what to call a no name foster child

[htcamommy]

I apologize in advance for the lack of info but i really don't have any to give. We recieved placement this morning with a baby girl left at a neighborhood firestation hours after birth. She is in the hospitial for observation but should be disbharged tomorrow. She is officially named in the cps records as baby g and the firestations name as her last name. Although we would be possibly open to adoption but know that more than likely a relative will appear. So what do we call her? a nickname? a real name? anyone ever been in this situation?

[neveryoumindthere]

Aww, you guys are amazing.

I've never been in this situation, but I think I'd go with a nickname, like Hope, or Faith, or Grace or something along those lines.

s to you and your foster baby!

[Smithie]

Honestly, I'd name that baby whatever I was planning to name my next daughter.

A relative may appear, but if not, I think I'd want to tell my daughter someday that "I knew you were X as soon as they put you in my arms!" And if you don't get to keep her, well, that treasured name was a beautiful gift that you gave her.

A woman who dropped off a newborn off at a fire station may well be hoping and praying that her relatives/babydaddy never track down this child. She might have had a very good reason to do what she did. I understand that you have to hold back a bit for your own emotional safety, but it may also be possible to entertain the idea that an anonymous foster/adopt placement is what the birthmother wanted for her baby, and that your family will be able to fulfill her wishes.

Regardless, thank you for taking this little one in.

[mamalemon]

Hi there.

Our son came to us the same way. His name was AB34-(the hospital where he was born). We changed his name right away. Later, during court proceedings, the judge asked us what we call him because he didn't like calling him by his un-name. I was very glad that we could give him a full name that included our last name. It may also have helped our adoption case to prove our intent of permanency.

The way I see it, the baby deserves a name. Whether it will always be his name or not, she still deserves the honor of being named. It will also help you in bonding to have a name to call her.

Best of luck to you! We had a very smooth case with no relatives ever surfacing at all. If the birth mother didn't leave her name or info, the courts can not notify her of hearings either which makes things easier.

[SundayCrepes]

My parents did what is now called cradle care for an adoption agency when I was in high school. We knew all the babies would be leaving us. We named each of them and my mom still remembers them by those names. A couple adoptive families kept the names we chose.

How attached are you to your favorite name? If she leaves you will you feel weird naming another child by that name? Will you regret it if you choose to not use the name again?

I always wait a few days to name my babies (okay, that's twice I've done it.) Even though we had our daughter's name for years, she was 3 days old before we named her. I just wanted to make sure it was HER name. So, I'd say, meet the baby and see who she is when you name her.

[marsupial-mom]

Yes I've been in a similar situation. The advice we got from a case worker was " pick a name andhope it sticks" but don't think that was good advice.

I think it's better plan is to simply call her "baby" or other little nicknames for a while. If they find her biomom and learn baby's name it will be easier for you to transition to using that name. If it turns out she really doesn't have a name, then you can pick something. Remember, there might be other people who know her by a certainname and if you change that name, it's sort of like cutting off those connections (aunt, siblings, grandma, etc).

Baby's learn their names between 6-12 months so just remember there's plenty of time.

[sesa70]

if she is a safehaven baby, it is (in my opinion and experience) highly unlikely that family will come forward.

Also, more than likely she will be given a name by the foster caseworker, a hospital worker, etc. They need a name to put on her medical card and the rest of her paperwork, so if she hasnt been named already by the time she is discharged, a caseworker will likely pick a name for her.

[Polliwog]

Maybe, maybe not. Heatherdeg's daughter (who was a safe haven baby) was legally named BabyGirl. They gave her a different name, though.

I'd talk with the baby's social worker and see what is normally done in your area, OP.

[heatherdeg]

Originally Posted by SundayCrepes

How attached are you to your favorite name? If she leaves you will you feel weird naming another child by that name? Will you regret it if you choose to not use the name again?

I see the point here, but we had this situation with a ffd. Her goal was RU but her bm didn't appear to have a snowball's chance. In our mind, she was going to be "M----". We called her by a nickname we could live with forever that had nothing to do with any given name. She came to us at 5 days and RU'd at nearly 10mo. We were happy, but we knew mom still had a lot of odds against her. So "M----" was always "ffd's name"... on reserve so-to-speak. When we got our ad, we felt funny even considering naming her "M----" because it was ffd's name. So it no longer felt like our favorite name as opposed to feeling like it didn't belong to anyone else. And ffd will be 3yo soon and was removed from her bm again about 16mo ago. The existing fps are calling her by a nickname and ffd is getting old enough that I know "M----" will never be her name (fps have discussed a new name for her). I'm not sorry, though.

Originally Posted by Polliwog

Maybe, maybe not. Heatherdeg's daughter (who was a safe haven baby) was legally named BabyGirl. They gave her a different name, though.

YES!!! And let me tell you: they WILL change the legal name at some point because in some states (like mine) you can't get WIC without Medicaid which you can't get without a SSN which you can't get with the name "BabyGirl". So we got to name her.

Ad's case was even more discomforting because her bm was in labor and told the hospital that ad wasn't going home with her. So the bm didn't just drop her and run. She was VERY FIRM about not taking ad and wouldn't hold her or name her or pick a family. But it was a little nerve-racking because she said in her talking to the hospital that she'd only been in my state about a month (and was otherwise in the US illegally) so we had to wonder if she came to our state to avoid the bf knowing about ad.

Ad is now 19mo and was finalized just before her first bday (SafeHaven babies are a rare sort--so the state kind of stumbles in how to handle them ). She is still legally the name we gave her.

[Marsupialmom]

I would pick a name that starts with G, for in part the fire house and her being a gift.

Gina
Gizelle
Glenda
Gloria
Grace
Gretta
Gabriella
Gaile
Giavanna
Gwin

[christophersmom]

I would pick a name that you like and want. I kinda regret not changing DFD's name after the first week when the SW's told us we could since they were 99% sure we would keep her. Her name has now stuck and DS asked me the other day will she always be M--, mom she doesn't fit if she doesn't start with a C. All of us start with a C, even the dogs. The chihuahua we adopted in October already had a C name which is kinda why I think I chose her.
I do like FD's name though and it fits her, she will just be the only M in a family of C's.
Technically we did change her name in that we shortened it from her birth name, though.

[Polliwog]

M's name is beautiful and really suits her. Does she have a "C" nickname? I can't remember what middle name you gave her. Does it begin with a "C"?

Polliwog came to me at 9 months old so obviously she already had a name that people were using. But, no one knew how to pronounce it. I'm glad that I got to meet her grandmother and found how how to say it properly, because is a beautiful name when you say it but the spelling doesn't match.

[Diane B]

My daughter was in foster care for six weeks before we received our adoption referral. The foster mom just called her the Spanish equivalent for "baby" or "little one" since her birthmother did not give her a name. I think for a shorter-term placement, this would work just fine.

[Alvenchrst]

What about the name Haven, since she was safely surrender in a "safe haven"?

[christophersmom]

Originally Posted by Polliwog

M's name is beautiful and really suits her. Does she have a "C" nickname? I can't remember what middle name you gave her. Does it begin with a "C"?

Middle name is L more out of significance, I kinda wanted Cate. Her nickname is chica though. It just kinda came out and stuck and kinda cute since DS was in a spanish home daycare and his nickname was/is bebé. M does suit her though, I like it, just not what I necessarily would have chosen.
You will have to message me how to pronounce polliwog's name. I am sure I butcher it when I read it to myself.

[Smithie]

OP: any updates?

[htcamommy]

Sorry in being so late with an update but I'm running after 6 kids these days. She has a name. Well not legally. She's still legally Baby G. Firestation. We had her home for about 4 days and my dh told me I might as well name her the name I had previously wanted for our last daughter. So she now is Addilyn. Her medical card and I assume her birth certificate and social security says Baby G. but her dr, case worker, and everyone else know her and refer to her as Addilyn. She was 7lbs 1oz "at birth." The bio mom was determened but names are not being released. She went to an e.r. for care. Obviously it was deteremined that she had given birth, social services was called, she said she had dropped her baby off at said firestation at said time and was a female. Once social services confirmed that she hadn't "abandoned" her baby there was nothing more they could ask being that the baby was a safe haven. They did say however that they believe the mother was significantly under age but could not confirm that as she gave no personal information. Addilyn had no drugs in her system at birth, and so far has shown no signs of withdrawls or effects of drugs or alcohol. So now its just a waiting game. Wait for someone to claim the baby. Wait for the judge to determine that no one is and disolve undetermined parents rights, wait for Addilyn to be cleared for adoption, wait wait wait wait.

[SundayCrepes]

Congratulations on your admittance to the waiting game. On one hand very frustrating. On the other hand enjoy that beautiful baby girl.

[SeekingSerenity]

That is a beautiful name, and you're doing a beautiful thing.

[Smithie]

"They did say however that they believe the mother was significantly under age but could not confirm that as she gave no personal information. Addilyn had no drugs in her system at birth, and so far has shown no signs of withdrawls or effects of drugs or alcohol."

for that poor girl. But whatever horror she's facing in her life that got her pg way way too young, hopefully her choice to do safe haven will keep Addilyn permanently shielded from it.