Did anyone else have this false pre-conceived notion that there are all these "choices" for... - Page 2

[poorlittlefish]

I just wanted to apologize for my previous post, I guess I was kind of grumpy earlier.

Good luck to all who are looking for a job now!

[neonalee]

Originally Posted by basje

That said, I don't expect these opportunities to drop in my lap. I am brainstorming idea's for my own businesses that I can run online, thinking about if there is a particular field for my masters that could allow me to telecommute, making an aggressive investment plan and networking my ass off. So far I have no idea where this will get me,

I'm in a tech training class this week and was having a discussion with the instructor (a very successful computer consultant) and another student. And one of the (many) good points from that talk was exactly this. You have to start doing SOMETHING. You won't get anywhere until you start. This talk really got me thinking, but that's a different post Basje - I think this is what we all need to do. Start doing something, anything to start us on the new/different/whatever path to be happier. Doesn't matter if it's changing our company from the inside (if we have that power), changing companies, changing careers. Whatever it is, we need to take that first step and then keep on running! Haha, sounds so much easier then it is! I hope all of us find the first step we need

[laurabfig]

Originally Posted by poorlittlefish

Yes, I enjoy the extras that 2 incomes provide but I am also proud of the fact that we are preparing ourselves for retirement, we have a savings account ready incase of emergencies and we are putting money away for college for our kids. God forbid something bad happen to one of our family members, we will be able to stand on our own 2 feet.

I think that time with our kids is irreplacable and if we could swing it with one of us staying home, while still assuring a stable future, we would. But we can't and that is just the reality right now.

I completely agree. I think that "choices" are all relative....so much depends on your situation in life, where you live, family or financial circumstances, etc. But when some act like their choices are better than others, I feel defensive that our family is choosing to have both of us working, kwim? I run into this A LOT with certain friends of mine. And I do know it is a choice for us, but it is a choice that when I add up the pros and cons, the pros far outweigh the cons with both of us working. As a woman, I feel sort of hard-wired to work outside the home, even though I have kids. But that doesn't mean I necessarily have different values than some of my friends who stay home with their children. Sometimes it is not so much about values, but about who you are as a woman or where your family is at at that point in time. SO many factors weigh in.... but when people begin to make value judgments about our choices, it irks me.

[1jooj]

Along those same lines of creating opportunities by doing SOMETHING, even if it's not the end result today, I think what helped me was recognizing choices that were there. Things I was choosing. I choose the type of car I drive, the clothes I wear, whether I have a high-maintenance hairstyle, what we eat and where, how many activities we sign the kids up for, the temp on the thermostat, etc. I needed to come to terms with who I am and be unafraid to live as myself, without caring about others' judgment.

There were definitely several facets involved in achieving my enviable situation. First, I proved my value as an employee and my willingness to make sacrifices. Then, I didn't complain without proposing a solution. I talked in terms of possibilities and improvements and proposed formal agreements and trial periods. I made commitments and promises. I didn't let my own teams down. I enlisted my supervisor as a primary ally, and then HR as my secondary. I spoke their languages--productivity, results, efficiency. And as I mentioned, I took losses. For my great hours and flexibility, I don't get benefits at all. No health, dental, retirement savings, holidays, PTO.

But I get to work less than full time. And I have a job that feels like a career. And I have room for a life outside that. And I have confidence that I can rise to any challenge life throws at me.

I'm almost 6 months into my arrangement now and I don't regret it. I feel like I have a work arrangement that is alive and moves with the rhythms of my life. It's not rosy every day. But since I made the switch, a couple more coworkers have made similar arrangements. I think economics could be a wind at our backs to drive this change. Just today, I heard more people are quitting their jobs than a year ago. It could be that those who survived the downturn are overworked and burned out. What if the work (and its proceeds) were more evenly divided among able-bodied workers? What if the equivalent of 30 hours a week is in fact a livable way to work?

[laurabfig]

Originally Posted by 1jooj

I needed to come to terms with who I am and be unafraid to live as myself, without caring about others' judgment.

YES!

[madskye]

Originally Posted by 1jooj

I'm almost 6 months into my arrangement now and I don't regret it. I feel like I have a work arrangement that is alive and moves with the rhythms of my life. It's not rosy every day. But since I made the switch, a couple more coworkers have made similar arrangements. I think economics could be a wind at our backs to drive this change. Just today, I heard more people are quitting their jobs than a year ago. It could be that those who survived the downturn are overworked and burned out. What if the work (and its proceeds) were more evenly divided among able-bodied workers? What if the equivalent of 30 hours a week is in fact a livable way to work?

Yes, because the thing is that for most, 30 hours morphs into 40. A 40 hr week morphs into 50 or 60...I think the pace, these days, and the expectations have gotten completely out of control and that plays into more people burning out and quitting. We all know it's not like when our parents were working anymore...

Also, as a child of the 80's, I feel like I was sold a bill of goods regarding working hard for a corporation and being rewarded...after 15 years, I just didn't see the rewards in proportion to what I was giving.

[Skippy918]

Rewards? What are those? LOL. We've been on salary freezes for over 2 years now. Healthcare costs have gone up, so essentially we're making less than what we did 2 years ago.

[GuildJenn]

I think what surprised me the most was how I felt about the choices I did/do have. I thought I'd be more entrepreneurial, but I didn't love the selling myself part of freelance - especially not with a toddler; I was sort of drained already.

I do think the pressure to work long hours is detrimental.

[Skippy918]

I do think the pressure to work long hours is detrimental.

There's still that mentality, that if you put in 50-60 hour weeks, you're dedicated vs. the person who only puts in 40 hours. I'm efficient at my job, so I leave on time. Family first, work second.