's a group for secular users. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Sonlig...guid=156716553 (Search this forum for more ideas on using sonlight.)

This is put on by discovery channel http://www.cosmeo.com/welcome/what.html They have the educational standards for each state with links to videos/interactives. If you want to sort of follow what your state is doing, you can use these.

This is just a fun little site:
www.thehappyscientist.com--they'll email you an experiment to do each week or you can sign up for their list of experiments.

Thanks so much for all the links! Now that my littlest is asleep, I can check them out! I think you're right that it might help to do more research and work on my "lesson plans" to help him feel better about it.

Originally Posted by eclipse

I think this is a great explanation of why it would be problematic.

However, maybe you can come up with some non-schooly, fun learning experiences and put a bunch of them in a week. Do you have a zoo membership? Cool museums nearby? Are there any homeschool groups that meat in your area? Think about the kinds of things you want to be doing with your kids while homeschooling - I doubt you're going to have them sitting at a table doing "work" six hours a day, and it seems like that might be what your husband has in mind. I think you need to get through to him that homeschooling is not "school at home" for most people.

I do think he and I have very different ideas of what hsing would look like. While I do expect to be sitting together at the table for some things, I don't have any plans to have them sit quietly from 8-3. We really need to discuss this more in depth.

Originally Posted by kathymuggle

One week is nowhere near enough time to tell whether something this large is going to work for your family.

Your DH is concerned because he see you struggling with homework, and is afraid the whole thing will be one long struggle. But the thing is - he is applying school issues to a home situation, and it is not relevant.

Ex: your teacher wants him to learn his multiplication tables. The teacher send home worksheets, which your son does not want to do, and you have a power struggle on your hands.

In a home schooling situation, the situation is quite different.

First you have to decide if multiplication tables need to be learned, and if they need to be learned now.

Then you can move onto strategies. You can play games, use manipulative, do some internet games, etc. You never have to do a worksheet again if you do not want to

The end result is much the same, but getting there is so much more relevant (and likely to stick) and pleasant.

As per the question on what to say to DH:

1. One week is nowhere near enough to determine if it will work

2. summer is a really lousy time to do it. There is a good possibility other kids will be outside playing, and he might resent the infringement on his vacation

3. If you have determined after months that it isn't working, it will take, oh, about 5 minutes to register the kids in school. It does not have to be a permanenet decision.

I would spend the summer relaxing, researching big concepts and ideas (as well as free resources) and researching homeschooling groups in your area. If there are none, you might want to look into classes/sports, boy scouts, etc as social opportunities are important.

Good luck!

Kathy

Thank you, Kathy! This is just what I needed to hear! I think the school mindset is what we're getting hung up on. I need to help him consider that there are other ways for kids to learn.

And you're right, we could sign them up for school again if we decide that's what they need. I've presented it as something we could try for a year, but maybe I need to remind him that we could re-enroll them sooner.

Originally Posted by Grace and Granola

My kids are younger and we are just starting out, but we are also getting our feet wet with homeschooling this summer. That's where I'm coming from. So, FWIW....I agree it's a bad idea. BUT, if it's going to take this to get your dh to even consider homeschooling here's what I would do.

Do NOT tell your kids, especially the older that has the trouble with homework that this is going to be "school." That right there could shut down any enthusiasm you want to bring.

Since it is only June right now, give yourself a month or so to do your research and sort of get your thoughts together of what your "style" will look like.

After that, I would put together something like a "theme week." Think of a topic that your older kids are interested in and go with that. Plan a week's worth of ideas that center around that topic, like a unit study. So, if it's animals, plan a trip to the zoo, get some books from the library, find a poem about animals to learn or make a song out of, make up an "animal dance," paint pictures of animals or model from clay, start an animal journal, etc.

You get the idea....try to incorporate many different "subject areas" into that theme. Get the kids excited and then let them prove to your dh that the learning was FUN and that they did, indeed, learn something!

Show your dh that learning doesn't have to happen at a desk for six hours per day and figure out how you can get your older child really excited about learning.

Good luck!

This is a great idea! Both of my older kids, though my oldest especially, used to be such excited learners. We used to talk for hours about all kinds of subjects. School has definitely changed that in him. I can't wait to get that back!

Originally Posted by Lillian J

Whew, what a bad idea! Your intuition on it is absolutely right. I've heard of lots of people wanting to try a sample session of homeschooling during summer vacation, and it's never a good idea - it isn't and can't be a realistic sample in any way - not even close! For one thing, it can't possibly be what you'd end up doing once you got a real feel for homeschooling after the initial weeks or months of trying out various ideas and getting settled in. For another thing, it would feel like torture for them to have to give up some of vacation for an inexplicably unnaturally structured week during which you'd be experimenting. Homeschooling is a whole way of life - it isn't, as I'm sure you realize, a fixed concrete form that can be cut and sliced like that.

What some people do, and I'm not even sure this is such a good idea in your case, is to just incorporate some really fun and loose projects during the summer that include learning that the spouse can recognize - just to show how these things can be picked up in less schoolish ways, as Grace mentioned. You might try to get a copy, too, of Linda Dobson's book, The Ultimate Book of Homeschooling Ideas (a categorized collection of over 500 tried-and-true educational activities for all subjects, submitted by many homeschooling families). It has lots of fun activity ideas that have actually worked out well with children.

And last, but far from least, I'd spend some time leisurely going through the extensive threads that have gone through this forum where people have discussed the ways they've dealt with convincing spouses and family members about homeschooling. This post has a link to those and other links to some other helpful reading: "help? need research support for DH. he thinks i'm nuts for wanting to HS!" And make sure you don't miss this thread when you're reading through - it would be a shame to miss all this: How to teach DH about homeschooling - there are links to lots more of the same sort of conversation in it, and you'll find lots of great ideas.

Best of luck - and I hope this is a really fun summer for you. Lillian

Thanks, Lillian! I actually just got Linda Dobson's book. I think it's a great idea to look in there! And thanks so much for all the links to the other threads. I'm going to start reading through them tonight!

[One_Girl]

I don't think a week of homeschooling, or even a month of homeschooling in the summer is a great idea. I am currently homeschooling my dd and it has been going great, she is way above grade level, but she is very resistant to doing ANYTHING she thinks is school work now that it is summer and she knows her friends are out of school. I think you should tell him that it is summer and a week now would be doomed to failure, that you want a fair trial, and you want a few months to see how it goes when school actually starts so you can seriously assess whether it is going to work out for all of you, not just for the kids. If it is rocky you can always put him back in at any point.

If he won't agree to that then I think a week trial may be a good idea when school starts though because the first week was the easiest for us. My dd realized that she could complete her work quickly and then play so she was very motivated. It wasn't until the third week that we started to get in each others hair and experience some resistance to having to do any work at all. Over the course of a few months though we worked things out and I found the tools we both needed to be successful.