How important is emotional/physical support?

[rachie]

Don't know if there are any studies done on pregnant women's needs for emotional and physical support through pregnancy (or how they measure that - possibly by level of support and level of depression, or pos/neg birth outcomes, etc...????).

Any good articles on ways be supportive to a friend or family member during pregnancy?

I've just hit a point lately (30 weeks) where I'm having a hard time doing everyday tasks (cleaning, caring for two little ones, cooking, etc.), feeling much more emotional, fatigued, down, frumpy, helpless, etc...

It would be so great if there were ways my family could help me feel more empowered, encouraged, cared for, and assisted (with things I can't do or are difficult at this time). I don't feel like I'm being treated like a pregnant mother - as if I was my "usual" self - expected to do the same things at the same levels.

Help?

[RedOakMomma]

Have you asked for help? I find that my husband and support system assume everything is a-okay unless I totally crash. It's taken me a while to learn that sometimes I need to ask for help before I reach the crash stage. People are so used to me being the get-it-done, take-charge, juggle-it-all person in their lives, that the idea of me needing help can seem a little strange. Heck--it seems strange to my mind's own order of thigns at times.

Sometimes, giving specific help-tasks works. Especially with dh. It also helps to explain (especially to dh and close friends) how I'm feeling, and often they jump in with offers of help or become more tuned-in to the fact that I can't do it all.

Have you googled stuff like "letter to family during pregnancy" or "how to help a pregnant friend"? I know there's a good one out there for moms of twins...maybe you could use that one and revise it?

Your happiness is important. You have every right to lean on people right now.

[chellebee]

hmmm, what comes to my mind are the studies that show that doulas make a difference in labor. http://www.dona.org/resources/research.php

Obviously it's not a super direct route, but a doula is someone on YOUR side, advocating for YOUR wishes, really just being hired 'support.' I find it extremely linkable in that manner. HTH!