Shared Custody Schedule

[lovelygia]

Hi Momma's
I'm new here and still in raw emotion, sad, confused, hurt, beginning part. My soon to be ex is drawing up calendar after calendar for shared custody where I have my son every weekend. I have suggested just every other week, but I can't bare not seeing my son for a whole week. Does anyone do shared custody with a relatively easy schedule? I don't know what todo. Plus, I move out Friday, my son is 3. I'm moving to an apartment 2 miles away from our house on a 6 month lease to start out. We haven't really said anything about the new place to ds. My ex has been staying at his parents. How did you transition right off the bat? Sorry, my head is spinning and this is only the beginning. Thank you.

[greenemami]

If you are aiming for 50/50, I have seen a few different schedules. One I think would work well for younger kids (assuming he is okay spending a couple of nights away from you) or even as something to work up to is:

Monday and Tuesday (overnights) with Mom

Wed and Thursday with Dad

and alternate weekends (Friday, Sat. Sun. overnights).

Is your ex suggesting that you have him only the weekends and and he has him during the weekdays?

As for the rest, well, I am not sure if I even belong here yet- I moved out to my parents house a week ago, but dp and I are still hoping to work things out. Dd is 3 though and has been totally fine with staying at Grandma's so far and hasn't really asked a lot of questions. I hope the move goes as smoothly for you! I can totally sympathize with the "head spinning" feeling btw!

[MissLotus]

Do you have a lawyer? I just hope you don't let your ex determine how the whole thing goes. Do you even want to do shared custody? That's how some states lean these days, but not all. DO find out your legal rights and the options before you agree to anything you don't like or think is good for your child. Don't even start up a visitation schedule you're not comfortable with because that could become the status quo. I would not go so long without seeing my little one for that long either - NO WAY.

Take the initiative because you have rights. It's simply not just up to your ex to say how it's going to be.

[JBaxter]

Originally Posted by greenemami

If you are aiming for 50/50, I have seen a few different schedules. One I think would work well for younger kids (assuming he is okay spending a couple of nights away from you) or even as something to work up to is:

Monday and Tuesday (overnights) with Mom

Wed and Thursday with Dad

and alternate weekends (Friday, Sat. Sun. overnights).

Is your ex suggesting that you have him only the weekends and and he has him during the weekdays?

As for the rest, well, I am not sure if I even belong here yet- I moved out to my parents house a week ago, but dp and I are still hoping to work things out. Dd is 3 though and has been totally fine with staying at Grandma's so far and hasn't really asked a lot of questions. I hope the move goes as smoothly for you! I can totally sympathize with the "head spinning" feeling btw!

This is the schedule we have had for 10 yrs. It can work. I will tell you that my boys will tell you they are a little disorganized because of it but thats about it. I WILL NOT go a week without seeing my boys.

[Ceinwen]

A day on, day off would be WAY too much for my kids.

One schedule I've seen work in a shared custody split is 2/2/3.

[carriemama]

Ours is 65/35, and it has been working pretty well for us and our 2yo DD. She is with her dad Wed-Fri and then every other Sat AM - Sun noon.

Hang in there, you will figure this out. Hugs, mama.

[punchy]

This is generally our schedule:

Ex takes DD Wednesday evenings over night (I pick up after school Thursday) and then he takes her Sat. morning- Monday morning (I pick up after school Monday).

HTH

[lovelygia]

Thanks so much mama's! I love this board so much. I used it before I got pregnant, after I had my DS, and now during this difficult time. Talked to husband last night and we have decided on 4-3's.
Mon/Tues - Mama
Wed/Thurs/Fri-Daddy
Sat/Sun - Mama
Then switches? Better than the schedule that was proposed before. Thank so much, will probably be on here more once I'm in my new apartment and DS is with daddy. I need the support to get through this and this is the only place that feels safe to me.

[Chantelle691]

I'm glad you came up with a schedule that works best for all involved - that's a huge step right there.

Come back and join us once you're settled!