Regular sleep times

[Tattooed Hand]

So I read the No Cry Sleep Solution in the attempt to get DD to sleep without me always being there and maybe even be able to get someone else to put her down. I'm starting with a part time nanny and wanted to get a little space. DD has no regular schedule. She's pretty erratic in terms of when she wants to sleep. The book encourages putting them down for naps and the night at regular intervals and to do the nap put down earlier than we do it (around 9pm). Well, I've been trying for weeks and it just does not happen. In fact, I am tearing my hair out because I feel like I've spent the last 3 weeks doing nothing but trying to get her to sleep.

We have had some success with me being able to leave the bed for her naps, but do you think it's a disaster that I can't get her on a schedule? What have your experiences been like?

DD is also very sound sensitive and does not take a bottle.

[mom2happy]

My babies never had sleep schedules.
There was just no "getting them to go to sleep"
They slept when they were tired and I basically just would put them down when they were asleep or lie down with them till they were fast asleep. Sometimes it would only be 20 minutes about 4 times a day.
It was hard.
I would be great to have one of those babies who takes a morning and afternoon nap at certain times.
Im on my third now and she's 6 weeks old.
Im curious to what others will say because I was thinking of posting for advice on this too.

[akind1]

I haven't read the NCSS book, so can't offer advice for it.

I put DS down when he's obviously tired for naps (rubbing eyes, cranky, etc) this may or may not happen after a feeding. Today was a little rough, because he was obviously tired, but wouldn't sleep in arms at all. so I do what I normally do, which is lay him in his crib, calm, and turn on the mobile. He cried when I first laid him down, but as soon as I turned on the mobile he got excited. Once he seemed happy I left the room, and he calmed down (from being excited) and eventually (I think it was 5 minutes or so) he fell asleep sucking his thumb.

We only use the crib for naps, mostly because well, we have one, and it has the mobile which is actually pretty helpful I think, in terms of helping him calmly go to sleep.

For night time, it is a similiar process - I nurse him and then lay him down in the co-sleeper. He is usually either very asleep or drowsy at this point, and just rolls to his side and sleeps. Now, we have evenings where this doesn't last long, maybe 20 or 30 minutes, and he wakes crying. I get him, rock him back to sleep (he doesn't take the boob for comfort so much, but may suck his thumb), and lay him back down. This might repeat a time or two, but not three. Then he is usually down for the night, sleeps till 4 a.m. then I bring him in bed with us to eat and sleep to 7 or 8.

I think the key is to stay calm and offer comfort. If you aren't available, is your DH able to calm and comfort baby to sleep?

as far as the schedule goes, I think it might be more stressful to both of you to force one. We follow DS's cues and he has sort of set his own schedule, although I think I like calling it a routine better.

does your DD require absolute quiet, or is she ok with white noise or intrumental music? if one of the latter, maybe that may help keep her asleep once you leave the bed? does she take milk any other way? cup, sippy, or spoon?

[busymama77]

My 3 month old is starting on a pattern of morning, afternoon and late afternoon nap times but I think it has a lot to do with the fact that he goes to daycare full time. He's been going since he was 9 weeks old and shortly thereafter, fell in to a pattern. He keeps it pretty well on the weekends but since we're always on the go as I WOH, he sleeps in the car or in a carrier - it isn't always in his crib.

We also swaddle him, rock him, and use the paci at times to help him fall asleep if he's 'fighting' it. Like this morning, he had already been fed, wasn't wet or anything like that, but as soon as I picked him up, swayed with him for a little bit with paci in his mouth, he fell alseep - so deep that I was able to transfer him to his pumpkin seat and take him to daycare without him waking up.

[LadyCatherine185]

My DS didn't get a predictable "schedule" to his sleep/naps until closer to 9 months old, and then it changed again around 10/11 months when he dropped down to one nap a day. It has since changed/evolved time-wise, he used to go down around 10 for nap (he is up at 6 in the morning) and now doesn't go down until 12/1.. Trying to put your DD on a sleep schedule at such a young age is pointless. Their sleep patterns change and evolve so much the first year and into the second. I believe in NCSS she encourages you to watch for your LO's natural rhythms and then try to structure the day around them. Trying too hard to change them is just going to result in a lot of frustration. Go with the flow, make your life easier.

[Tattooed Hand]

I'm trying to go with her natural rhythms, but they are all over the place.

If you just go with the flow, how do you ever makes plans to do ANYTHING?

[Knitting Mama]

Personally, I just let people know that I might be late or have to cancel if she's having a complete meltdown. Otherwise, Cecilia sleeps best on me anyway, so oftentimes when we go do stuff she naps in my arms or in the wrap or Mei Tai.

[LadyCatherine185]

We didn't make any plans to do anything for awhile... the times we did, we just brought DS along and hoped for the best. Sometimes he'd nap in the car, sometimes he'd surprise me and nurse to sleep wherever we were, or fall asleep being worn in the ergo... Sometimes he would stay awake and alert and look around and be fine and would nap later on. We kept any outings short, and always left if things got too much.

[mtnmoonmama]

Originally Posted by Tattooed Hand

I'm trying to go with her natural rhythms, but they are all over the place.

If you just go with the flow, how do you ever makes plans to do ANYTHING?

Who would've ever thought something like sleep could cause so much frusteration and consume so much of our days! My babe is 1 month younger than yours and he is really predicatable with needing a nap after he's been awake for 2 hours. All the plans I make are for "when T wakes up" and I try to be ready to go and know that I have limited time.

This time when they are babes goes SOOOOO fast that it will be over before you know it. I remind myself of this constantly and try to slow down. That being said, yesterday was a frusterating day that I just couldn't get anything done - I couldn't put my babe down and he wasn't going in for his nap easily - the sink was full of dishes and my kids needed attention too....so, I strapped T on and we all went for a walk. It was lovely. T slept on me, was rested when we got home and I felt much better to have gotten some exersize!

This too shall pass....

[MamieCole]

Originally Posted by LadyCatherine185

We didn't make any plans to do anything for awhile... the times we did, we just brought DS along and hoped for the best. Sometimes he'd nap in the car, sometimes he'd surprise me and nurse to sleep wherever we were, or fall asleep being worn in the ergo... Sometimes he would stay awake and alert and look around and be fine and would nap later on. We kept any outings short, and always left if things got too much.

Except add: sometimes DS2 will fight sleep (no matter if we are home or out and about) and gets super cranky and screechy. aka LOUD

I would live to be able to just stay home all day and follow DS2's pattern of nurse, sleep, nurse, play, nurse, sleep...but he has an older brother who likes to leave the house occasionally. So we do the best we can. Sometimes (often times) we have to cut our visits short, sometimes we get to our destination and DS2 is just having none of it and we have to go right back home. (for his comfort, as well as the other people around)

I'd say 80% of my typical day is spent on some aspect of DS1 or DS2's sleep. This too shall pass.

[MamieCole]

Originally Posted by mtnmoonmama

Who would've ever thought something like sleep could cause so much frusteration and consume so much of our days! My babe is 1 month younger than yours and he is really predicatable with needing a nap after he's been awake for 2 hours. All the plans I make are for "when T wakes up" and I try to be ready to go and know that I have limited time.

This time when they are babes goes SOOOOO fast that it will be over before you know it. I remind myself of this constantly and try to slow down. That being said, yesterday was a frusterating day that I just couldn't get anything done - I couldn't put my babe down and he wasn't going in for his nap easily - the sink was full of dishes and my kids needed attention too....so, I strapped T on and we all went for a walk. It was lovely. T slept on me, was rested when we got home and I felt much better to have gotten some exersize!

This too shall pass....

Didn't see this til after I posted.

[BetsyS]

You know how everyone has that one thing that just sends them over the edge? For me, it's the cry of a tired baby. I just hate it, hate it, hate it. That, "I'm so tired, but I can't figure out how to fall asleep" cry that just reeks of desperation and despair.

I do everything in my power to prevent that, cause I hate it that much.

Or maybe I have the only babies that do that? Mine would never just put themselves to sleep. Each of my babies has laid his head down and fallen asleep *wherever* exactly once. And they were sick at the time. Instead, they just arch and cry and wail and moan and make themselvs miserable until I helped them get to sleep. So, I helped in whatever way I could.

A regular routine helped in that. By around 6 months old, they were sleeping, oh, 3-4 times a day. For my babies, they stayed awake about 2 hours at a time (the first awake time was a little shorter, and the last awake time a little longer). But, I knew that their awake time was around 2 hours, so I'd watch the clock, and around that time, I'd do what it took to get them to sleep. One liked to nurse to sleep. One liked to be swaddled, then laid in a bed with a mobile. They both would sleep in the car after about 6-7 months, so that worked as well.

I never worried about how long they slept. My goal wasn't long naps, remember. It's just preventing that horrid "I can't fall asleep" cry. So, even if they slept 20 minutes, that's fine with me. It just pushes the next nap up that much sooner.

For my family, this definitely works. It's routine based, which means the actual times are different every day, but it works well, and it prevents those awful cries.

[kismetbaby]

I know there are babes that can fall asleep whenever and wherever, but my guy is not one of them! We have to be at home and nursing in bed. period. Sometimes he'll fall asleep in the car if I get the timing/mood just right, but he doesn't transfer at all. And he's definitely cranky if he doesn't get his two naps and isn't in bed by 8:30pm. So, as others have said I keep all plans loose. . .usually I know he'll be awake and happy btw noon and 2pm so I'll plan stuff for then, but of course the day I plan something is the day he takes a crazy long nap or won't nap till late, etc. I miss many playdates and lunches this way. But people understand. Sometimes, I will wake him, if what we have planned is important or he's already been asleep for awhile. Otherwise, my routine is totally ruled by his. . .I figure this won't last that long and I might as well just go with the flow.

As for bedtime, we are currently in some sort of weird place. . .I think its developmental as he just started crawling, but suddenly he doesn't want to fall asleep. I have spent hours each night the last week trying to get him to fall asleep. Argh. Its so frustrating laying there with a babe I know is sleepy but just not sleeping, when I want to finally have a little quiet time to myself before I go to bed! We co-sleep and I can't leave him in our bed if he's awake, so I get stuck there. I'm not sure what to do about this myself. . .I'm hoping it will pass. So far, he still naps ok, so that's a blessing.

[colsxjack]

Our DD is now 11 months. She has a routine, but not a full schedule.
It took us a while to get where we are at now. It also took a lot of observation and increased comfort in reading our baby, etc. It is mainly the work of my wife. But we have tried to read the baby's needs and then help her meet her needs.

Now that she is on 2 naps a day it is easier. Her routine:
*wakes up anywhere from 7-8:30am
*about 2-2.5 hrs later has a nap.
*sleeps either 40mins or 80mins. Used to be 20-40, but consistently about 50% of the time lately it has been 80mins and the other 50% of the time it is 40min naps.
*has her second nap of the day about 4 hours after waking from 1st nap.
sleeps for 30-40mins. On the very rare day she will sleep 2 cycles for 80mins.
*about 3-4 hours later goes to bed for the night (well, stays in bed but wakes up for a nurse or a cuddle throughout the night).

She will never just go to sleep where she is. We help her go to sleep or she will just stay awake and then become irritable and miserable. For naps we play a lullaby CD that was a gift. She used to fight it all, but now she has resolved herself to the cues and knows she needs a nap. She is happier with a nap and I believe she knows that, just needs help getting there. We play the CD and hold her a sway with her for a couple of songs. She will put her head on our shoulder and whine a bit and then fall asleep. Then we carry her to the room and put her to bed. She has a sound machine on "ocean waves" in her room that we have used since like day 2 of her life. She used to sometimes wake up when we put her down and we had to pick her up again and rock her and try again. But we wouldn't come back out of the room. Now most often we just put her in the bed and she rolls on her side and goes to sleep.

For bedtime my wife puts her to bed. If its a bath night we give DD a bath and then my wife changes her diaper, puts on her pj's, reads a book and cuddles and nurses to sleep. This is always done in the bedroom with the lights down low and has become a routine.

But now we have to keep watch and learn how to know when DD needs to go to one nap a day. Her sleep cues are pretty subtle until she is well past due.

[jennybear]

DD is on a routine and is much happier than when she sleeps wherever/whenever. She goes to bed at 7pm, gets up around 7am, takes a 2-ish hour nap at around 9am and takes another nap around 2pm.