Still wetting the bed at 7 years old

[knee_deep_with_1]

Hi, I was wondering if anyone else here is still working on their older one staying dry at night. My daughter is 7 and is nowhere close to being dry at night. She isnt motivated at all at wanting to stop or helping to stop. I have tried everything I can think of and nothing seems to work. How can I help her stop if she doesnt care that she does it in the first place? I am SOO tired of having to wash sheets every morning and its a fight to get her to help. Her dr assures me that she is perfectly healthy and to let her outgrow it on her own. But, how do I manage in the mean time??? I have stopped drinks. I try to make her go before bed. Now that school is out, I will start waking her again which I couldnt do before because we were both losing sleep over it and it was affecting her schoolwork. I just dont know what else to do anymore, she just doesnt care. Thank you everyone and I hope someone can offer me some advice or support.

Mary

[Bea]

I was a bed wetter (so was my husband) and the not caring is just a protective mechanism. We late bed betters bloody well do care but can't do ANYTHING about it. This isn't a choice. It isn't laziness. It isn't too much fluids. It isn't not peeing before bed. It's a brain related developmental 'delay' but absolutely on the 'normal' spectrum.

She'll grow out of it. Invest in some appropriate bedding.

BUy some bedding

BTW, there is nothing like disapproval to worsen the problem. I think the pair of you should brainstorm to find an acceptable means of dealing with it during the night that allows every one maximum sleep. At 7, she's plenty old enough to change/remove wet protective bedding so long as you both know what's expected.

I sympathise, but only from the POV of a teased, belittled and embarrassed 7 year old. (edited to add: Not that I'm saying that's anything to do with your situation, just mine)

[knee_deep_with_1]

Thanks Bea, I only get upset with her when I find her still awake in bed already wet before she is even asleep. Although I do get frustrated with her not helping me in the morning but I dont let her see that I am upset. I do let her know that she is old enough to help and to have some responsibility for it but she wont lift a finger to help. I never get mad at her for it, like I said, the only time I get upset is when I find her in a wet bed before she is even asleep because she didnt want to get up to go. Thank you again Bea

Mary

[mama to 2 girls]

Both of my dd's wet the bed still.... dd1 will be 6 in Sept. and dd2 will be 4 is August. Bea gave some good advice... Also coming from a bedwetter (until I was 11 yrs old!) do invest in some proper bedding and perhaps try out some Underjams or Goodnights. I HATE using disposables but at this point it's kind of a necessity for us. I do have a few Happy Heiny's pocket trainers that I use for them but dd1 is such a heavy wetter that I have to stuff it with so many inserts it's huge but at least she is still young enough and she thinks it's funny.

My mom did try taking me to a chiropractor which did seem to help you may want to look into that.

I don't know what to tell you about the wetting the bed before she is even asleep.....DD1 will pee in her Underjams before she goes to bed, which kind of irritates me. Just try to hang in there!

[zeldamomma]

I think the wetting before they go to sleep is a sign of how unlikely the child feels it is that the bed will be dry in the morning.

I agree with pp about investing in goodnights or something similar. They'll save a lot of laundry and will let you both just not think about it for a while.

[columbusmomma]

I liked hearing what Bea had to say
myself and DH were also late bedwetters.
DS was in goodnights until close to 7.5 yrs. He occasionally now wets the bed and is 8. It's hard but your DD will get there! Hang in there!

[alaskaberry]

I was a bed wetter too. I had to wash my own sheets. The thing that really helped me was not drinking water right before bed...and telling myself repeatedly that I would wake up if I had to go pee. Eventually it filtered down into my subconscious.

[rlandnl]

my son just turned 7 last week and he is wet every night too. We might get one dry night every 10 or so days. He wears a goodnight and I would say anywhere from 1-4 times a week he wets through that too. Sometimes I get irritated like if i change the sheets two or three days in a row. I mean I am paying a pretty penny for the stupid goodnights, shouldn't they work? I do have a rubber sheet on his bed, because I don't want the mattress ruined so there's that lol

I can't seem to bring myself to limit his water before bed, because he is like me and needs his water or he gets constipated, and besides he will get up after I put him to bed and drink directly from the faucet lol.

I dont have any advice, but just wanted to say you aren't alone.

[Aquitane]

My daughter is seven and had never had a dry night ever. We have been following a program designed by the Enuresis Center in Farmington Hills Michigan. I have posted about our experience in this forum previously.

Most of the posters told me that she would grow out of it. Perhaps she would have. DH and I just felt inept and that we needed to help her. She would ask every night before bed for me to help her stop peeing at night. It was so sad and pathetic. It was truly making her sad. (We did everything that we thought would be helpful, withholding liquids before bed, getting up in the middle of the night, "natural" remedies.)

We started the program in March and since the end of April, we have not had a single wet night. We are working on improving her sleeping patterns, strengthening her lock muscle, and getting her bladder to hold more urine. There are absolutely no medications involved. (Just a lot of hard work!)

I totally understand how you feel. It is a difficult road. Our daughter would also pee in her Pull-up before she fell asleep sometimes, but wouldn't tell us. It was hard to be sympathetic to her when she did that! She would be all upset about peeing in bed, but then pee ahead of time! We didn't get it!

Wish I could be more help. There is a lot of info. on the web, so I just did a ton of research and we pursued the course we found fit our family.

[ihugtrees]

My brother wet the bed until he was 12 or 13 years old. I've read that frequent squatting can help build up the muscles and help them to hold it through the night...something to add in addition to other steps, perhaps.

[momshelper]

Some children are deep sleepers and miss the cues but healthy children do grow out of it.

If she is wetting whilst still awake have you figured out why she doesn't want to get outta bed n go? Is she nervous or scared of the bathroom at night? Does she have difficulty with a light switch? Is she nervous of the dark? Could a solution be a night-light? Incentive chart? Different toilet seat? Leaving a light on?

Hope something helps

[julucas]

My son has started using a bedwetting alarm that clips to the front of his underwear. When he first starts to wet the alarm goes off and he wakes up and stops going. Then he is able to finish in the potty and change his underwear. Eventually it is supposed to teach him to wake up before he starts going, but for now I will take what I can get. He does not wet the sheets anymore! Prior to the bedwetting alarm I had tried everything else, even chiropractor, and nothing helped one iota. Oh the other thing we do is try to limit embarassment. We don't talk about it to family and friends without his permission. I put an air freshener in his room so it smells fresh. And we NEVER talk about it negatively. I now know he really truely cannot control it. He is doing the best he can, and I am proud of that. Good luck with whatever you decide!

[MJB]

My son is 7 and wets the bed several nights a week. My 4 yr. old does not wet the bed. Our ped. reassured us that it is quite common at this age, and nothing really works to stop it but time. I have him wear a cloth diaper to bed, or the disposable "boxer" pull-ups for sleepovers etc. He is irritated by it but the ped. made him feel a lot better about it.

[jr'smom]

I'm an upper cervical chiropractor and have helped many children 7 and older who are still wetting the bed. (In my office, we've helped over 95% within 6 weeks.) It is usually a neurological problem. A simple evaluation can tell the doctor if the upper cervical (neck) procedure would help. Upper Cervical Chiropractic is more gentle than traditional chiropractic procedures, is completely safe, and improves many other aspects of health as well. You can find more information by searching National Upper Cervical Chiropractic Association (NUCCA). I hope that helps!

[rlandnl]

Originally Posted by jr'smom

I'm an upper cervical chiropractor and have helped many children 7 and older who are still wetting the bed. (In my office, we've helped over 95% within 6 weeks.) It is usually a neurological problem. A simple evaluation can tell the doctor if the upper cervical (neck) procedure would help. Upper Cervical Chiropractic is more gentle than traditional chiropractic procedures, is completely safe, and improves many other aspects of health as well. You can find more information by searching National Upper Cervical Chiropractic Association (NUCCA). I hope that helps!

That is very interesting to know! Would you mind telling me what sort of neurological problems you are talking about? the reason I ask is DS has Asperger's, Sensory processing disorder as well as generalized anxiety, and was born with seizures, of unknown origins for the first 6 months of his life, I have always wondered if the seizures caused any long term damage and if so then this could very well be it.

Also what'sthe best way to find a chiro that can deal with the upper cervical area?

[Cutie Patootie]

Is there a difference in it just being something they will grow out of or something more? My dd just turned 5 last month and I wouldn't think her bed-wetting was a big deal except that she has gone several times before for 2 weeks in a row without wetting at night. Then sometimes she wets twice in a night. I'm . She "poop-learned" LOL at 18 mos. She "pee-learned" around 3.5 and still has accidents. She will go for a month or more without an accident then she will have them twice a day. I don't get it.

[happythistle]

My doc informed me that bed wetting is highly genetic - if there is one or two direct line relatives, the odds go up to like 50% and 75% propensity. I never knew. We will try for the next year to improve the natural methods of teaching DS (4 y/o) better bladder control. However, we are in favor of meds since they are usually short term with great results.
It's definitely a tough one!

[majazama]

I've heard that wetting the bed is a symptom of having pinworms & allergies.

My DD still pees in a diaper every night and she is almost 6. She recently told me that she saw a worm in her poop. I have to get rid of the worms, if that is what she has.. but I'm also going to take her to a naturopath and acupuncturist to get her some help. The Chinese doctor said that she has helped lots of kids stop peeing at night using acupuncture/pressure.

Never thought chiropractic could help, but I should try that too.

I'm having a new baby in a month and not looking forward to continuing to do diapers on my almost 6 year old and a NB. *sigh*

[RiverSky]

When I had an 8 year old who couldn't make it through the night dry, someone on MDC gave me a link to a chart that showed that 15% of 8 year olds still wet the bed. My deep sleeper far preferred to wear a "Goodnite" so that the bed stayed drier and so that it could be discreetly taken care of when we had guests or we traveled. I have a number of nephews who were also very late bedwetters so I always assumed that that had much to do with it. Our pediatric chiropractor and pediatrician didn't think there were any physical reasons for it.

[hillymum]

My almost 6 yr old (end of July) still wears Pampers Pull Ups to bed. His older brother stopped night wetting after he turned 8 so I figure I have another year of diapers at least. I have never worried about it as I know he will gro out of it in his own time.