Are we crazy to start co-sleeping at 16 months?

[Vegan Princess]

DD is 16 months old and has been sleeping in her crib in her own room for 10 months. She almost always comes into our bed at 4-5 until she is up for the day. We started night weaning a week ago and now we have found it impossible to get her to stay asleep in her crib once we leave the room. She obviously does not want to be in there alone. After being up with her for almost 4 hours in the middle of the nigh last night, DH and I decided to put our mattress on the floor (our bed was very high) and just bring her in our bed once she wakes up and won't go back down in her bed. At least this way if she won't go back to sleep, we can still sleep. Also she often wakes very early and maybe she will just crawl off the bed and play with the toys we put in the room. Not sure if this will work or not?

Are we crazy to start co-sleeping this late in the game? I feel like this is the age a lot of people start moving the kids OUT of the bed. I just can't help but feel like this is the best answer bc she does not want to be alone. I regret not cosleeping from the beginning (thought she did sleep in our bed the first 6 weeks and in our room for the first 6 months).

Cindy

[lach]

IMO yes... that was the age for both of my kids that we could NOT sleep together. They only wanted to play when they saw us, and it was a nightmare. Up until about a year, and after about 18 months, we coslept (and cosleep) a lot. Not always, but when we felt a child needed it or when my daughter asks (my son is still too young to ask... and is in the nightmare stage anyway. We tried the other night because he had a fever and he was back in his room by 2). But between then every time we tried it was miserable!

But if it works for you, then no it's not crazy at all! I love cosleeping, and find it frustrating when it doesn't result in a good night's sleep for anyone.

[lach]

And I just wanted to add that a lot of people have ideological reasons for cosleeping, but I personally do not think that it's a requirement for being a good, attached parent. It should be entirely about ensuring that everyone gets the most high-quality sleep possible. While many kids sleep best snuggled with their parents, some kids really do better sleeping in their own room. I think that cosleeping is one of those things that should be taken on a case by case basis of whether it works for your family.

In your case, I think it sounds like it's for the best, so no I don't think you're crazy at all! (Despite my sarcasm in the last comment )

[Sheryl1678]

It is never crazy if it works for your family and helps everyone get a better night sleep while helping your little one feel safe and secure.

My daughter starting sleeping in her own room at 4, starting getting terrified at night a few months later and now is back full time. I tell her she is welcome anytime, all the time or can go back to her room whenever she wants. It is all good if she feels safe (and not so good if she is scared to death and not sleeping).

[verde]

It's completely dependent on the personality of the child. IMHO you should think of it as an experiment. Try cosleeping -- it either will work or it won't. Then you'll know.

[Lilygoose]

After a year and a half using many different sleeping methods with our DD, I'd say do whatever works best for your family to get sleep. My DD is almost 20 months and we recently started her sleeping in her toddler bed (from co-sleeping with me), but her bed is in our room so we are right there for her. I LOVED co-sleeping, once I finally felt safe with her, but she started moving too much (I got tired of being kicked in the face repeatedly) and she and I had reached a point where our movements would wake the other up. She still comes into to bed with me in the morning, usually around 4 or 5am, but otherwise sleeps pretty well in her own bed. I would suggest trying her in a bed in your room.

[Magali]

I enjoy cosleeping more than ever now that my son is older. He is 3 now and loooove cuddling with him. Give it a go and see how it works for you.

[Caneel]

16 months is probably the age when DS started co-sleeping with us full-time. And like the pp mentioned, the older he got, the more fun it was for all of us.

[Vegan Princess]

DD wasn't capable of just sleeping next to us until now...she had to have a boob in her mouth the entire time until now. That was no fun for me! DH and I love having her near us...it's reassuring and cute.

So far: she came into our bed at midnight on Saturday and wanted to nurse but instead cuddled up with me and went to sleep. Much less dramatic than when she is up crying for hours! And last night she ended up sleeping through the night in her crib and never needed to come to our bed. Maybe since we gave in and put the mattress on the floor she will start sleeping in her crib better. LOL.

Cindy

[midnightmommy]

I vote for if it works do it! She needs the comfort obviously, and by co-sleeping she is getting it. You never know she may decide in a month or so that she feels confident about her own bed again.

[HappilyEvrAfter]

Another vote for "see if it helps".

My son and I started co-sleeping just after he turned two...it worked out better for us.

[sarahdavida]

Definitely not too late - you need to do what works best for everyone at the time. We did something similar with DS. even though we weren´t night weaning - and didn´t cosleep before for various reasons - around 16 months it was just too cumbersome to get up to nurse, get him out of his crib, put him back in, etc...so we started cosleeping and it worked great. We even got rid of the crib and put a double sized mattress on his floor for the flexibility of me being able to go in with him to nurse and just fall alseep there - and often stay there the rest of the night. And we´ve done a combo even since. I am just truly nightweaning him now at 3 yrs, 2 mo. and I find that - ironically - cosleeping is HELPING the nightweaning. I feel he doesn´t feel so "abandoned" - as long as he still feels that DH and I are close, not nursing is a little easier and it´s going better than I thought. But if we insisted on him staying alone in his room, I know the nightweaning would be much more traumatic and unpleasant for everyone.

Do whatever works! Flexibility is key :-)

[sarah1122]

HOORAY!!! I say go for it! We have the same story.

DS was in a crib in our room until he was about 15 months. Then when we started a little bit of night weaning it became impossible to get him back into his crib after he'd fallen back asleep without nursing...so we just started bringing him right into bed with us the first time he wakes. Its been lovely and beautiful and I love those night-time snuggles.

You might find that as long as you keep putting her to sleep at bedtime in her crib and bringing her to bed with you the first time she wakes up that she'll slowly sleep longer and longer stretches in her crib..until she sleeps right through. My DS is 20 months now and while we still have some long nights every now and then he recently started sleeping from 8pm to 4am in his crib....and if he wakes up in the night he comes right into bed with us for snuggles and I sing him back to sleep.

[momma_bear]

I don't think it's crazy at all. My eldest went to sleep nicely in her crib but if she woke up I'd nurse her and fall asleep so she'd still be there in bed with us. I had gone back to work so I really enjoyed the time to be close to her cuddled up in bed. When she was 2 we moved her out of the crib in our room and into a bed in her own room...if she woke up she'd come to our bed and it was never an issue. When she was 3.5yrs we had baby #2 and I explained to her during pregnancy that she couldn't come into bed after that b/c I'd have the baby in there for nursing and didn't want to risk squishing the infant. It went over OK although sometimes DH was on the floor in her room if she was afraid of the dark. It all worked out okay. I really cherished those nights of cosleeping. Now baby #2 is almost a year I let my eldest snuggle in bed in the mornings and I love love love lying there cuddling with the two of them!

[Vegan Princess]

I'm enjoying all the replies! And so nice to know that we aren't crazy for starting now, despite what my mother tells me. LOL. She slept through the night again for the most part in her own crib last night. Just came to bed for an hour when she was allowed to nurse again. Now that we are all set up for her she doesn't seem to be needing to be in our bed. I'm not convinced the sleeping through will last though - it never has in the past.

Cindy