The "Whatever" Thread - Page 5

[Baby_Cakes]

Mummoth -
I love rollercoasters but have become a wuss over the past few years. We are going to Hershey Park in July and I do want to ride the rides...But I'm scared and would love an excuse not to, as well!


lyterae - It's not over till the fat lady sings! I have to say, I was expecting your temp to either drop a lot or stay the same -- but of course it has to be completely unclear and cause all sorts of frustrating emotions. Remember. Take a big deep breath and say, "WHATEVER!"

I think if I PIAC this cycle and it's a BFP, I'm keeping it to myself for a little while. Just me. Maybe a week or something. I want to enjoy it a little before my DH assumes the fetal position on the floor (ahem, echo) which I know he will. I know he'll be ok once he takes it in, but until then it's going to be a little bit of a shock. Even though he KNOWS the risks of the tomfoolery right now, he would still be a little if it happened so quickly. I wouldn't though. I'd feel !!

We spent the day in NYC yesterday for our anniversary (12 years) and had the most amazing day. After DD went to bed at night, and we totally threw caution to the wind. DH didn't even ask if it was safe, lol, we just went for it. Squee! I know it's still a long shot but of course with whatevering, it just is what it is. I'm not invested in anything...

Oh - For DD we bought DH's parents Grandma and Grandpa to "bee" shirts from cafepress, they had little bees on them. It was a great reveal, and we waited till 9 weeks. This time, I'm thinking, no huge announcement w/the whole family gathered. I think I'll just ask MIL how she would feel about watching 2 kids next spring on Fridays (right now she just watches DD when I work). I think that would be a great way to tell her and then she can share w/everyone else.

But...I've got no idea how I want to tell DH! Time to brainstorm!

[lyterae]

Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes

lyterae - It's not over till the fat lady sings! I have to say, I was expecting your temp to either drop a lot or stay the same -- but of course it has to be completely unclear and cause all sorts of frustrating emotions. Remember. Take a big deep breath and say, "WHATEVER!"

Me too! I did check my last pregnancy chart and I had a similiar temp drop at 12DPO and then it went up again at 13DPO. I don't know, it's hard not to obsess at this point in time. I just want to go home and go back to bed.

[MarineWife]

echo ~ I didn't even know you were TTC last month. I must've been really out of it. That's probably why your dh reacted the way he did. Didn't expect it to happen so quickly.

Originally Posted by lyterae

Me too! I did check my last pregnancy chart and I had a similiar temp drop at 12DPO and then it went up again at 13DPO. I don't know, it's hard not to obsess at this point in time. I just want to go home and go back to bed.

That temp is still very high, still in the triphasic range. I wouldn't even consider that a temp drop.

I went to bed last night thinking there's no way I could handle another baby and then started imagining what it would be like to adopt a 2-3 year old girl in a couple of years. My dh should be home in 4 weeks.

[pinkgeek]

Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes

I feel like he's definitely taking risks when it comes to DTD unprotected, which is awesome b/c he knows that there's a chance we could conceive and is obviously ok with that, but really -- we're just having fun. I love it. I love that there's no pressure, that we're both just being frisky and not "worrying" about one thing or another either way. We shall see if my wiles work on him again in another day or so, but even if not, we're in a good place.

Sometimes I feel like this is how my DH is, since WD is our only method of BC right now, but other times it's hard to tell. At the same time, we are getting back to a place where we are having more fun and being friskier. My libido suffered a lot from 13+ years on the pill and some significant weight gain over the last 5 year (although I'm down 28 pounds from last summer.)

Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes

I think if I PIAC this cycle and it's a BFP, I'm keeping it to myself for a little while. Just me. Maybe a week or something. I want to enjoy it a little before my DH assumes the fetal position on the floor (ahem, echo) which I know he will. I know he'll be ok once he takes it in, but until then it's going to be a little bit of a shock. Even though he KNOWS the risks of the tomfoolery right now, he would still be a little if it happened so quickly. I wouldn't though. I'd feel !!

But...I've got no idea how I want to tell DH! Time to brainstorm!

I do like the idea of having a little time of just you knowing. And my DH would definitely be in the fetal position for a bit! LOL!

Even though we aren't actually trying yet, I think I already know how I would tell DH. It would be the same way he surprised me when he proposed, but with a BFP (digital, so no explanations would be needed, LOL)

[lyterae]

Originally Posted by MarineWife

That temp is still very high, still in the triphasic range. I wouldn't even consider that a temp drop.

I went to bed last night thinking there's no way I could handle another baby and then started imagining what it would be like to adopt a 2-3 year old girl in a couple of years. My dh should be home in 4 weeks.

thank you MW.

We've also talked about adopting, we had actually planned to start our licensing process for foster care this summer. I'm not sure what the plan is now though..

How long is your DH home for?

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by lyterae

We've also talked about adopting, we had actually planned to start our licensing process for foster care this summer. I'm not sure what the plan is now though..

How long is your DH home for?

The last time I talked seriously to dh about adopting (which was several years ago) he was absolutely opposed to it. I don't know why but he was adamant. I have brought up foster care a few times and he just sort of groans. If we ever decide to adopt, I want to do foster-adopt because that seems to be where there's more need.

I would really like to do foster care whether we ever adopt or not but I'm waiting until my youngest is a bit older. I had some experience with that when I provided emergency kinship care for a family in my dh's unit when the mother got arrested and the father was deployed. That was a bit crazy because I'm not a registered foster parent. I've never been through any training for that and it was a very sensitive situation.

I have no idea how long my dh will be home this time. It all depends on what his next unit is doing and I can't get any info on that. He should be home for at least a month since he's officially doing a PCS move and gets to take extra leave.

[akind1]

MW - are you actually moving? I am a Marine Corps kid, and we were stationed, well, in eastern NC for 12 years or so. they just kept moving dad to different units. Then Okinawa for 4 years. Hopefully he can be back for a good amount of time. Adopting would be tough, but I knew some great foster parents when I lived there. My parents went to some sort of intro-seminar, but I think decided not to foster after that (I was pretty young then, and my memory is fuzzy)

I wouldn't mind adopting, but I have the feeling that DH isn't too keen on the idea either.

Lyterae, keep breathing and "whatever"ing. My mantra is what will be, will be, and whether you test tomorrow or next week, the answer has already been determined, iykwim?

I'd like to keep a positive test to myself for a bit, but don't know if I can! I think I would tell my internet buddies though. . .which might leak it to DH, because sometimes he reads here too.

I love rollercoasters! I don't know when I'll have to opportunity to go again, but there is a new one at Carowinds this summer . . .

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by akind1

MW - are you actually moving?

As of right now it looks like my dh should be able to just move to a different unit here at Camp LeJeune. That will give us 3 more years here and then we'll probably move somewhere else. The only reason we want to stay here is because we bought a house 3 years ago and the market is so bad right now we don't want to try to sell it. He hasn't gotten anything in writing yet, though, so things could change. ATM, he's in Oklahoma doing a career course. Since the course is over 20w long it's considered a PCS move. So, according to the Marine Corps, he PCSed to OK and will PCS back here when he's done there. We did not go with him to OK because it was silly to move the whole family and try to do something with our house just to move back in 6 months.

[lilcrunchymama]

Can I join this thread??? Pretty please

Here is my background story...

I am 24. I have one DD that's 2. My boyfriend has a DS that's 6, almost 7. We both want at least one child together. I have been ready for the last 1.5 years, but he wants to wait. I am currently separated from my ex, but not fully divorced, even though we completely live our lives separate and apart since we have been this way for over 2 years. So, that's the main reason why DB wants to wait.

We currently use the WD method with condoms. We have a lot of "barely escaping" moments and I'm actually surprised I haven't gotten pregnant yet. He is a big "whatever happens, happens" fan. So, we are both not as careful about avoiding. Sometimes he won't even stop to WD, but mostly right after my AF and that's it. He thinks that point in my cycle is "safe". I tend to agree, because I don't even know if I ovulate.

I can't take birth control because of the side effects it causes for me. I have recently lost 10 pounds that put me back at my pre-pregnancy weight that I was when I got pregnant with DD. So, at this point, anything is possible.

Right now I am waiting on AF. It should be due around Thursday to Saturday. I have anywhere from 28-day-spot-on cycles to 34-day-we're-a-little-late cycles. The only reason I'm even here is because for the last 3-4 days I have had severe boob pain. It feels like my boobs are engorged. They are visibly larger. My DD has also been touching them more than normal and I wince every time she even grazes them. I have had slight cramping, but more of a tugging sensation where my uterus is located. So, looks like I'm playing the waiting game!

Whatever happens will happen, we will both be happy about it. But, one thing is for certain that my boobs haven't hurt this bad since I was pregnant with DD.

[onetwoten]

Hello Christie! Nice to see new people! I'm hoping we can keep tihs thread going for awhile, and so far it looks hopeful!

lyterae: I was thinking the same thing as MW- that the drop doesn't look all the low, and I wouldn't discount anything yet. And as someone else mentioned... this could really help to clarify both yours and DH's feelings on the thing. My DH was not on board for ttc anytime soon as early as april, and then we had a possible oops, and when I took a test and it was negative I could see his disappointment. Since then, he's totally gone lax about avoiding. I think he just needed to face the possibility to see that he really was ok with it happening if it happened. And so maybe if you don't get it this cycle (which I think is still possible btw...) it will at least help you guys to see how you would truly feel about a pregnancy at this point. *hugs* to you either way. This is the most stressful and emotional spot. Maybe plan something exciting and different tonight to keep your mind off of it?

You can add me to the list of people who would like to adopt, but whose DH's are not into it at all. He can never explain to me -why- but he's said he would not want to. I'm very interested in adopting or fostering after a few of our own. My mother was the type to constantly bring home 'strays', usually friends of my brothers and sisters with bad home lives, and have them live with us for a few months, and I think I've gotten the bug from her.

I got angry with DH last night because it's too early for O, so I wanted to initiate something that I -knew- in my head wasn't just for baby sakes... and when I came into the room to read for a bit and relax and left the hall light on, he got angry and told me I was keeping him awake. So I went and read myself to sleep on the living room couch. *hmph* That'll teach him! lol

Otherwise... I dunno. Days like today make me want to tear my hair out. The house is a -mess-, and I'm on a three day off stretch and get to spend the whole time cleaning. And then I think wait a minute, once we have kids, this is all I'll be doing, what am I getting myself into? I wish DH was more of a help, but then I feel like I don't want to ask for help, because then it questions the validity of my being a sahm, if I can't even keep the house clean... urg. I'm in one heck of a mood today Carry on with happy thoughts!

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by jeninejessica

You can add me to the list of people who would like to adopt, but whose DH's are not into it at all. He can never explain to me -why- but he's said he would not want to. I'm very interested in adopting or fostering after a few of our own. My mother was the type to constantly bring home 'strays', usually friends of my brothers and sisters with bad home lives, and have them live with us for a few months, and I think I've gotten the bug from her.

I'm like your mother. I'm always letting my 19yo son's friends stay here. He has a lot of friends whose parents kick them out of the house for various ridiculous reasons. I don't get how they can be ok with the idea that their children, even if they are technically adults, may be sleeping outside somewhere and have nowhere to eat. The parents don't know me so they don't know that I'm going to let their kids stay here. It drives my dh crazy, which causes problems between us.

It seems so strange to me that my dh is so against adoption. He wanted to adopt my son when we got married. When we were going through infertility treatments and there was some question about his sperm viability, he didn't have a problem with using donor sperm. The last time we talked about ite only had one child so it wasn't fear of having too many kids.

Christy ~ Welcome. If you don't mind me asking, why do you use condoms and w/d? I'd think that would make the risk of an oops higher because the condom could slide off. W/D only has a 1% higher method failure rate than condoms so I don't see the need for using both, especially if you aren't strictly avoiding. Just curious about why you do that. (We use w/d, btw.)

[kcroto42]

Dear Ovaries:

Tomorrow would be a good day to O. Just saying.

Thanks.

Love,

Kristine.

(Blahblahblah)

[Baby_Cakes]

Originally Posted by kcroto42

Dear Ovaries:

Tomorrow would be a good day to O. Just saying.

Thanks.

Love,

Kristine.

(Blahblahblah)

Maybe it's today though! Lets see what the next 3 days worth of temps say!!

Hi Christie! You'll love it here - thanks for joining in!

[akind1]

Welcome Christie! I too want to keep this thread going!

MW - the market does suck right now doesn't it? I remember my dad was going back and forth to Quantico for what seemed like forever for OCS. (When you're in high school, everything seems like forever, LOL) Hopefully you can stay put a bit. The main downside to the USMC is that there aren't a whole lot of base options. Lejeune, and the surrounding sub-bases, and California for stateside. Hawaii and Okinawa. At least that's how it always seemed to me.

Jenine - I found that DH really started helping around the house once DS was born. I think it became obvious to him (finally!) that I really couldn't nurse DS on demand, work, and take care of the house. I have a great working situation -well, for me - I WOH 2 days, and WAH 3. DH mostly is a SAHD and does some freelance stuff on the side. Maybe your DH will be the same way

oh, and I do the same to DH, I am like, we both agree we want to DTD more, but when it's on the table, so to speak, if you don't decide to come to bed (when I go), you can't be dissapointed if I've fallen asleep by the time you get there!

eh, maybe he will be in the mood this week . . .I do really like the Whatever-ing makes DTD much more fun and less stress. We tried for 2 years to have DS, and then, while pregnant, well, we really didn't DTD much. Trying to pick the pace back up after what you figure is nearly a year if you add pregnancy + PP recovery time, is not as easy as you think.

Looking forward to chart stalking! It somehow takes the heat off yourself a bit if you can obsess over somebody else's temps! LOL

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by akind1

MW - The main downside to the USMC is that there aren't a whole lot of base options. Lejeune, and the surrounding sub-bases, and California for stateside. Hawaii and Okinawa. At least that's how it always seemed to me.

I consider that an upside. The likelihood of being stationed near a beach is very high. There's also Quantico and the base in Arlington. Since I'm from that area I'm not interested in going to either of those, although I think most jobs there are nondeployable. Marines can get stationed at any military base, depending on what they want to do. Being stationed at a Naval base isn't uncommon. There's also recruiting duty, which can put you anywhere in the country. Right now my dh is at an Army base. Our first duty station was Hawaii, which we loved and want to go back. Our ds2 was born there. I'm not interested in going to Okinawa and, so far, that hasn't been a problem. We're hoping to go to San Diego 3 years from now since we haven't been there. Then maybe back to Hawaii.

[lilcrunchymama]

MW - Ok, just keep in mind that this is something my DB wanted to do. Sorry if it is TMI, but I don't know a better way to explain... We start off without anything, then once he reaches his peak he pulls out and throws a condom on and then goes back in. He says it is so he gets his the "normal" way, too. Seriously, it has become an annoying routine.

Thanks for the welcomes, everyone! This thread is fun so far!

[MarineWife]

Ah, ok, Christie. Sorry if I got too personal. I was thinking you used the condom the entire time and still pulled out. We use w/d and I've asked my dh several times if that ruins the moment for him but says it doesn't. I don't think anything could ruin it for him, though.

[lilcrunchymama]

Heck NO! I would not let him do that. LOL I don't think anything could ruin it for a guy, really. As long as they get one I guess they don't care. HAHA

[akind1]

When we use condoms, DH usually throws it on about halfway through, b/c if we start with it, it seems to dry me out too much. I don't care with or without, but he says it makes a difference.

Dad thought about recruiting duty, but didn't like the hours. Okinawa is great, btw - beaches like Hawaii, but lots less crowded. But, wives get left alot, b/c Marines get shipped to Thailand, Korea, Australia from there.

DS I think is cutting another tooth - one of those evenings that makes me wonder, do I really want to avoid, or whatever?

[lilcrunchymama]

Katrina - DP says there is a difference for him, too. I only feel a difference sometimes, but he says he feels a difference all the time.