Please help me explain why this isn't a great idea... - Page 4

[eclipse]

I think it depends. I definitely wouldn't mention it without your husband agreeing that it's a good idea to talk to him (otherwise it will seem to your husband that you are trying to "get your son on your side" and play your son against him). But I think having your son's input could help your husband see what the potential is for homeshcooling. I definitely wouldn't do a "trial" without letting your son know, though. I think if your son wants to homeschool and he knows the "trial" being successful is a prerequisite to homeschooling, he would be more likely to cooperate with you.

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by boysmom2

Have you included your dcs in this decision?

My kids are included in decisions about their education, and that is an agreement that my DH and I have made. I wouldn't tell a child *unless their other parent was on board* with the child having input. If your DH feels that this is decision that parents should make based on what they they feel is best for the child, regardless of the child's preferences, then it would just be mean to dangle it in front of your child. On the other hand, the issues of a child's preferences might make for an interesting conversation with your DH.

BTW, both my kids currently attend school (they homeschooled until they were 10 and 12). Allowing your children a say in what they do doesn't mean that they will always want to be at home with you. I think it would be inappropriate to advocate for your child having a say NOW if the only reason you think he should have a say is because you know he wants what you want. Unless you believe that you will be equally supportive of him choosing to return to school, it's just a lie to say he should have a choice now.

There are many, many homeschoolers who don't believe that kids should have a choice.

[phathui5]

The other thing I've been wanting to say is that if your ds really doesn't want to go to school, and you are willing to homeschool him and your dh is the only holdout, I would consider letting him know that you are going to try homeschooling for the first half of the school year. Unless he's really researched it and put time into learning about it, he's not qualified to decide where schooling will take place (though that wouldn't be the right way to say it).

[LauraLoo]

Originally Posted by Linda on the move

Allowing your children a say in what they do doesn't mean that they will always want to be at home with you. I think it would be inappropriate to advocate for your child having a say NOW if the only reason you think he should have a say is because you know he wants what you want. Unless you believe that you will be equally supportive of him choosing to return to school, it's just a lie to say he should have a choice now.

This is a good point to consider. And I can guess that for the OP's son, *any* option would be a better option than going to school, given how he feels about school right now.

To answer the OPs question, dh and I decided about homeschooling first, and then gave ds the option. Not surprisingly, ds jumped on the hs'ing bandwagon. Like I had mentioned before, ds had had it with going to school.

Because we gave ds the choice, after 2 years he is now choosing to go back to school next year. Just like we discussed what homeschooling would mean for our family, we also discussed what going back to school would mean. We are supporting ds' decision. We also supported dd's decision to go and stay in school even though we were hs'ing ds, so that's something else to consider. Are you open to hs'ing some, but not all of your children at some point?

Anyway, this is kind of how we roll. DH and I make our decisions based upon the individual child's needs with as much information about options that we have at the time. We definitely take our children's input into consideration, but never make any promises until dh and I have worked things out between us. I know that not everyone would agree with this approach, but it has worked out wonderfully for our children so far.

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by LauraLoo

We also supported dd's decision to go and stay in school even though we were hs'ing ds, so that's something else to consider. Are you open to hs'ing some, but not all of your children at some point?

This is another good point. For awhile, one of mine was in school (by choice) and one was homeschooling (by choice) and it was harder *for me* than either having them both at home or both at school, though I do feel they were both doing what was right *for them.*

DH and I make our decisions based upon the individual child's needs with as much information about options that we have at the time.

Same here. Kids change and options change. Nothing is ever cut in stone.