do your kids actually go to sleep right away when you put them to bed?

[anomaly13]

ds1 will be 4 in August and depending on how the day has played out he goes to bed between 7 and 8 most nights. He always puts up a fight too. But he will stay up for hours, sometimes when I go to bed around 10 he is still awake. He stays in his bed, sometimes he will have a book or a toy or a stuffed animal, and he talks to himself and sings song or acts out stories from books or movies.

I don't think it's a big deal but then he will either sleep in a couple hours past everyone else, which makes it hard to get out of the house in the am for our walk or errands, or he wakes with everyone else and is cranky all morning until after his nap. Naps are now always a struggle to get him to take, but he always falls asleep eventually.


So would you keep it how it is or let him stay up with you until either you go to sleep or he falls a sleep. Sometimes I feel bad that he has been laying in bed for hours while dh and I are watching a movie but I need some time to myself everyday, I'm a sham, even if it is only an hour late at night when I should be sleeping anyway.

Is there anyway to get him to be more in sync with his younger brother as far as night sleeping goes, that would be so lovely. Most nights younger brother goes to bed at 7, asleep by 8, up between 6 and 7, naps for 2 hours midday.

[jillmamma]

Maybe you could get both kids ready for bed at the same time, but let the older one have quiet time reading or playing in his room for awhile before lights out? Also, could he be outgrowing his need for a nap? My DD is one year older, and it was about this time last year that she was phasing out her nap, so I started doing quiet time with her in the afternoons instead.

[mizzoh]

Originally Posted by jillmamma

Also, could he be outgrowing his need for a nap? .

i was going to ask the same thing! for us, no more nap meant an earlier and easier bedtime

[Sharlla]

we have a 10 pm bedtime for both boys and a routine. hes usually falls asleep within 10 mins. he sleeps until 8 am or so. he typically does not nap during the day
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[Wild Lupine]

I also wonder if her might be ready to drop his nap.

Before we dropped DD's nap (around age 3) it took her ages to fall asleep. As in an hour or more. Once she stopped taking naps she fell asleep much earlier and much faster.

There was an adjustment period when she didn't seem to be getting quite enough but once her body figured out it needed to get all its sleep in at night time, she started sleeping longer during the night.

Maybe if you don't want to drop his nap entirely, you could limit it to a shorter time.

[AnnieA]

That was my response when I read your title...sometimes DSD 12 will just talk to herself for up to an hour even after DSD 11 has fallen asleep. I guess she has words that still need to get out?

But after reading your post, I would agree with some of the other posters. I think you need to give up the afternoon nap. Maybe replace it with quiet time listening to a book on CD laying in his bed? That will give you some down time but he won't be too awake to go to bed when his little brother goes down.

[karika]

I am a 'no schedule' person here, btw. I just wait for the children to show signs of being tired, then we all go to the bedroom at the same time (we cosleep- dd1 (almost 7) and dd2 (18 mo)). If I want to watch something, I do it in there, on the tv or on the computer with earphones. Since we go to bed when we are sleepy, our sleep times vary from day to day. After they fall asleep, I have an hour or so to myself, though it is in the room with them usually. I read the other responses, and dropping the nap would be good at your child's age. dd1 dropped napping at the age of 2. When she goes to sleep, she sleeps for 10-12 hours straight without waking and has for years. Just offering another perspective. I don't mind the changing sleep schedule personally, since I am sahm I don't feel I need to adhere to the sleep at night, be awake in day thing... I have always been a night owl anyway...

[anomaly13]

ok well maybe we didn't give it enough time but we tried the no nap route and he was mad cranky everyday and somedays he would even ask if he could go take a nap or he would just pass out playing in the afternoon. during this time he did fall asleep about an hour after bedtime, but I think he was only getting 8 or 9 hours of sleep s day.

So maybe nix the afternoon nap and do a quiet time, but stick to an 8pm bedtime for the older one and 7pm for the younger one. I still think some days he will take a nap, be it me asking him to because of his mood or him doing it because he knows he needs it.

i assume that at this age they still need 10+ hours of sleep a day.

[Alyantavid]

Yep. Mine are 8 and 4 (on Friday).

Unless they've just bummed around the house all day, they're usually tired enough by 8 to fall asleep right away. My younger son gave up his naps awhile ago and if he does take one, it's usually late afternoon/early evening and then he's up for hours.

[mizzoh]

Originally Posted by anomaly13

ok well maybe we didn't give it enough time but we tried the no nap route and he was mad cranky everyday .

with ds i do recall there being an adjustment phase. i would agree that 8-9 hours of sleep in not enough for a 4 year old. all kids are different, but my 4 year old generally needs 10-11 hours of sleep at night to be at his best during the day