How did you choose?

[Kim B Lynn]

Hello!

I think there are so many good things about different education styles that I don't know how I could possibly choose one. What made you choose Montessori or Waldorf or a freeschool or homeschool? What are the pros and cons to different styles that you looked into? What's your best education advice for someone who doesn't have kids in school yet?

TIA!!!

[Addy's Mom]

My son is just starting preschool, so it's not like I have lots of experience or wisdom to share. But my approach has been focusing on what method would continue to encourage his love of learning, which all kids have. It just seems to get snuffed out over the years.

Maybe that sounds like a given, but where I live, families are super-competitive and are all about "feeder" preschools and getting into the right private as the best chance for Harvard, etc. Whether the child learns or not is irrelevant as long as the end-goal is met. And whether the child actually enjoys learning isn't even considered. That's not my thing.

I've chosen Montessori, and if that goes well, there is a great school around here that goes up through the 8th grade. If not, there is another progressive-model private school that I can enroll him in, where the education is very much hands-on.

[whatsnextmom]

My best advice is to know your child, check out the options and see what feels right when the time comes. Most styles can be perfect for one and terrible for someone else. Don't be afraid to try things. The worst that will happen is it doesn't work and you try something else.

You'll also find there can be a huge disconnect between philisophy and practice. Montessori might look great on paper but these schools can vary greatly from one to another. Same with public schools, Waldorf schools, Catholic schools, and so on. You may love the ideals the school is founded on but upon arrival be totally unable to picture your child there.

Personally, we looked at half the schools in the county it seems and in the end, the best place for them in elementary was the public schools in our own district that could offer flexibility, innovative curriculum and strong teaching staff. It's not the best place for all... how can it be?

Go check out some schools with your own child in mind. Most people get a feel pretty quick whether it's going to work or not.

[K1329]

You'll also find there can be a huge disconnect between philisophy and practice.

I agree with this. While educating yourself about different philosophies is great, you should also just get out there and visit your options in person. Ds is currently in a preschool that has no educational philosophy attached to it. It's just simply a play based preschool. But it is a "happy place." Everyone smiles, the teachers and kids love each other, parents are welcome at any time, etc. It has a great outdoor space for the kids, too. I feel great leaving him there and he always is happy to go.
I visited Montessori, Waldorf, Reggio Emilio (sp?), church-based, etc. Some had policies I didn't agree with, such as no parents in the building, kids are dropped off in carpool only. Unacceptable to me. Some had unfriendly staff. Also unacceptable to me.
I think you can only choose a school by visiting your options and getting a feel for how each individual school operates.

[whatsnextmom]

Ds is currently in a preschool that has no educational philosophy attached to it. It's just simply a play based preschool. But it is a "happy place."

Same here. We wanted a highly nurturing staff with a lot of playtime and no emphasis on traditional academics at all.

[aikigypsy]

The options I considered were:

Waldorf school on our road, 1.5 miles away
non-affiliated preschool about 3 miles away
Reggio-Emilia/Montessori school about 8 or 9 miles away

The Reggio-Emilia school was my favorite in terms of atmosphere and curriculum, and also the least expensive of the three. I was planning on it until about a month and a half ago, when it came time to commit. Then I decided to go with the nearby, non-affiliated school.

It has a good reputation, kids seem happy there, and it incorporates some of the things I like about Waldorf (outdoor time, no commercial characters allowed on clothes, etc.). The deciding factor, though, was convenience and the fact that I think I can make it work through both kids (DD is starting in the fall, DC2 is due in late September). Both of them will most likely be in preschool for 3 years each, and this place is right next to our local elementary school. It has a half-day option (which is what we're doing now) but also a full-day option, which would be good if I decide to get regular outside-of-house work when baby2 is ready for preschool.

DD and I used to be part of a Waldorf playgroup which I really liked, but I'm not so keen on Waldorf as a whole philosophy. The place up the road is expensive, and I didn't really like the feeling when I went to visit. Visiting is really important.

One more thing I liked about the school we've chosen is that I know and like some of the other parents who will be sending their kids there. It's a school community that I feel I can get invested in for the next 5-6 years.

[zinemama]

Waldorf was never an option for a few reasons:
a) I went to a WS myself.
b) even if I wanted it, the school was out of our price range
c) it would have meant a 25-minute drive each way, twice a day.

Our kids went to a Montessori preschool. And to be totally honest, it had nothing to do with Montessori methods. I knew little about them and didn't care what they were. I still don't, for the most part. What decided me was knowing a lot of happy parents whose happy kids went to this school, knowing the teachers were kindly Quakers, the fact that there was a lot of singing (Woodie Guthrie, Pete Seeger) and that there was a big focus on modeling peaceful conflict resolution. And that it was 4 blocks away and affordable. No regrets.

We're now at our local public school. Again, proximity: 3 blocks away. Also: it's free. And, it has an environmental focus, teachers are on a first name basis with kids, there's project-based learning, lots of art, gardening and being outside; it's a nurturing place where my kids are happy.

In all the years my kids have been in school, I have never once heard them say they hate it. It wasn't that way for me. So I've done well as a parent.

My advice: look beyond the theories and the philosophies to the actual, individual school you'd be sending your child to. It is a mistake to get attached to a particular philosophy to the extent that it prevents you from seeing clearly how things are actually done in the real environment of the school. My parents made this mistake.

[rabrog]

I knew we wouldn't do public school - too many kids in a classroom and several unhappy teachers, a principal position up in the air (all at the school a block from us).

I got her into all the lotteries then looked at each school. I went to the orientations of all three schools, toured the schools. I knew the place-based one that was opening last fall was not for us (lots of outdoor stuff at -20 and if we as parents aren't excited about -20, how can we expect our kid to be excited??). I was very excited about the Montessori charter school until we toured it - way too quiet and seemed unnatural. She didn't get into either of those.

The magnet school she got into was our top pick. She has a homeroom teacher in the morning and then, starting this year in 1st grade, will have 2-3 classes of her choosing. She'll take Spanish, a physical science class, a class on habitats that has guinea pigs, birds, a snake, a turtle, etc., a social studies class on maps and the U.S. and a class on gardening/planting/composting. It's an amazing school and we've jumped in feet first. We had a fabulous kindergarten year and know the staff well.

I listened to my gut, went with what I knew about my child and we got the best school for her. If you do the same, I don't think you'll go wrong. :-) BTW, I did all the lotteries because of the registration deadlines and that gave us an option other than public school if she didn't get into the magnet we wanted. I did a lot of thinking, praying and research in the three months between when I submitted paperwork to them and when the drawings took place.

Jenn

[whatsnextmom]

I knew we wouldn't do public school

I just wanted to point out that charters and magnet schools are public schools. I've never heard those terms used with private schools. In our area, magnets are still part of their neighborhood school district. Charters stand seperate from school districts but they still are publically funded and are held to the same state standards as other public schools. They just have either specialty themes or the flexibility to reach those state standards by their own curriculum design.

I'm not trying to nit-pick... I just want to make sure others know that their public school districts may have other choices. My youngest goes to a tri-lingual magnet school in our district. My eldest will be attending a performing and creative arts magnet highschool in a different district this fall. These are non-tuition, tax-payer funded public schools.

[kathymuggle]

nm - I posted in the wrong thread, lol

[Peony]

I always knew I would homeschool, I homeschooled myself for high school, and it was just so right for me. Than I had a highly dyslexic 6y old who I couldn't do anything with. I battled her on so many of her other issues that I just couldn't teach her, I needed to focus on just being her mother and let therapists and teachers actually work on teaching her.


My area was a big issue, there wasn't that many options, what there were didn't work with her. She needs a different environment then some of the methods, lots of supervision, etc... the local Montessori school has many grades in the same classrooms, that doesn't work for a 2nd grader that is still below K level. Public schools can't work with her the way we need even with her private therapist, the therapist wouldn't be allowed into the school.


So we settled on a very small private Christian school which I swore we would never do because we are an atheist family, but you know what, it has been the best decision ever. They adore DD1 and have done everything to include her even in things that she is not capable of doing. Last school year, we had not one single issue ever come up, that is huge for a child like her. The religious part I can live with because it is all the other that makes it very worthwhile.

[Kim B Lynn]

Oh, I totally agree on not picking a school based just on philosophy.

The thing is my DS is only 8 months old, and we're not planning on doing any formal schooling until he's 5 or whatever the state requirement is. By then, we don't really know where we'll be living since we're students and not firmly grounded anywhere.

So the way I'm looking at it is that I might as well figure out what I feel most in line with in theory so that I can do a little "preschooling" at home in that style and hopefully know what I want and expect out of a school before I go looking. And when we decide where to move I'd like to check out what they have education-wise before we go

So without the specific schooling in your area, what's your favorite philosophy & why?

[Heavenly]

For us the most important thing was our faith. We knew we wanted the childred in a private Christian school. After that we chose based on what fit our value of education best. I think it is important to choose based on what is best for each child, and at that specific point in their lives. We initially wanted a smaller school environment and chose a small school with only 70 students (JK-grade 8). That worked well for the first year and a bit but over the last half a year we are finding they are not able to meet our son's special education needs or our daughter's gifted needs. So we are making the move to a larger (still Christian) school with over 300 students from JK-grade 8. They have better factilities and better programs for kids like mine. We don't regret the original choice - it was best for us at that time. Now we are needing a change and are excited about the new school. It may change again in the future, and if so we'll reassess. I think being flexible is very important and not getting caught up in one specific school. The children we imagine are not always the children we get and they not fit the school that we thought they would.

[Addy's Mom]

Originally Posted by Kim B Lynn

So without the specific schooling in your area, what's your favorite philosophy & why?

If you are doing it at home, your options are limitless! (Not an option for me because I'm working FT outside the home, but I just think that would be so much fun.)

I chose Montessori for a variety of reasons. Mostly because I like the tactile, hands on learning, which I think is how my son learns best. I like the fact the work is self-corrective. Kids learn at their own pace. There's a fundamental atmosphere of respect and peace. There's no real competion. There's no homework, at least not at the primary level (I'm anti-homework for elementary and certainly for preschool).

I also have purchased the Core Knowledge Series of books -- "What Your Preschooler Should Know," which gives an overview of the different educational information your child should know -- history, science, art, music, poetry, etc. I incorporate that into some of the things we do when he's not in school.

I like play-based too, but the schools in my area are very academic in a very pressured way. My 3 year old recently got "homework" at his daycare based preschool and I just about flipped. I want him to love learning -- knowledge will naturally follow. Worksheets aren't going to do that for him.

And finally, I do preschool level science stuff with him, making sure it's fun, like an ant farm, a trip to a butterfly garden, learning about weather, etc.

You can do so much from different pedagogies if you are doing it at home. And both of you can have so much fun with it. Enjoy!

[karne]

Well, we did it the wrong way. We chose based on philosophy, outward appearance, beautiful and very expensive materials, etc. (waldorf). Then we realized that the philosophy wasn't a substitute for education we wanted. We moved on to ps, not fancy, lots of stuff we thought would corrupt our kids (but didn't!), and now we have well educated, happy kids!

My point is, look beyond the surface and challenge yourself to examine all of the options. Sometimes you find greatness in surprising places.

[whatsnextmom]

The thing is my DS is only 8 months old

Don't put too much pressure on yourself to figure this out now. I can tell you from personal experience, the education and life style that YOU are inline with may very well not be what suits your child best when the time comes. I've really learned to take it one year at a time. Both my kids came with their own preferences and needs that continue to unfold as they age (13 and 9!) Niether's education is ANYTHING like I'd planned in their infancy. It's actually better than I planned largely because my kids have had tremendous say in where they've been.

I'm not saying to not research and learn. Just keep in mind that your child will have their own learning style and they will show it to you as the years come.

[karne]

Originally Posted by whatsnextmom

I've really learned to take it one year at a time. Both my kids came with their own preferences and needs that continue to unfold as they age (13 and 9!) Niether's education is ANYTHING like I'd planned in their infancy. It's actually better than I planned largely because my kids have had tremendous say in where they've been.

Well said.

[Azik's mom]

My LO is just about to start a playschool and I agonized about the choice. I got what I thought was very advise and someone has already mentioned it here... think about what he needs right now. That is what I have done. We've decided on an inhome preschool that uses the Emilio Reggio approach. But my decision for choosing that school was not only based on the philosophy but the feeling I got when I visited. Our interaction with the lead teacher and others kids who were there.

It's kinda funny but when we arranged the visit the teacher mentioned that this was not the best but she was willing to accommodate me. Because it wasn't the best time I got to see how they handled conflicts and I met some parents as they came to pick up their kids. I felt as though this was a place I could actually see my son.

Off course it,s not the end of things I will be continually assessing how things are going.

[yvonnemommy]

I’m homeschooling my 8-yo. We enjoy it. DD can learn what she wants and time is also very flexible. Here are some of my feelings. I think the most important thing of homeschooling is that you should make plan adequately and then persevere in it. Besides, find some assistant tool helping you to find out where you have been and whether you are teaching the right thing. About this I recommend beestar. My DD has been using it. It looks great. Anyway, good luck!
Lisa

[meemee]

how old is your child?

the thing is when my dd was young and i was researching options i was looking for what 'I' thought was right for my dd.

however by around 4 1/2 i got a better feel and by the time she started K i discovered how much i was steeped in her 'gifted' abilities at the cost of others.

our present choice is not 'my' choice - but the choice life made for us.

my dd just 'tolerates' school. there is no her kinda school in this area.

however the key was understanding my dd's personality.

and trying to find a mix. she needs both 'artistic' time - hands on building projects AND challenges.

she hates how math and english are the first things taught - thru rules and how boring it really is.

IF i had a choice - it would be hands down co-op unschooling. this child has no problems finding projects on her own. she is not the kind to read from a book. she is the kind who wants to feel it with her hands and do trial method. and later try to find the answer in the written.

it was her personality that helped me decide which was perfect for her. and even though she will be in 3rd grade - even today a co-op unschooling where her guides would be people with passion for that subject and not just me - would still be the perfect fit for her. in a sense our afterschool is more like radical unschooling.

she is also the child who can focus for HOURS. she is the kind who wants to focus on ONE thing - for hours or days, complete it and then move on.

she is teh kid who loves being messy and getting her hands dirty. so colouring a book or drawing is not really her thing. she is great at comics but that is not her choice. she instead enjoys huge sheets of paper where she can paint using her shoulders or feet, or do things like stitching, playsand, playdough, mixing different kinds of textures to see what happens, making goop, etc. she is also GREAT at gardening and getting her hands in dirt.

which means a great gifted school does not fit her. neither does waldorf.

she also has a great social need which does not get met by her school. she wants to play on her terms which elementary school does not give her the chance. what i mean by her terms is sometimes in a group she would like to lead the game, but they find her method wierd. at k i was lucky. she was in the afternoon k, so we would go to school early and she would join the older kids in play which helped her adjust a lot. she has conversations which most of her age kids dont understand because she is far too mature. it is sad to watch her want to fit in and yet not want to too.

school constantly reminds her how she doesnt fit in.

the reason why unschooling or even sudbury would suit her is because she could lead. i have absolute faith that she would do much better guiding herself on her own than me telling her what to do. she is the kind of child who always scratches beneath the surface.

she is almost 8 and doesnt play video games. but she watches my roommates sons play and asks a million questions. so by the time she starts she will be a pro because she will have already learnt how to strategize.

so what i am saying is you never really know. i always knew unschooling would be right for her. but since she had to go to school i chose an academic school. within 3 days dd reminded me about what a bad fit the school was for her. she was in an AWESOME dc/ps before K and she was expecting school to be like her non academic play ps. she was extremely disappointed it wasnt. i think for K a waldorf school would have been a good fit for her but not after that. until 4th grade i know school is going to be boring for her - even though she usually brings home excellent grades.

oh yeah another personality quirk. the teacher. makes a HUGE difference. instead of a gate class she was in a split class last year. and it was perfect. she looooves her teacher. she will tolerate about anything for her teacher - which she did last year.