What's Your Potty-Training Plan?

[OurLittleNest]

I think it's time. I realize that the main reason why my 20-month-old isn't potty-trained is because of me! I find it such an intimidating task to tackle. So I'm ready to come up with a plan. But I feel really overwhelmed with where to start. Do you take off their diaper and catch them before they go? Do you leave the diaper on and watch closely for the signs? Both ways seem like you would spend so much of you day not taking an eye off of them. I'm confused!

So what was your potty-training plan? How did you teach your toddler and how long did it take? What are your tips and suggestions?

Also, any direction of where to read more about the topic would be great. I searched potty-training on Dr. Sears' website (http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t106600.asp) and any like-minded/MDC-style approaches and articles would be much appreciated!

[allisonrose]

Subbing because I'm interested to see strategies that people have used successfully.

[momshelper]

Hi, potty training is a big step but with a plan you can have it more or less done in about 5 days.

First decide what words you are going to use such as wee-wee, pee-pee, poo etc and start using them when changing diapers. Make sure that everyone dealing with your child uses the same words.

Pick a time to start when you are not at work or you have the time to spare and plan towards that date.

Take you wee one to choose and buy their own underwear and potty if using or child friendly toilet seat if heading straight for the big toilet.

Start to talk about what will happen as if it is an exciting adventure.

Make up a reward chart and put it in your most used toilet or near where the potty will sit. Do not offer sweets as a reward but go down the line of special stickers which your child can choose for themselves.

On your choosen day do not put a diaper on your child, go straight for underwear.

There will be accidents so be prepared. Diapers are so good these days that children are not sure what "wet" actually feels like and how uncomfortable it can be.

Have plenty of spare clothes handly placed so you can get your child changed without hassle.

Do not get angry or upset, always stay calm. Children very quickly pick up on your emotions and when toilet training it is important that they feel secure and can gain confidence.

If they have an accident do not give in to the temptation to give a sticker anyway. Children can learn quickly but the rules have to stay the same. When they manage to use the toilet or potty making a big fuss, plenty of positive praise, a high five or two will reinforce that they have done it right.

On the first couple of days, regularly take your child to the toilet and then start asking if they need, dont necessarily take their word for it everytime, sometimes you just need to try.

If there are a lot of accidents dont be tempted to revert back diapers, persevere and you will be rewarded with a toilet trained child.

I have used this method to successfully toilet train four children so far and each time five days and it was done. Please don't worry if it takes longer and dont compare one child to another.

I hope potty training goes well for you and your wee one.

Good luck!

[LynnS6]

Saw this in new posts.

A lot of 20 month olds aren't ready. My plan was to wait until my kids could stay dry for a bit with diapers on, then have them go diaperless for a few days. If they were continually surprised by peeing on themselves, they weren't ready.

The other thing we did was change them in the bathroom and have them sit on the potty between diaper changes.

Ds was 3 1/2 before he was trained. It took major bribery to get him to try. Dd was about 2 1/2 and did it totally without incentives. Given their personalities, this doesn't surprise me. Ds is a perfectionist who likes to know that he's going to succeed before he tries. Dd is a leap before you look kind of kid.

So, the fact that your 20 month old isn't potty trained isn't surprising to me. I don't even think we were contemplating potty training at that age!

[taramoon13]

i was VERY intimidated by potty training too. we just started letting ds go "commando" in the house and taking him to the toilet every hour or so. we didn't have a big list or rules or anything and he caught on relatively quick. once we switched from diapers to underwear we didn't go back except (and still) at night and for the first few long car rides where we knew he'd fall asleep. i also put a diaper on at naptime the first week or so, then just put a towel under him.
i agree with pp on always having a change of underwear/shorts and plastic grocery bags to put the soiled ones in.
once they have their first "accident" you realize it's not really that big of a deal especially if it's just pee!
GOOD LUCK and just stay positive!!!!!

[sapphire_chan]

Okay, my dd's been diaper free for a couple months now, and telling me about poop since 16.5 months. Still hasn't potty learned. She needs regular reminding about pee. I think going into it cold with a 20 month old with no experience with a potty could be a long while with puddles and messes.

So I'd start with the goal of letting her know what the potty is.

No diapers is good, but maybe just outside or just on days when you know puddles won't phase you?

Take her to the toilet when you go, tell her that you're peeing, have a little potty for her out where she can see it, have her toys use the potty.

While she wouldn't under stand rewards/charts, dd does like using her potty as a chair while playing and getting a book to read while sitting on the big potty.

Re: dry diapers occasionally during the day, I'd think summer would be the best time for that since the time between pees stretches out so much. Aren't diapers usually checked at least every 2 hours? I'd expect lots of dry diapers in that case.

[lifeguard]

Ds is 19 months. I've been putting him on the potty after naps & in the morning for quite some time & most times he will at the very least pee. He likes sitting on the potty or else I wouldn't do it right now 'cause he honestly does not seem to be able to put together the "feeling" of needing to poop or pee & what actually happens. When I let him go nakey he is ALWAYS surprised when he starts to pee. And if I leave him naked for any period of time he pees repeatedly.

I figure as long as he likes sitting on the potty I will continue the way I am until he starts showing more readiness to really get into it. At the very least we're saving a couple of diapers.

[peaceful_mama]

I've been taking DS2 to the potty occasionally for awhile now, and it's been there and we've talked about it. I tell him poop goes in the potty when I clean his diapers.

A couple days ago he actually followed me in the bathroom and sat down on his potty (clothed) while I was going--first time he's done that totally on his own!

I've pretty much been taking him if he is dry and letting him try whenever he's interested. No success yet, but he's a willing participant, which is the first step. (I think I'll have to find something that works to get him to sit longer to get 'success') singing has not worked so far, I need to get organized enough to get some books in there or something.

[K1329]

For us, dd was 34 mos., and ds was 39 mos. For both kids, we told them that it was time to use the toilet, no more diapers, and let them run around with nothing on. We had 1-3 days of "accidents" while they figured it out, and then it was done. For me, waiting until they were older really worked well. They were definitely physically and mentally ready, and it happened REALLY quickly. With very little stress. I've noticed with some of my friends, that potty training younger toddlers can be a long road, with many months of accidents. For me, I didn't want the stress of many cleanups and waited until they were older. It was surprisingly quick and easy!
Oh! I've also seen one friend who let potty training deteriorate into a battle of wills. I don't think there's any way to make a toddler use the toilet if they don't want to. For both of my kids, we had one false start where they were resistant. I just went back to diapers and tried successfully a couple of months later.
Good luck!

[wholebreath]

We waited until our ds was VERY interested in the potty. We had a potty chair in the bathroom for about 6 months before he started sitting on it at all, then he would want to try after he'd went in his diaper, then he started occasionally (like once a week) actually making it to the potty before he went. Then a two kids at daycare started using the potty and he started talking about wanting underwear. He started using the potty every night before bath and sometimes after, and that's when we decided to go for it. We talked about picking out underwear for a few days, went and got some together and then got rid of diapers during the day. It took about 4 days for him to concretely get the connection between the sensation of needing to go and getting to the potty. He was 29 months when we got the underwear. We were very low key through the whole process and he was really pushing us to learn. From buying the potty chair to getting underwear was probably 9 months.

I would wait until he's really showing signs of interest and understanding.

[momshelper]

Best thing to remember is that each child reaches milestones at different times, some can be potty trained at 18 months and some are not ready till they are 36 months. You know your own child and you will pick up when they are ready.

Good luck to all who are starting potty training soon...

[dexlor]

My now 26 month old was using the potty periodically around 1 year old to pee in but now has no interest in it. I ask her if she wants to try it and she says "no" and when I've tried to cajole her, she gets a tad upset so I've backed off. I admit I've succumbed to the pressure of my 60ish year old sis in law (who had 4 boys, no girls) who said she should be out of diapers now and that she thought girls were supposed to be easier to train. I am not fond of the word "training" when it comes to my daughter. I know if I pressure her this will backfire. I also think if I start using a reward system that it could work temporarily but could backfire on me later. So, I'm hoping for intrinsic motivation! She knows all about the potty, has books on it, knows that mommy and daddy go and are very interested and I am just happy about that. She tells us when she pees or poops and we tell her things like "if you're tummy hurts or if you toot it might mean you have to go poopy" just so she gets an idea of what her body may be telling her. Now that the weather is nicer we'll try more "naked time" but then again, she loves wearing her clothes and will tell us to put her diaper on. Oh well. She is a happy, healthy, active, smart little girl and we know she'll be out of diapers someday.

[funnygrace]

We've been doing it very very slowly since about 4 weeks. He is 21 months old now and we haven't had a poop in a diaper for about a month, but pees are frequently in a diaper although he often also pees in potty and is dry for long periods. I think we'll use the warm weather of the summer to do more naked time and more pants w/out diapers or undies.

What got him doing all #2 in potty was setting up the potty in the common room and reading to him while he sits on it for about 10 minutes about 4x per day. He is developing a schedule and will usually go once mid-morning and once early evening. Sometimes he tells us he has to go, but usually sitting gets the process started. And once he's gone, he's good to go for a while. Reading really help with the patience. Otherwise he is up and off to do another activity.

I also got him a little travel potty so we can go places.

[jumpmama]

when we decided to start I made sure he was ready. we dabbled in it a little before he was ready and it was just a waiste of time.

when I knew for sure (finally lol) we started by running around the house nakers for about a week...dragging the potty into every room we were in. the key is to always keep an eye on the LO otherwise they always pee when your not paying attention!

we told him no more diapers. he had minimal accidents, maybe one or two.

then we went and bought some big boy undies (he got to choose of course). we also switched to pull ups at night so there was no confusion with the diaper.

once he started getting the hang of it and telling us when he had to go we kept the potty in the bathroom and running for it when he told us. *making the running a fun game*

it only took 2-3 weeks for him to tell us when he had to go.

first off, i think pull ups etc. during the day are a waiste of time. they just think they are a diaper. also, PLing should only take a couple weeks if the time is right. if its not working then they probably arent ready. we realized this after a couple of tries.

[MarchMummy]

I would recommend reading "Diaper Free Before 3" by Jill M. Lekovic (check your library, mine had it!). It has lots of practical stuff, and helped me a lot when DD potty trained around that age. In fact, DD2 is now 18 months and I've been thinking it's time to read that book again.

It's really not that difficult, and sooooo worth it IMO. Good luck!

[DevaMajka]

Some posts have been removed for UAV's and for responding to those UAV's.

Please keep in mind:

We are not interested, however, in hosting discussions on the merits of crying it out, harsh sleep training, physical punishment, formula feeding, elective cesarean section, routine infant medical circumcision, or mandatory vaccinations.

[AKA_PI]

My 22 month hold has now moved to the two year old room and they are sat on the potty up to 4 times a day. I too am pretty intimidated about training as well so I'm a bit more lax at home. I know I need to put him on there each hour but I honestly forget.

I've been putting him on pullups instead of diapers and when gets wet he pulls them down. That's been the biggest indicator. The other is when he poops, he pulls them down as well. and after he's gone he'll say "pee mommy".

I think it takes time but like others said, you have to stay dedicated to do it.

[winter singer]

When you say that you think it's time, do you mean that your child is showing the signs of potty readiness that Dr Sears describes in the link? If so, I'd say it's worth a try. You can always try again later if it's too early, and if it's the right time, the whole thing might turn out to be very quick and straightforward.

DD always hated diapers so there was a strong incentive for us to ditch them as early as possible. I had the feeling she was ready, based on the same kind of things that Dr Sears describes, and we took her diapers off during the day when she was 19 mo (we'd been doing a EC in a laid-back way since she was little, so she already knew what a potty was for). There were quite a few puddles during the first couple of days and there's still an occasional accident now (at nearly 21 mo), but the relief of not having to diaper her far outweighs cleaning up the odd puddle, and most importantly, she's THRILLED with herself and with the whole business of using the potty.

We didn't use rewards but we did (and sometimes still do) a potty dance as described in the three-day potty training method here: http://www.babycenter.com/0_potty-tr...ss_10310078.bc . She thinks it's terrific fun. She almost always tells us now when she has to go (although of course now that I've written this post she'll probably have a huge regression ).

Good luck with whatever approach you decide to take!

[lyra2007]

Am I supposed to have a plan? I knew I was forgetting something!