are gifted children more anxious?

[yentroc]

Hi mamas,

I haven't frequented this forum much and really haven't looked into the definition of "gifted" used here...

But my question is: does "gifted" and anxious frequently go hand in hand?

My five yo dd, is very bright, extremely creative, capable of some pretty abstract and complex thinking and has also always been anxious.

I would say that my dh and I are both gifted and anxious as well.

What got me thinking about this is that she doesn't have "typical" fears that most kids have... Lately she's been panicked about black holes. She feels that she needs to know more and more about how they work because they seem really scary to her. I think black holes were mentioned very very briefly in her Montessori program while studying space and the solar system.

This is just one example of her anxiety, I could go on and on.

I know that it seems in general like the fear of the unknown... but I was just wondering how much had to do with her "giftedness".

Thoughts?

[whatsnextmom]

No, they don't go hand-in-hand. Giftedness runs in both sides of our family but the anxiety only runs in DH's side. My eldest has some mild anxiety. When she was your DD's age, she had more irrational fears about things like black holes. Black holes are scary of course, it's just irrational to panic about them. These days, the anxiety really only pops up when she's physically or mentally exhausted. A calm hand on her shoulder is enough for her to take a deep breath and put things into perspective.... well, that and a nap. My youngest hasn't had such issues at all. It's not to say he's never fearful or worried... he just doesn't get anxious unless it's a real world problem he's faced with at that moment. He takes more after my side (the good and the bad lol.)

I would say anxiety is more in line with personality but it can be exacerbated by the giftedness. They may find more things to be anxious about because they comprehend more things at young ages like black holes.

[quaz]

I see it tied in with OE's.

Think intellectual OE....mind is always going, thinking, analyzing...making connections.

When that is happening, it is quite easy to become anxious.

My daughter was concerned with black holes around the age of 5 also.
Tammy

[yentroc]

Originally Posted by quaz

I see it tied in with OE's.

Think intellectual OE....mind is always going, thinking, analyzing...making connections.

When that is happening, it is quite easy to become anxious.

My daughter was concerned with black holes around the age of 5 also.
Tammy

I'm sorry, what are OE's?

[LynnS6]

OE's = Overexcitabilities, part of a theory by Dabrowski (a Polish psychologist who died in 1980) concerning development.

http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/dabrowski.htm

I think that gifted kids can be more prone to anxiety, very often due to asyncrhonous development. Their minds are often able to grasp things that they are not emotionally ready to process.

My kids are also highly sensitive (overexcitable in Dabrowski's terms, though I'm not that fond of the whole theory of disintegration that he proposed), and that means that 'ordinary' anxieties are sometimes magnified for them.

The sensitivity and the anxiety are both present in both our families. Interestingly though, dh's family has considerably more of the sensitivities and mine the anxieties. Our anxieties (and 'overexcitabilities') tend to be intellectual. Dh's family's tends to be physical.

[carmel23]

Originally Posted by yentroc

I'm sorry, what are OE's?

: Hi Yentroc, :

OE: Overexcitability
http://www.sengifted.org/articles_so...heGifted.shtml

My reading has lead me to conclude that more children suffer from anxiety then most let on/are perceived to be anxious by adults. I think it was something like 1 in 10 kids suffer from anxiety--some hide it, some aren't really taken seriously (people think the child will outgrow it, and I am sure that some do, but a lot grow up to be anxious adults).

Here is a great discussion about anxiety and gifted kids:
http://www.dukegiftedletter.com/arti...ol6no3_ee.html

[carmel23]

Originally Posted by LynnS6

The sensitivity and the anxiety are both present in both our families. Interestingly though, dh's family has considerably more of the sensitivities and mine the anxieties. Our anxieties (and 'overexcitabilities') tend to be intellectual. Dh's family's tends to be physical.

You must make a lovely couple (I'm just teasing).

[darien]

For my dc, it's true. Ds13 has been "officially labeled" as being highly gifted and highly anxious.

Ds5 is terrified of showers, ceiling vents, and self-flush toilets. In the past week, he's had a crying jag about fear of death, and another about wanting to behave at school, but not feeling capable.

I can get very anxious, but am well-practiced at hiding it! Their father deals with his anxiety, IMO, by withdrawing-- physically and emotionally.

[dessismama]

DH and I are both anxious, luckily in different ways. The kids seem calmer in comparison... DD (8) is the most anxious of the bunch; all of the kids are what I would call intense!! My musically gifted 11 yo is the most sensitive of the bunch; he channels all his anxieties into playing music.

[Heavenly]

I have one child with anxiety disorder (and other problems) and he is not gifted. I have one child who is gifted and has no anxiety issues at all. Like every other situation they CAN go together but I wouldn't say they commonly do.

[VisionaryMom]

Originally Posted by LynnS6

I think that gifted kids can be more prone to anxiety, very often due to asyncrhonous development. Their minds are often able to grasp things that they are not emotionally ready to process.

This statement is how I tend to view giftedness and anxiety/worry as well. I remember learning around age 6 that light takes 8 minutes to reach the Earth from the sun. I spent the better part of a year terrified that the sun had exploded, and we didn't know it yet. Eventually my understanding of stars improved, and my worry went away. A few weeks ago, we were talking about why it gets cooler at night, and DS (5) said, "I hope the sun doesn't go out, and we all die!"

DH doesn't have any anxieties about these kinds of things, and I don't see it in DD. DS and I have similar personalities.

In other children, I see concerns about other issues. They just seem amplified with many gifted children, I believe, because they're over atypical issues. Last year, DS dreamed a polar bear was in his room. He woke up, came into our room, and told me he thought that it wasn't cold enough in his room for a polar bear and wondered whether the one from the zoo could make it to our house. "Polar bears usually live where there's more ice, so I don't think he'd make it. Would he?"

OTOH, we've never had the "monster under my bed" type of fear from either of our kids. DD tried it, but I said, "you really think there's a monster in your closet?" She giggled and said no, that she just didn't want to go to bed. That's the other side of the over-thinking, but I think many people would hear the polar bear story and think it odd that my son would have concerns about polar bears.

[isaoma]

I don't have time for a longer post - A few months ago I was telling one of my committee members about dd's (3.5) constant "what if" scenarios. Anyway, she said she had recently read a paper that showed a positive correlation between younger kids who worry with intense left brain activity = giftedness.

Just thought I'd throw that out there.

[yentroc]

WOW! Thanks for all the food for thought, mamas (and HI Carmel )

Like I mentioned, I haven't *really* looked into gifted information until now and it seems like I've got a good start from all of you.

I could comment on each of your posts, but don't have time.

I'll be looking into all the links provided.

[almama]

I think it has less to do with being gifted than personality. I have one child, very analytical, very creative, who puts himself out there and gets a lot of situational anxiety.

I have another, very mathematical and detail oriented, who does not put himself out there, worries about big picture things, but doesn't let it bother him too much (because he holds himself back from a lot of fears). He creates manageable worlds for himself, while my older child grabs every golden apple he can find.

[Linda on the move]

I vote personality. My *just* gifted DD is seldom anxious (less than average) and my twice exceptional DD has an anxiety disorder.

There are MANY things we can do to help kids deal with anxiety -- congnitively behavoiral therapy, breathing techniques, etc. There are several good books on the subject.

Anxiety isn't a good thing, and sometimes when parent label a trait as part of being gifted, they tend to think it is a good thing, it's almost as if they fear helping their kids deal better with anxiety will make them less smart.

[hummingmom]

Originally Posted by Linda on the move

There are MANY things we can do to help kids deal with anxiety -- congnitively behavoiral therapy, breathing techniques, etc. There are several good books on the subject.

Linda, can you recommend some books that would be suitable for children in the 4-6 age range?

I bought a couple that were recommended on various web sites, but they turned out not to be very useful to us. The major problem was that they were evidently written for older school-aged children, and most of the examples in the text weren't within my preschoolers' frame of reference. Some were related to situations that they don't have to deal with yet (e.g. taking tests, public speaking), and then there were some "big bad problems" they'd never even heard of (e.g. divorce, nuclear war). To be honest, I was concerned that the books were just going to give them a bunch of new ideas for things to worry about.

On top of that, one of the books assumed that the child was in therapy, and kept talking about "see your therapist" and "use the techniques your therapist taught you." Gee, thanks! I guess, at this age, I'm looking more for something that works in a preventative way, by encouraging good mental health habits. Sort of like the "anxiety" version of the Thotso positive thinking book (which we love around here ).

I'm not sure if such a resource exists, but if it does, we'd love to have one.

[almama]

Here's a great one: What to Do When You Worry Too Much: A Kid's Guide to Overcoming Anxiety (What to Do Guides for Kids) [Paperback]
Dawn Huebner

[joensally]

Originally Posted by Linda on the move

I vote personality. My *just* gifted DD is seldom anxious (less than average) and my twice exceptional DD has an anxiety disorder.

There are MANY things we can do to help kids deal with anxiety -- congnitively behavoiral therapy, breathing techniques, etc. There are several good books on the subject.

Anxiety isn't a good thing, and sometimes when parent label a trait as part of being gifted, they tend to think it is a good thing, it's almost as if they fear helping their kids deal better with anxiety will make them less smart.

I really, really agree with the notion that the labelling a trait/issue as part of giftedness can lead to not addressing it.

A lot of gifted literature mentions anxiety, so maybe there's a link. There does seem to be a link between giftedness and perfectionism, which can increase anxiety. Regardless of whether the anxiety is part of giftedness in an individual, it warrants intervention.

DS likes this book (pre-read!):
http://www.amazon.com/Little-Mouses-...6469206&sr=8-1

This was okay, but I'm not new to CBT and it might be a good introduction:
http://www.amazon.com/Sometimes-Im-S...9&sr=1-1-spell

With previews:
http://books.google.com/books?id=ArN...ildren&f=false

http://books.google.com/books?id=ba7...ildren&f=false

Using a 5 point scale can also help. There's a book called The Incredible 5 Point Scale that's helpful, but really it's just facilitating a child to quantify and name the worry - a 5 might be a dinosaur eating you, whereas 0 is your happiest, calmest place.

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_no...=5+point+scale

[jilly]

In a really round about way we've found a lot of Arnold Lobel's books great for anxiety. The Toad and Frog books and "Owl at Home" present really funny scenarios that come out of the characters' anxieties. Toad is very anxious / perfectionistic and Frog is often helping him to find a way out of his anxieties, and often its enough to say a line from one of the books to calm my son down when his anxiety is getting overblown, and help him laugh at himself a little bit. We just discovered "Grasshopper on the Road" which does the same for inflexible thinking.

The Freeing your child from Anxiety book is really helpful, too. MY anxious ds will now say to me, "I think that might be my worry brain talking, mom."

Also, try not to get anxious about their anxiety -- it just exacerbates the situation.

[Proxi]

This is just a personal theory based on anecdotal evidence, but I think the "type" of anxiety is different in anxious children. I think your typical anxious child is worried about things that directly relate to them. I think your anxious gifted child is worried about those things, PLUS world hunger, natural disasters, human nature, what they are going to do when they grow up (even though they are only in elementary school), pollution, and of course, black holes. I think in some gifted children this anxiety manifests itself in a need to know and understand more and more and more things.

So I guess my answer (not based on anything scientific) is that no, anxiety is not necessarily more prevalent amongst the gifted. What the child is anxious about varies from the average child, to bright child, to gifted child, to profoundly gifted.