"Vaxes up to date...?" - Page 2

[MyFillingQuiver]

I used to answer...ever so quietly, meekly and shy, "Um..we don't vaccinate." Not because I wasn't confident or sure of our decision..but because I had been so belittled the first time I told a pediatrician, so I was scared to be in a confrontation!

Now..it's just a "Nope, we don't vaccinate, though I rarely find ourselves in a situation that requires the question/answer...however, we have to be prepared! I pity the poor soul who tries to tussle (pompously-I'm all for respectful discussion)over that one with me. As far as I'm concerned, in this country..for now at least, I'm allowed to make health care choices for my children. I'm allowed to parent them as I see fit-I'm qualified, by God, to be their parent..no MD, or anyone else, has to allow me that option.

It's a difficult place at times. We don't do well-baby/child visits at all anymore, and a small part of the reason was even though the last ped was fairly respectful, I was sick and tired of walking out of there with pamphlets on the need for all the vaccines...never a mention of side effects or issues. You'd think with all of the campaigns to be greener, they'd spare me the paper.

Anyway..be strong and word it any way you choose-just be confident however you say it. Always remember, your choice to not vax isn't based in ignorance, poverty, conspiracy theory and rumor. It's research, common sense, fact and evidence based..something the medical community has largely forgot about.

[tessa_s212]

Originally Posted by MCatLvrMom2A&X

I just say I am religiously opposed and after that they cant ask you any more questions by law. Though the one ped. tiptoed all the way around it without asking me what religion. He got on my nerves but nothing he could do about it.

It is actually against the law? In all states?

At one of the well babys, I said this to the doctor. She asked me rudely what religion I was. I answered "Christian" to which she rudely replied "Well that's NOT a Christian belief, that's your personal belief." I said, "No, that is my religious belief." She pressed further, "No that is your PERSONAL belief." I didn't say any further, and she told me I should consider vaccinations at DS's next appointment.

So now I'm wondering, should have I reported her?

[tessa_s212]

DS had to go to the ER for possible toxin ingestion. I figured he didn't actually ingest any.. but I sure didn't want to chance it! And got that gosh awful question, and I fumbled all over it and make myself look so stupid. I'm a passive, quiet person to begin with, and the doctor woudl NOT stop pressuring me to give him a "good enough" answer.

[dknees]

I usually say, "He's had all the shots he's going to get." or "we have chosen not to vaccinate." I think it's really all in the delivery (as pp have said) and if you sound like you're waffling (which I totally can understand, based on how the convo went down) then they think it's a good time to start a conversation about vaccinating because you might be receptive to what they have to say.

[Monkey Toes]

We just had this happen and it made my husband and I both laugh. We took our daughter to an urgent care on the weekend for some issues she's been having. The nurse doing the intake questions asked if she was up to date and we simply said no. Then when the doctor was in it somehow came up that we hadn't been to a ped since her 12mo because we moved (she's now 17mos), and she asked, 'So she hasn't had her 15 month shots?' We just said nope, and that was it, but as soon as she left we had a nice giggle.

I've been wondering if there's any point in going to well checks past infancy, but then when you do need a doctor do you just go to urgent cares? I felt like I was going to get in trouble every time I said we don't have a regular doctor...but I'm still working on my confidence in these things.

[Emmeline II]

Originally Posted by tessa_s212

It is actually against the law? In all states?

At one of the well babys, I said this to the doctor. She asked me rudely what religion I was. I answered "Christian" to which she rudely replied "Well that's NOT a Christian belief, that's your personal belief." I said, "No, that is my religious belief." She pressed further, "No that is your PERSONAL belief." I didn't say any further, and she told me I should consider vaccinations at DS's next appointment.

So now I'm wondering, should have I reported her?

It is not a crime to merely ask; you don't have to answer.

[Peony]

I answer truthfully during evals, my oldest has many evals for her various issues and the vax question comes up sometimes. My pedi knows I will not vax but for everyone else, like ER visits, I say "up to date". I do not engage in vax debates with DD1's therapists, etc... I just say something like thanks for the info or that is not why we are here, and change the subject.

[terra-pip]

I'v ehad to navigate these questions as well. My oldest was vaxed and is on the autism spectrum even with some vaxs delayed. Anyway when he was little we were going to a playgroup at the local public school and the person running it handed me a form a few weeks after we had been going that "I seemed to have forgot to fill out"...I never even seen the form before, but it asked for my child's (this was a playgroup for 1 year olds) SSN and vax records. I politely told her I saw no legal reason why she needed that personal information for a 1 year old. And I stopped going...I planned on homeschooling and I saw right through that trap right away.

I also had to switch docs because I had a pede who was very beligerant when pregnant with my second about my decision to delay and refuse some vacines as well as Vitamin K and eye drops or circumcision. He was very offensive. "Are you one of those parents who are so scared of western medicine that you would be so negligent?" That was the end of his involvement with my family.

We see a FP now. And in my community kids get their shots by a nurse at the health dept. The docs don't do it at their offices and then the records are sent to the various docs. So he has to know that are children are only partially vaxed. But he hasn't brought it up. Also with the birth of my second I didn't want a debate about the hep B so i just said we were going to delay vaccines. I didn't see any need to tell him we were refusing hep B all together. My second stopped getting vaxed at about 6 months old after a severe reaction to prevnar and DTaP. Which were the only two he was receiving.

i also had a very exhausting discussion about my oldest's vaxs with a developmental pede...they really do treat us like a bunch of idiots when we KNOW what we experienced with our children after being vaxed don't they?

Our OT and speech pathologist and chiropractor on on board in regards to vaccines though.

I've actually said to a doc before "are you willing to sign a piece of paper saying that you will take full responsibility physically, mentally, spiritually and financially for any negative effect that your decisions will have on my child for the rest of his life?" Blank stare. "Well I have..it's called a birth certificate."

[peainthepod]

I like, "We don't vaccinate, and are not going to discuss vaccines today". It's direct and to the point and if you keep your tone even and polite, it brooks no further inquiries or arguments. Plain and simple, not vaccinating is a choice--the default choice--and your reasons are your own business. A white coat and stethoscope doesn't give someone the authority to question your motives or judgment.

If you need some confidence when dealing with pushy doctors, I highly recommend reading Dr. Mendelsohn's Confessions of a Medical Heretic. It's eye-opening and hilarious, and will help you quickly realize that doctors are far from infallible.

[VillageMom6]

Originally Posted by Kerimommyof2

Well 1st off I won't let my kids see a dr if the DR doesn't respect my medical choices ...

That works great until your child falls off a swing and breaks her arm and has to go to the hospital. That's where we've always encountered the dreaded "Up to date?" question.

I tend to answer "Yes" because according to me, we are "up to date". We are current in our practice of not vaccinating.

Since vaccines aren't 100% effective, even if my child is sick and fully vaccinated, the doctors still need to consider those illnesses as a possibility.

[tessa_s212]

Originally Posted by VillageMom6

That works great until your child falls off a swing and breaks her arm and has to go to the hospital. That's where we've always encountered the dreaded "Up to date?" question.

I tend to answer "Yes" because according to me, we are "up to date". We are current in our practice of not vaccinating.

Since vaccines aren't 100% effective, even if my child is sick and fully vaccinated, the doctors still need to consider those illnesses as a possibility.

For those of you that lie, are you ever afraid they will check up on you and find out you are lying? I'm a terrible liar. And I have not been able to let myself lie so far when asked if he is vaccinated. Granted, if DS ever breaks a bone, knowing whether or not he is vaccinated has NO relevance to his treatment, so it wouldn't matter, I just fear being caught in a lie.

[Martha83]

I just say "We are not vaccinating" but with certain family members dh has said "she has everything she needs" which doesn't say she has them but doesn't say she doesn't either....

My Filling Quiver: You said this in your post: "your choice to not vax isn't based in ignorance, poverty, conspiracy theory and rumor. It's research, common sense, fact and evidence based..something the medical community has largely forgot about. "

I LOVE this view!

[Xerxella]

Tessa -

It wouldn't bother me at all to lie. In fact, I wish I had when we took DS to the ER. In the future, I'll just say yep. I don't want the hairy eyeball or someone changing their care plan because they think I'm an uneducated hick who needs extra medicine (I had a doc prescibe 4 antibiotics for an ear infection because she was saying there might be all these other infections or it might be resistant. She also gave me a speech about vaccinations. Needless to say, we didn't go back. I did my own research gave one antibiotic and skipped the rest. My son recovered just fine. But, that's way off topic.)

Sorry. If they did catch me in the lie, I would just say we are up to date according to our religious belief's schedule, which is no vaccinations. Besides the fact, there is no way the ER would find this out. How would they find out? Call the doctor's office? If the doctor's office was open, we'd have gone there. And why would they check, anyways?