Tell me that there is hope...

[ice_queen]

I am living in insanity...we have stuff EVERYWHERE. There are piles on every single surface and toys/clothes/garbage/goodwill crap in every corner. Our kitchen is a disaster and the dishwasher broke...the walls are even dirty...I try and try to get ahead and it just never seems to make a difference. I feel lost in clutter and dirty crap. Please tell me that there is hope for people like me? Were any of you like this and now are not? How do I do this? HELP ME.

We are trying to sell the house b/c we have no money and can't pay the bills without being totally stressed out and we are over living like this. We are going to downsize hugely when we can...but we have to sell this place first. We are terrified that this house wont sell and we don't even know how to get ready...

[cappuccinosmom]

Yes there is hope.

Are you (and your family) willing to let go of much of that stuff, including the garbage?

Start with the garbage. If you and the family set aside a time to dig in and get it done, it won't take you as long as you imagine. Get trash bags and your recycling bins, and go room by room, focusing only on trash. Don't let yourself get distracted by tidying other stuff yet.

After that do the same thing for stuff that you're getting rid of. Get it contained and out of the house in the same day. You can do it if you focus and if you are not suffering from an actual disorder that makes it difficult to let go of even useless items (hoarding). If that is a problem, you may need outside help.

Once garbage and the extra volume of stuff is out, you will be able to see a difference when you're tidying and cleaning.

Even having a very clean house that's fully furnished/full of stuff can hinder a sale. Having all your stuff there makes it difficult for prospective buyers to envision themselves in the house. So the more you can actually get rid of the better.

[ice_queen]

Thanks for the advice...we are SO ready to get rid of it...yes!yes!yes!

[zoebird]

next layer after getting rid of the obvious is thinking about where you will be. how muhc volume of your stuff can fit in that space? how far are you moving--do you really want to move it that far? and then even deeper, how do you *really* want to live?

[Cativari]

I have a BIG move coming soon and while I don't have too much stuff I have more then needed. I was having a hard time deciding what was staying and what was getting donated/trashed/sold ect. so I started making a list of bare minimums to set up again and now I'm getting rid of everything but those. Now I don't have to think about what goes, I know if it's not on the list it goes.

[brittneyscott]

I know how you feel and there is hope! I am doing something along the same lines as cativari. I have tried decluttering and cleaning but I seem to get stuck on some items or make decisions about what goes/stays only to turn around and realize it is STILL too much stuff. Instead I am making lists of what we need. Then I pull out everything that isn't on the list. It helps me when I have the time to empty a room and then only put back items on the list. Everything else gets tossed. I have gotten rid of a TON of stuff and our house is looking a lot better but still a long way to go. We're getting ready to sell/move also so I know the stress you are under.

[Dr.Worm]

Use Flylady!!! Go to www.flylady.net She gives lots of advice about moving also has something called a crisis cleaning that will help you get started....there are also message boards. She also wrote a book called Sink Reflections which is very good...her name is Marla Cilley.

[Crayfish]

Just chiming in to agree that the solution lies in getting rid of stuff. Discipline and will power and cleaning up regularly, etc., etc., are only relevant _after_ your possessions are pared down - there's a certain level of "fullness" where it's essentially impossible to keep the house in good shape.

My goal is not only to pare down my possessions until they all fit into storage areas (shelves, cabinets, drawers, closets - no stacks of boxes or stacks of stuff), but until those storage areas are about thirty percent empty.

When the storage areas are about thirty percent empty, you can _always_ put something away. You can put away that teacup without staring blankly at the full shelf, and stacking a couple of glasses, and pushing things further back, and stacking the saucers on the dessert plates, and moving two wine glasses where the saucers were, and finally getting the teacup just perched in there, and realizing that it took you ten bleeping minutes to get the teacup put away. With plenty of space, it will take a second or two to put it away, a couple of minutes to put _all_ the clean dishes away.

And with empty counters (I don't consider counters to be storage areas, so I'd say that they should be almost completely empty), it's fairly easy to wash the dishes, even if the dishwasher is broken. You have plenty of room to stack the dirty ones on one side of the sink, an empty sink to wash them in, plenty of room to plop them on towels or a drainer on the other side of the sink. You're not nervously juggling a sink full of dishes, spraying water on yourself when the spray hits a stacked-high plate wrong, and so on.

All of the work around the house takes several times as long when areas are overfull, and therefore several times less when they're empty. So I'd suggest that the main focus be getting rid of stuff. And if you have to go to somewhat extreme measures, like using paper plates for a month so that you can focus your dishwashing time on disposal time instead, that's worth considering. If it's three months later and you're _still_ using paper plates and the house is unchanged, then that plan didn't work, but a lot of things are worth trying for a month or so.

Crayfish

[phathui5]

You can do it. Just start filling bags. Sort out what you want to give away and what you need to throw away. I always feel better when I declutter the house.

[clutterwarrior]

Originally Posted by Crayfish

You can put away that teacup without staring blankly at the full shelf, and stacking a couple of glasses, and pushing things further back, and stacking the saucers on the dessert plates, and moving two wine glasses where the saucers were, and finally getting the teacup just perched in there, and realizing that it took you ten bleeping minutes to get the teacup put away.
Crayfish

LOL Crayfish you have a way with words....