Oh, I had all my philosophy and research done for DD by the time she was 6 months old.
Then, over the next few years, I got to know her. And what appealed to ME wasn't really what appealed to her. And we added two brothers. And I realized that I really needed to think about this not only from each individual child's needs but also the whole family's needs.
I had intended to homeschool (I've never really bought whole hog into any particular method--probably that got jaded out of me as a preschool teacher). That would not have been a good idea for our family and two of the children (the third was neutral). The neighborhood public school was meh (to me). So I found and applied to a parent co-op like choice program through the public schools, and it's been a very good fit for the whole family.
I wanted enough adult support in the classroom to support a good degree of differentiation. Got it. Wanted a place where different learning styles and quirky personalities were accepted and welcome. Got it. Wanted a community of adults for ME. Got it (though sometimes being part of a tight knit community isn't all it's cracked up to be--the closeness can lead to siblingesque fights too--but the people it's brought into my life are 100 percent worth it even though occasionally we want to kick each other). I wanted to be able to be intimately involved in my kids' education--knowing the curriculum, how it was taught, seeing it be taught, helping with the teaching. Got it. But I also needed some breathing room when I needed it after having 3 kids in 17 months and going through years of intensive parenting and feeling like I lost myself in the process. Got that too--and a community that cheers me on and supports me.
I think sometimes that people think that they need to pick The One for their child. Even though I adore my community and program, I still don't think that the co-op method is the only way to go. If our life had been in a different stage, who knows. And just because my kids are not homeschooled now does not mean that they will not be for middle or high school. I haven't mapped all that out yet, and that is okay (and most appropriate for my very interesting children--I won't get a clear picture of what will and won't work for them and us yet, don't expect to for a few years yet).
So, what we are doing now was chosen based partially on the needs of each individual child, but also where we were as a family, and MY wants and needs too--not FOR the children, but FOR me. I tried hard not to project what I wanted my kids to like and need onto them. So this part was purely about where I was in my life at that time. How involved could/would I be? Did I want to do it 100 percent by myself, and what would that look like for me physically/socially/artistically/spiritually? Did I want a team? How much risk aversion did I have. What was I willing and unwilling to sacrifice--both on the part of the kids and for me and the family unit as a whole?
The answers that I came up with when my oldest was a year old were VERY different 4 years later when it came time for academics. (I don't do academic preschool, which was great since my kids didn't need that anyway.) DH and I also re-evaluate things every year. The children are not involved in those discussions yet, but they will be in 5th grade onwards.
Then, over the next few years, I got to know her. And what appealed to ME wasn't really what appealed to her. And we added two brothers. And I realized that I really needed to think about this not only from each individual child's needs but also the whole family's needs.
I had intended to homeschool (I've never really bought whole hog into any particular method--probably that got jaded out of me as a preschool teacher). That would not have been a good idea for our family and two of the children (the third was neutral). The neighborhood public school was meh (to me). So I found and applied to a parent co-op like choice program through the public schools, and it's been a very good fit for the whole family.
I wanted enough adult support in the classroom to support a good degree of differentiation. Got it. Wanted a place where different learning styles and quirky personalities were accepted and welcome. Got it. Wanted a community of adults for ME. Got it (though sometimes being part of a tight knit community isn't all it's cracked up to be--the closeness can lead to siblingesque fights too--but the people it's brought into my life are 100 percent worth it even though occasionally we want to kick each other). I wanted to be able to be intimately involved in my kids' education--knowing the curriculum, how it was taught, seeing it be taught, helping with the teaching. Got it. But I also needed some breathing room when I needed it after having 3 kids in 17 months and going through years of intensive parenting and feeling like I lost myself in the process. Got that too--and a community that cheers me on and supports me.
I think sometimes that people think that they need to pick The One for their child. Even though I adore my community and program, I still don't think that the co-op method is the only way to go. If our life had been in a different stage, who knows. And just because my kids are not homeschooled now does not mean that they will not be for middle or high school. I haven't mapped all that out yet, and that is okay (and most appropriate for my very interesting children--I won't get a clear picture of what will and won't work for them and us yet, don't expect to for a few years yet).
So, what we are doing now was chosen based partially on the needs of each individual child, but also where we were as a family, and MY wants and needs too--not FOR the children, but FOR me. I tried hard not to project what I wanted my kids to like and need onto them. So this part was purely about where I was in my life at that time. How involved could/would I be? Did I want to do it 100 percent by myself, and what would that look like for me physically/socially/artistically/spiritually? Did I want a team? How much risk aversion did I have. What was I willing and unwilling to sacrifice--both on the part of the kids and for me and the family unit as a whole?
The answers that I came up with when my oldest was a year old were VERY different 4 years later when it came time for academics. (I don't do academic preschool, which was great since my kids didn't need that anyway.) DH and I also re-evaluate things every year. The children are not involved in those discussions yet, but they will be in 5th grade onwards.
