Apartment?

[AFWife]

Does anyone have experiences having a HB in an apt? Any Do's or Don'ts I need to know?

Someone in my DDC said to keep quiet and not mention it to anyone associated with the apt (neighbors or anything) because it's been known to blow up.

[TabithaB]

I don't have any experience in the matter yet, but there are some horror stories out there about water mishaps. My plan is to put my pool in another pool (the kind with the collapsible sides just in case and for peace of mind).

On mentioning it to people, I am vague and don't usually go into details with people that aren't close just because I don't want them gossiping about my birth or making judgment about me when they don't really know me. Good or bad, these people are going to be your neighbors for a while. And Landlords and property managers may be worried about liability issues. (ie. water damage, carpets, sterility, etc.) I probably wouldn't spread the news too much..

[laurata]

I've had homebirths in rentals twice. The first time in a house in San Francisco (there is like 6 inches between houses) and the second in a condo. I didn't mention it to any neighbors, I just did my own thing. It wasn't a problem. I was more worried when I had a HB in my own home, because my neighbors had complained that they could hear "echo-y" kid noises and didn't like us much. AFAIK, they didn't hear anything either.

[Annoia]

I did. My second was born in an apartment (SMALL!), and this one is planned in a rental house. I didn't (and haven't) told anyone associated with the apartment/rental aspect of it (like landlords, or neighbors I'm not friends with). I just did my thing.

I don't do water births, tho. And I have read about the pools exploding and making a mess, but I'm not sure if that's a big concern (like, how often the pools leak).

[jennica]

We're having an apartment birth too and I am conflicted about whether to mention something to our neighbors or not. I had a fast birth with ds and I was very loud, and our walls are paper thin. I feel like if I don't warn our neighbors the police could be called and that would really be awkward in the moment. I also don't want to alert anyone that we are having a homebirth. I think we may just tell them we are planning a natural birth and staying home as long as possible so if they hear anything not to worry. Not sure if that would work or make sense to people, but it's all I can think of.

[jaylily]

My homebirth was in an apartment and it went just fine. I'm sure some people may have heard me screaming when I was pushing my daughter out early in the morning (it woke my son up, lol), but that was only a few short moments and no one said anything. I didn't have a water birth but I did labor a tiny bit in the tub (where my daughter was born!) I actually even labored mostly at home with my son even though he was born in a hospital! So I wouldn't be too worried really.

[AFWife]

I've heard of people putting a sign on the door that says, "Homebirth in progress. Midwife in attendance."

[thenaturefreak]

We had our first in a 2nd floor condo that we were renting. Besides our landlord (who was super cool and excited about the baby being born there), we did not tell any of our neighbors. The baby was born at 3am and I made no effort to keep quiet and no one mentioned anything to us about it.

Honestly I wouldn't bother saying anything to anyone there. They don't need to be told, and from our experiences living in apartments/condos, you hear a lot worse things than birth.

If you are concerned about someone coming while you are in labor, I don't see anything wrong with putting up a sign.

[jumpmama]

I would put up a sign too. You shouldnt know your neighbours "that" well. LOL. We had our DD in a house..in june, so the windows were open in the middle of the afternoon. I am sure everyone heard me but, no one mentioned anything or acted weirdly..and no cops!

[L J]

I lived in a downtown, "hippie" area apartment during the birth of my first son. I told the guy upstairs that I was having him at home, because we chatted occasionally anyway. I didn't tell the girl across the hall, because I didn't really like her. He was born in the early am - the guy from upstairs left a card taped to the door later than day congratulating us, so he obviously heard, but he knew what was up. It wasn't the kind of neighborhood where anyone called the cops for loud screaming, no matter what the reason.

This time, we are living in a duplex, and I have never even spoken to the people on the other side. Small town, no one in the neighborhood speaks to each other, really very depressing. I don't like it here, but that's another topic for another forum. Anyway, I think I'm going to let my landlord, who I am cool with, know that we are having the baby here, and let him handle telling the neighbors for me. He's out and about a lot, cutting the grass, fixing things up, so I figure he'll talk to them before I get around to it.

[peainthepod]

I had my homebirth in a Brooklyn brownstone apartment. Despite sharing walls with a family on each side and one family above us, none of our neighbors heard a thing. I pushed for two hours and am pretty sure I got fairly loud, but no one had any idea. You should have seen the look on their faces when they asked which hospital we had the baby in and I told them our bedroom!

I wouldn't (and didn't) tell anyone in advance, personally. It seems like an invitation to nosiness and general trouble. You might make a little sign for the front door that says something like, "Birth in progress: Please do not disturb" or, if you're uncomfortable with that, just "Please do not disturb" to keep people from bothering you.

My experience was super positive and I wouldn't (won't) hesitate to have my baby in a rental again. There was pretty much no sound insulation in our apartment--I could clearly hear my upstairs neighbors' conversations most of the time. And still, no one had a clue until we told them.

As for the birth pool aspect, it definitely depends on the building. We put ours in the living room and felt fine about it, because we had had parties there before with many many people standing around, and figured that if the floor could support them, it could easily support a small filled pool (we have the smaller version of the La Bassine).

[peainthepod]

I should add that birth screaming and sex screaming can sound reallllllly similar at times, so...maybe that's why no one called the cops even if they heard you.

[laughymama]

We'll be birthing in an apartment in August!

I don't plan on saying anything to the managers or owner about it. My neighbors downstairs know our plans. There are a couple of college guys living above us so they might get a bit freaked out if I turn out to be loud but I'm thinking they'll assume it's just really loud sex noises.

We plan on putting a sign up. Something like, "Please Do Not Disturb, Laboring Mother" or something. So if there IS any issue it will just seem like we haven't left for the hospital yet.

[AFWife]

We're on the ground floor so I'm not worried about using a pool (well, other than where the hell I"m going to put it)

I don't know my neighbors so I won't be telling them.

I'll probably just do the sign thing. Homebirth with a midwife is totally legal here and my DH knows our rights (should someone call the cops or something) so I feel comfortable on that front as well.

[Partaria]

This is a great thread- I had been wondering the same thing. We live on the second floor, and I'd kind of like to have a home birth, but wasn't sure about the logistics.

I do have one question- I've read that most midwives will help clean up the birth area, including starting a load of laundry. We actually don't have laundry in our building- we go to blocks to a laundrymat.

Is it "uncool" to ask the midwife to go there? Like is that asking too much?

[Sfcmama]

We ended up transferring but I labored at home in our small apt for about 24 hours. I figured that most of our neighbors had seen that I was pregnant and would figure out what the noise was all about. I didn't have a birth tub but I would check your rental agreement about waterbeds, etc. because a leaky mishap could become very problematic with the landlord.
My other tip is about laundry. I turned out to be a barfing birther and we were in no way prepared with enough quarters for the washer or back up laundry (pillows, blankets).
Best wishes, mama!

[almadianna]

i have had a HB in an apartment and I didnt have to keep quiet about it at all... I had a tub (we were on the 1st floor) and didnt tell the management about it.

[MaerynPearl]

LOL I have to agree about birth screaming and sex screaming...

generally people will freak out if you start screaming things like "FIRE!" "NO! STOP IT! GET OFF ME!" or something like that

but if you are just moaning REALLY loud or screaming "OH OHHHH OOOOOOHHHH"... and they cannot see the context... they wont bring it up for fear of embarrassment about your loud sex.

[Pippi L.]

I gave birth to my first in a basement suite and the owners upstairs definitely heard me. She thought it was great when I told her the baby had been born at home (we were going to tell them before because it was so easy to hear, but the baby came early so it never came up). She really wanted to have a homebirth when she got pregnant and her husband was hesitant. She thought it might be a push in the right direction She even bragged about her tenants having a baby in her house to her friends.

This time we're living in a co-op apartment. My doula lives in a unit upstairs and I think most parents here have had homebirths or at least midwives so it isn't weird at all. I live in a pretty hippie, homebirth-friendly area. It's gotten to the point where I just assume people are having a homebirth unless they talk about going to the hospital.

[mangopaco]

My wife and I just had a home birth in an apartment in Astoria, NY. We did not tell landlord or neighbors in advance because we didn't want to explain it and didn't want the landlord to worry.

Everything went well. My wife started having contractions at 10pm. We slept in between contractions throughout the night (every 5-15 minutes) and by 6:30am the next day she was in active labor. After five hours of active labor in the birth tub, she pushed for about 45 minutes and we had our first child, my son Santiago.

I am sure my neighbors heard her labor noises throughout the night and especially the early day time active labor contractions. But, no one has mentioned it and no one called the cops on us.

I did think to myself at one point, This sounds a lot like sex. And then I patted myself on the back - in the neighbors' minds I can work it for 14 hours. Sting would be jealous.