My dh and I have been having the same argument and I need some perspective. I stay home with our two boys and I am pregnant with our third, a girl.
My husband is a computer guy and from time to time he will get really into a new game - age of empires, one on facebook I can't remember the name of, and a new one where he builds cities and stuff no idea what it's called. What I do know is it's one where you do one thing, have to wait and then you click around a little more and on and on. He often plays at night when the kids are in bed. I couldn't care less then. I watch my dvr'd shows and we hang out on the couch, catch up on the day - cool with me. What is NOT cool is that in the morning he brings his laptop to the table while the kids are eating. I have asked him not to and he said okay, reluctantly I guess.
So this morning he was doing it again and I brought it up. He got really mad and said things about how I get to facebook during day, he only has a few things he enjoys and how I'm taking it away from him.
All of which really hurt my feelings. One, if he would have kept his word I wouldn't have had to say anything at all, two it's hurtful that he would rather do that than be with his kids. Third, how am I the bad guy for wanting meal times to be imprtant?! And I didn't even know what to say about the "but you get to" comment. I can't freakin' pee by myself and can go a long time without adult interaction. But yeah, I guess I get to be on the computer when I want and he can't because he's working. How do I respond to that? It seems so crazy to me but I guess it's true? I have that luxury but at the cost of a lot of others?! The only equivalent I could think of was that because he is at work he gets to go out for lunch practically every day. And me begrudging him that would be just as ridiculous. But I still don't think that fully communicates. Maybe you bright ladies could help me explain it better?
Do you all have the same or similar arguements?
Thanks for your input.
My husband is a computer guy and from time to time he will get really into a new game - age of empires, one on facebook I can't remember the name of, and a new one where he builds cities and stuff no idea what it's called. What I do know is it's one where you do one thing, have to wait and then you click around a little more and on and on. He often plays at night when the kids are in bed. I couldn't care less then. I watch my dvr'd shows and we hang out on the couch, catch up on the day - cool with me. What is NOT cool is that in the morning he brings his laptop to the table while the kids are eating. I have asked him not to and he said okay, reluctantly I guess.
So this morning he was doing it again and I brought it up. He got really mad and said things about how I get to facebook during day, he only has a few things he enjoys and how I'm taking it away from him.
All of which really hurt my feelings. One, if he would have kept his word I wouldn't have had to say anything at all, two it's hurtful that he would rather do that than be with his kids. Third, how am I the bad guy for wanting meal times to be imprtant?! And I didn't even know what to say about the "but you get to" comment. I can't freakin' pee by myself and can go a long time without adult interaction. But yeah, I guess I get to be on the computer when I want and he can't because he's working. How do I respond to that? It seems so crazy to me but I guess it's true? I have that luxury but at the cost of a lot of others?! The only equivalent I could think of was that because he is at work he gets to go out for lunch practically every day. And me begrudging him that would be just as ridiculous. But I still don't think that fully communicates. Maybe you bright ladies could help me explain it better?
Do you all have the same or similar arguements?
Thanks for your input.
So while I have not had that exact breakfast argument with my dh, we did have something similar over dinner time. He is always texting, texting, texting... even at the dinner table. And I asked him if he could please stop texting at dinner b/c I thought it was really rude.
Every so often I declare that we are not doing computer time while our daughter is awake for a while. It slowly creeps back in over the next few months. We have both separately and together decided that we place face to face interaction with our kidlet as one of our very highest priorities in life. Stupid games (or facebook or livejournal or MDC--my three time sucks) are not allowed to take away from that significantly. Which is not to say that we get no computer time. *ahem* As I am posting right this minute, we do get some. But it is for agreed upon times and they are very limited in duration. Near as I can tell our kid gets more direct parent interaction than any other kid we know and her behavior is absolutely spectacular. 
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