Originally Posted by NightOwlwithowlet  This is the part of your post that jumped out at me, because DS has had the same issues. He had a hard time dealing with situations where he has to defend himself verbally. He also isn't always to tell the difference between teasing and bullying. He was badly bullied in kindy, to the point where the bully was expelled, so he automatically tended to overreact to even mild teasing from friends. With the help of his therapist, the bullying in school was that bad, we've used very specific strategies to help learn to deal with situations like that. I'm sorry that this happened to your child as well, bullying is horrible and we have been dealing with the aftermath for a while - but it does feel like it's getting better
1. For the first few months after he finished Kindy last spring, we tried to make sure DS was only around kids he liked and trusted. If there were issues, I'd call DS over for a few minutes (I'd make up a reason like he needed more sun block) and give him a chance to decompress. Afterwards, we'd talk about what happened and different ways to handle it. Yes, this is good, I'm just going to have to keep more of a weather eye on things, I thought things were getting better though and didn't want to be the parent standing by her kids all the time - it's difficult finding the balance
2. I taught him to name his emotions in private when he wasn't under a lot of stress. I tried to model by naming how I felt, why I felt that way, and how to deal with it. I told him stories about similar situations when I was a kid and how I handle it, giving examples good and poor choices I made. I'd point out examples in real life and in movies and we'd talk about how he thought the people felt, what was happening, and how they could handle it.Oooh yes, we can certainly do this
3. We rehearsed over and over how to react to different situations. What to do and say, what body language and tone of voice to use, when to walk away, and when to tell an adult.yes, she really loves theatre so the role playing thing will certainly work I think
4. We worked on everyone in our family learning self control. DS and DH take martial arts, I meditate. The martial art has really helped with his self esteem as well. Mentioned that this would be a good idea in someone else's response, I've been thinking about martial arts, the only thing is that do the kids of this age really understand the true philosophy behind the martial arts?
5. One specific area where DS needed help was how to react to younger kids who annoy him without looking or acting like a bully. This involved very specific steps. Ask the kid to stop, if they don't stop walk away, if they follow you and keep teasing you, tell an adult that you've asked them and could they deal with the kid.I need to reassure her that looking to an adult for help is ok
6. I gradually backed off and started letting him handle things on his own.
It took several months, but he is a different kid. He stood up to a kid three years older who was teasing him. When he has an issue with kids in the neighborhood, he deal with it on his own. He's made several friends on his own this year. He still has moments when he overreacts, but generally he does great on his own.Maybe I backed off too soon, thought that she was able to handle the situations completely before she actually was. Thank you for your thoughts - I really do appreciate it
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