Originally Posted by zeldamomma
as a symptom of just how uniform all these little boys are. He's my first boy, and I'm not used to how little room there is for a boy to be a little different.
Yes, I do see what you're saying here. I think there is always room, but there are obstacles for your son to consider...
|It does feel sad to me that there's no socially acceptable way for a little boy to be a little different. He hasn't asked me to color his hair, but I know he likes being a little distinctive, who doesn't? But I guess there's not much I can do.
This is something that depends on the kid (boy or girl). The main question is this: if he/she chooses to project a look that is different from the norm, is he/she comfortable in dealing with the way in which others may respond?
My son prefers to wear his hair long (as in VERY). It's blond, shiny and when combed
He is also on the small side, and has delicate features. He is mistaken for a girl on a regular basis. His attitude about this? While he doesn't always appreciate being called a girl, he isn't about to let that change what he wants for himself, period. And while it's extremely important to him to correct strangers about his gender, he is kind and matter-of-fact about it, "I'm a boy. The long hair tends to throw people off." My husband and I will also step in and correct if DS is feeling shy, and he has told us how much he appreciates this. I've asked him on occasion if being mistaken for a girl ever bothers him, and he said to me, "well, yes, but it makes sense I suppose." And when I've asked him if he ever considers cutting his hair for this reason he looks at me like I'm nuts: "I am NEVER
cutting my hair, Mom." Needless to say, I've stopped asking... well, occasionally when I'm trying to brush through the mass of tangles I might cave.
The main thing for me to keep in mind is that, for whatever reason, this is very important to DS. He has always been a little left of center (in more ways than just the hair). I know as he's gotten older, he's become more aware of this as he's become more aware of social norms, but he doesn't tend to swayed to the norm when something is important to him. Although I've made some uncommon parenting choices, I don't think of myself as much of a rebel either, mama. I definitely tend toward the social norms of dress and style (and frankly, not always happily so!). However, my son, in his ability to hold on to who he is despite the fact that it might be inconvenient and irritating sometimes, has taught me a lot.
I'd say if this is something your son would like to explore, go for it! Have fun with it. Devil may care! If you feel it's more your idea than his, wait and see if he doesn't bring it up himself (or some other way of expressing his individual style), and take it from there. And remember, even if your son does happen to resemble his mates physically, I imagine there are many other ways in which his individuality is undoubtedly apparent.
Just my .02 for whatever it's worth!
The best mama!