DS has been a pincher ever since he was a baby. He liked to stroke/pinch my breast or my upper arm while he nursed, but since he was so small and it didn't hurt, I never made a big deal about it. 
Fast forward to now...he is 2 yrs. old, and pinching seems to have become an ingrained self-soothing habit with him, but oh my goodness, it hurts! He is not doing it to be aggressive or to lash out when he's upset...it's mostly a repetitive thing he does during cuddles, nursing, or bedtime. In a sense, it seems similar to other habits like thumb-sucking or hair twirling.
In the past, I've tried different things to stop the pinching...saying "no pinch. that hurts mama," "gentle hands" and demonstrating a soft touch, trying to redirect him to pinching a pillow or one of his toys, and even removing him from the breast or walking briefly into another room to get control of myself when he just won't stop. The best I've managed to do is confine his pinching (with constant reminders) to the back of my hands where it doesn't seem to hurt me as badly.
Now that he's older, I feel like there may be a chance to slowly transition this pinching habit into some other, gentler self-soothing habit. Any ideas, or BTDT advice...? I don't know whether it's better to try and replace the habit or just try to stop it?
Fast forward to now...he is 2 yrs. old, and pinching seems to have become an ingrained self-soothing habit with him, but oh my goodness, it hurts! He is not doing it to be aggressive or to lash out when he's upset...it's mostly a repetitive thing he does during cuddles, nursing, or bedtime. In a sense, it seems similar to other habits like thumb-sucking or hair twirling.
In the past, I've tried different things to stop the pinching...saying "no pinch. that hurts mama," "gentle hands" and demonstrating a soft touch, trying to redirect him to pinching a pillow or one of his toys, and even removing him from the breast or walking briefly into another room to get control of myself when he just won't stop. The best I've managed to do is confine his pinching (with constant reminders) to the back of my hands where it doesn't seem to hurt me as badly.
Now that he's older, I feel like there may be a chance to slowly transition this pinching habit into some other, gentler self-soothing habit. Any ideas, or BTDT advice...? I don't know whether it's better to try and replace the habit or just try to stop it?
). I guess I need to be more specific that I'm looking for encouragement to stand my ground for however long it takes and to put my foot down with his other caregivers (mainly my parents) to nip this in the bud. AND, mostly, for ideas on other ways to give him gentler options for self-soothing and/or for me to provide more of a calming atmosphere. He is definitely a child that needs some assistance calming down.
If he is half-asleep and starts pinching unconsciously, or if he is sick and fussy, or whatever...it seems extreme to do anything other gentle corrections such as holding his hand. Otherwise, yes, I agree...to set him down, walk away, etc. etc.
I used to always play with their fingers and kiss the palm of their hand...ahhhh memories, yeah and I did it mostly to keep that free little hand from inflicting some kind of evil on my other boob), play little finger games....just keep those fingers busy. If he really needs a new soothing technique then help him find one. One of my kids used to crunch the edge of her diaper right at the leg (omg, its killing me with cuteness remembering all this) while she nursed. She would hum as she squeezed the daiper.
and explain the plan again. maybe? maybe not. good luck with that. Sometimes it is easier to get our kids to break habits than to get our family to. 
