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"Vaxes up to date...?"

post #1 of 33
Thread Starter 
At a Developmental Pedi appt with my DS, I got tripped up by that question, it came rolling in a series, right after "Does he sleep well? Healthy appetite? Stool ok? Vaxes up to date?"

It was "yep, yep, yep," and then I said "Uhhhh.....no...." and I felt self-conscious about answering the way I did, like I was apologizing when I never meant to. You get a question worded that way from the modern-day "gods" and I stumbled off my pedestal, fighting off that negligent-lowlife feeling. She asked for clarification, I told her the truth, that we stopped at 6 months because I had read some things... She accepted the answer and went on, but weeks later as she was presenting us with DS's Autism dx she gave me a brief but unmistakable hairy eyeball when as she told me there was no good science that said there was an Autism/vax link (thanks, but Autism wasn't the only reason why I stopped vaxing.)

What is the best way to answer a professional's "Vaxes up to date?" question, when the "up to date" part presumes so much? TIA
post #2 of 33
I just say I am religiously opposed and after that they cant ask you any more questions by law. Though the one ped. tiptoed all the way around it without asking me what religion. He got on my nerves but nothing he could do about it.
post #3 of 33
This is why I do not use a 'health professional'. IMO anyone that still believes vaxes are good and not dangerous is ill prepared to look after the health of anyone. In your case, I see why you would want someone involved, since you have a dx. Have you looked for a DAN in your area? From what I have heard, they respect body integrity and protect it from toxins. Here is a list of DANs
http://www.autism.com/pro_danlists_us.asp I found that in a search, not a site I know, but list looks good. This is where I first heard of DAN dr's
http://www.generationrescue.org/

This group has a lot of informed people in it and a lot of good help. It is very high volume however, so I chose to view it on web only to prevent email flood.

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/GFCFKids/

perhaps finding a health professional that is informed and understands the link between neurological damage, vaccines and toxins like mercury in our teeth would be best for your family.
post #4 of 33
In the ER, I'll tell them that I won't answer because it biases their care either way (in cases of illness) or because it's meaningless information (in cases of injury).

With the developmental pediatrician, regular pediatrician, occupational therapist, and social skills facilitator, I was honest. I said that it was partly because of my beliefs that it's better to allow my children to develop immunities naturally, and partly because of my family history of vaccine reactions. And I said that my older son lost speech shortly after a round of shots, which may or may not be related to the shots, but I wasn't taking any more chances. I think it was more important to be honest with the people who were regularly working with him - especially when they were dealing with areas related to his speech loss/ delays. I've gotten some lectures ("Well, you really should at least get XYZ vax because blah blah blah") but I'm confident in my decision and didn't worry about it too much.
post #5 of 33
Just be prepared; if you are dealing with a nurse or an MD it is likely to come up. I say "we do not vaccinate." I haven't had to deal with any attempts at lectures since ds was a baby.
post #6 of 33
2 ER visits.

"shots up to date?"

"yes, in that we're allowed to not vax."

End of story, move along. Excellent care, even if it turned out both times DS didn't really have to go to the ER, it was a "just in case" move each time, once for a burn, once for a fall.
post #7 of 33
I would just be very stern about your answer. If you are, the chances are smaller that you will get lectured about it because they'll know not to mess with you.

We've only had to deal with our pediatrician at this point (and he's fine with our decision), but it's the nurses that would give us an attitude when our son was a baby. When they would ask, "So, what vaccines are you getting today?" I would say say "none" in such a way as to say you are not giving any of that to my baby, and they would respond, "You're not getting any??" with such an attitude and disbelief that I could do such a thing. I would just say, "No" again even sterner with some annoyance attached to it. They got the point. Who are they to judge anyway????? Let's see them inject themselves with 5 shots at a time. I always prepare myself with things to say in case someone does say something to us about it.
post #8 of 33
I'm along the lines of what milkybean would say...

If I was asked if her vaxes were up to date, I'd say yes, her vaccine records are.

Of course, I may have to wipe out a blank sheet of paper and write vaccine records on the top to hand to them...
post #9 of 33
Thread Starter 
Thank you for these responses and understanding my point of view (instead of judging me for white-coat jellyknees.) CDS sent us to this dev.pedi., DS's regular doctor (whom we rarely see) was chosen because of his view on vaccines and how that they're not necessary.
post #10 of 33
a useful hint when someone pulls the checklist approach (in any setting) and you find yourself getting confused and saying yes when you should have said no, or vice versa:

turn it around and lay a guilt trip on them by saying "I'm sorry, but you are going too fast. Can you slow down and go over the last few questions again?"

This puts the person who thinks they are in charge off their stride very nicely and gives you a chance to regain your equilibrium. It has the advantage of being true, besides, as you wouldn't have given an incorrect response if they hadn't been going too fast.
post #11 of 33
Here's the way it's always gone for me at ER visits:

Nurse: Immunizations up to date?

Me: No

Nurse: Next question....

Really, you don't have to launch into explanations. A simple "No" will do it.

(And I would never lie.)
post #12 of 33
Sometimes a confident, cheerful answer will confuse people. At an ENT appt last year, the pre-screener person (before the doc) asked if DS was up-to-date on vaccines, and it totally threw me for a loop, I hadn't seen it coming at all. But I faked cheerfulness, "Oh no, we don't vaccinate."

Poor young man looked almost scared of me after that (I think he wondered if I was going to start evangelizing at any moment despite my very mainstream appearance), finished up quickly, and exited fast.
post #13 of 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by tanyalynn View Post
Sometimes a confident, cheerful answer will confuse people. At an ENT appt last year, the pre-screener person (before the doc) asked if DS was up-to-date on vaccines, and it totally threw me for a loop, I hadn't seen it coming at all. But I faked cheerfulness, "Oh no, we don't vaccinate."
I've done that one too.
post #14 of 33
I haven't had to use it yet, but the line I have all ready to go is "We choose not to vaccinate." I think the 'choose' part is important - I'm not a negligent parent, we made a concious choice.

And I am not about to argue with anyone. I can pretty much guarantee that I have spent many, many more hours researching vaccines than any doctor I am likely to cross paths with, so I refuse to engage with someone who is just going to fear monger. No point.

Of course it took me a while to get to this place. My family doc made me cry at my DD's 2mo visit, so I understand the pressure of being in a doctor's office.
post #15 of 33
At the docs, I would be honest and unapologetic "no, we choose to not vaccinate"

we have to fill out a form for DS to be in the playroom at the gym, on that I answered "yes" up-to-date on vaccinations, as he is - according to our schedule of non-vaxing - This isn't an ER, and the people who staff it aren't medically trained at all, so I feel it is not a place where we should push the issue.

Checklists bother DH too, because they ask breast or bottle, and he is flummoxed because DS gets BM in a bottle sometimes (while I am at work, or we are out on a date night or something). He said they need to change their question because it is confusing. You might try the same with the nurse - esp. since all kids are not vax'd on the same schedule anymore.
post #16 of 33
i dont say no when asked if ds is UTD, bc i think that implies partial vax status, so i just say "ds is EXEMPT". it sounds important or special or something. i've yet to have anyone ask for clarification, whereas i used to say no or "we dont vax" and that inevitably opened a whole big can o'worms.
post #17 of 33
Here's the thing--you are doing what YOU think is best for YOUR child. You might be humiliated, belittled, degraded, offended, etc. by the health personnel. They will look at you as if you are endangering your child if you don't vax.

Just remember this--you might be humiliated at the doctor's office, but that is only for a few hours. It is a very uncomfortable situation, I know. But you will be able to sleep well at night, knowing that you stood up to controversy and you have done what is best for your baby! That feeling outweighs whatever the disapproving doctors can throw your way.
post #18 of 33
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by BeckyBird View Post
Here's the thing--you are doing what YOU think is best for YOUR child. You might be humiliated, belittled, degraded, offended, etc. by the health personnel. They will look at you as if you are endangering your child if you don't vax.

Just remember this--you might be humiliated at the doctor's office, but that is only for a few hours. It is a very uncomfortable situation, I know. But you will be able to sleep well at night, knowing that you stood up to controversy and you have done what is best for your baby! That feeling outweighs whatever the disapproving doctors can throw your way.
Thank you for that, it was very empowering. I feel like I did a lot of research when I decided NO MORE VAX, but then I stopped, so when a dr. asks me about it it feels like I no longer have the arsenal of information I only ever half-had in the first place, I just knew which way my gut was leaning. You are very right, the feeling outweighs any doctor's disapproval.

"We choose not to vaccinate," is how I'll answer in the future.
post #19 of 33
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by akind1 View Post

Checklists bother DH too, because they ask breast or bottle, and he is flummoxed because DS gets BM in a bottle sometimes (while I am at work, or we are out on a date night or something). He said they need to change their question because it is confusing. You might try the same with the nurse - esp. since all kids are not vax'd on the same schedule anymore.

Yeah, and half the time what you answer doesn't make an ounce of difference anyways. I was horribly naive when I checked into the hospital for DS's birth, over 7 days I was asked countless times "do you plan to breastfeed, do you plan to circumcise" and every time the answer was "yes, no" but lo and behold, after my unplanned c-section my DS had a bottle in his mouth before I held him, AND my OB showed up for a circ and was all bewildered when I told him "uh nuh." I saw this Dev Pedi 3 times and each time the nurse asked me if he was allergic/taking supplements. Why couldn't they rely on the info I gave them on the first visit??? :
post #20 of 33
Well 1st off i wont let my kids see a dr if the DR dosent respect my medical choices ...
I will tell you,When interviewing docs i came out and told them "I DONT vax "and if at any time they bring it up or make me feel less then for not doing it ,I will leave thier practice and find a nother DR.
Letting them know that you dont look at them as a God ,really brings them back down to earth IMO ..The fact is they are employed by you to take care of your children health when needed.
They are not there to make medical choices for you....

But to answer your question..If this happen to me ..I woul ask why is that relevant to my childs health?
because unless my child is showing symptoms of a disease ..why do you need to know this to tell me whether or not my kids is growing correctly and is healthy...
Then if they didnt respect my wishes ect i would tell them i am finding a new dr ASAP!
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