First time dealing with a doctor - any tips?

[MrsPil]

My beautiful little intact boy was born on May 7th and seems a little reflux-y, so in to the ped we go. I've never dealt with a western medical doctor before (my daughter has only ever seen the chiropractor) - are there any pointers? Is there a polite way to say both of his testicles have descended and that's not the problem anyway so just leave the diaper on? I really don't want to put the doctor off since we aren't doing any vax's or testing and DCFS in the area tends to be pretty rabid about lifestyle choices that are viewed as alternative, but I'm not willing to take any chances with retraction.

Any tips or thoughts on dealing with docs are appreciated!

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

In your situation what I would do is wait and see if the Dr. starts to check under the diaper. If he does then what I would say is "My son is intact (not circed) and I am not comfortable with anyone touching his penis. I dont care if you look but please no touching"

Be prepared to remove the Dr. hand because many times they will go ahead and do it any way, BTDT and it sucks, He will probably say he was just going to check "X". Just repeat what you said before about not touching it and if there is ever a problem you will let him know.

The first time with ds I didnt say anything I was to shy and waited to see what happened well the Dr. proceeded to try and retract and I say NO stop and put my hand on his no harm done thankfully but I shudder to think what might have happened had I not stopped him physically fast enough.

The second time I explained to the Dr. my concerns about retracting and he said OH I would never do that. Then proceeded to try and retract

Since then I have adopted the Please dont touch speech when their hands start moving toward the diaper. It is just easier that way even though I usually get the but I wasnt going to retract speech. I cant trust them any more.

[Greg B]

Remeber that doctors are trained to do something. Examine things. Probe and look inside. It is very hard for them to just look without touching. And since they do not get generally get correct information about foreskins, they many times seem to look at foreskins as problems waiting to happen.

You must be firm and forceful. Just do not let them touch it. But be ready to stop them physically, they can't help themselves, do it unconsciously, probably.

Regards

[karika]

I would say to avoid any western medicine facility unless you have a bone that needs to be set or an organ removed. I would deal with the refluxy symptoms naturally. Anything a ped will prescribe or do for the condition will create other health issues instead of fixing it (it will be made of unnatural ingredients and also compromise your beautiful baby's pristine gut), the methods chosen generally just cover it up. Like for heartburn many people regularly take acid reducing substances. This creates heartburn and the need for more acid reducing substances. Restoring the balance by taking an acidic substance (vinegar) is actually the solution for heartburn. But a western physician will not tell you that, because they do not know it, and the drug companies are not selling vinegar. It is also not in the interests of the healthcare industry for anyone to be completely well. They make money by helping to create illness. I am not a health professional in any way btw. I am assuming you are breastfeeding. Are you dairy free and soy free? These would be the most likely source of most problems in a newborn that are gastro related. Here is a good page about reflux in a newborn http://www.kellymom.com/babyconcerns/reflux.html If you still feel you should see a professional, please consider a naturopath, homeopath, or a nutritional specialist, maybe an allergy doctor.

[JBaxter]

I usually make a list of questions to ask. Ive had my ped for a long time and he knows me but if I was seeing someone else I'd probably do

1. Baby X seems to have some reflux
- we tried X already
( discussion)
2. Baby is intact and we care for him by the AAP guidelines of not retracting
Is there any reason you would have to check his penis? ( wait for answer)

3. any other concerns


I always have my list out by now my ped says... anything else on the list? Then he does his exam and I stand right there or actually hold him for the ear check, heart/lung check etc.

[Super~Single~Mama]

Also, they might not try to do anything. Most dr's my LO has seen haven't touched his penis at all - they look, and then have me put his dipe back on so they don't get peed on.

The one who did was nasty about it, and I made clear that I'm his mom and I make the rules.

[jenP]

Congratulations on your perfect baby boy!

If the problem seems to be stomach/esophagus related, there should be no reason for his diaper to even be off. I've never heard about the penis having any relation to reflux at all so there should be no reason for the Dr. to even look at your baby's penis. I would just leave him in his diaper. If the Dr. asks you to remove it, or looks like s/he is going to remove it, ask them specifically what they need to check for under there. If it is something reasonable, like they want to palpate the belly or check the anus for redness, then remove the diaper yourself and inform them that they are not to touch his penis at all; YOU will move it aside if it is in the way of other things they need to check. If they question why, just explain that you know too many people whose babies were harmed by doctors moving their foreskins. If they don't have a good reason to remove the diaper, then refuse.
You can't just say "don't retract" because doctors think that "retraction" means to pull the foreskin ALL THE WAY back BEHIND the glans. Anything less they think is "not retraction."

I bet if you just leave baby in his diaper you should be fine.
Good luck, hope you get his problem worked out!

Jen

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

No the penis dosnt have anything to do with reflux but I have learned that taking ds in even for a ear infection meant the Dr. checked under his diaper. I am sure that this varies by Dr. but you cant just assume because the problem has nothing to do with the penis that they will not mess with it BTDT as well

[erin23kate]

Some doctors get it completely.

Our doctor is from Poland. When she opened our son's diaper, she squealed in delight and said "Oh wonderful, you left him PERRRRFECT!" (the accent made it so memorable) and went on to talk at length about the importance of leaving his foreskin alone. She is a full-on intactivist who says she wants to cry every time she sees a new circ wound on a baby boy.

So... you might be surprised. Some doctors actually ARE informed.

[Lit Chick]

As other mamas have said, be prepared to tell the doc "hands off" and to move those hands.
My ped is great. The first time we saw her was for thrush, and she looked him over head-to-toe (since it can go systematic and turn into nasty diaper rash). I think she did touch his penis, but it was not an "exam", more like looking in his folds for rash. I was totally ready for combat too. Since then, she's never checked under his diaper, since we've only been back for the odd cold/ear infection. And she never even talked about his foreskin. She's a treasure.

[jenP]

Originally Posted by MCatLvrMom2A&X

No the penis dosnt have anything to do with reflux but I have learned that taking ds in even for a ear infection meant the Dr. checked under his diaper. I am sure that this varies by Dr. but you cant just assume because the problem has nothing to do with the penis that they will not mess with it BTDT as well :

Oh, absolutely! Most doctors I've ever seen just have this urge to poke around at everything they can! Sorry, I did not mean to imply that taking a child in for reflux would mean that he would be safe from probing fingers. I only meant to say, there should be no reason for the parent to take the diaper off or to let the doctor take the diaper off or look under it. In fact, you may want to use an old-fashioned pinned-on cloth diaper with old-fashioned rubber pants (the kind you have to pull all the way down over their feet to get off) over it! That way there is no way the doctor can have the diaper off before you get a chance to react! Those pins are really difficult to unfasten.

Jen

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

I love that idea

[poppan]

Not sure if this is true of other pedi's, but ours seems to do differently depending on whether you are there for a "well baby check" vs a specific problem.

For a well baby check they look in the diaper (never occurred to me to ask them not to touch until reading this thread, but she never retracted in all the times we've been there).

For a specific problem appointment, our pedi stays focused on only the problem and does not do other things she might do at a "check up". I think it's a cost-savings measure, to be honest. They are trying to get us out of there as efficiently as possible.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

Poppan that is great you have a Dr. who is hands off. I wish they all where If you have the time go to this thread A Warning To Parents of Intact Sons and see how common this kind o thing really is.

Also this one The Definition of Retraction & Why it is BAD Many Dr. think that retraction = pulling it all the way back to expose the glans but that isnt the case at all Any movement of the foreskin back toward the body no matter how they do it is retraction and is a huge

[serendipity22]

Some doctors may be a little arrogant. They may consider themselves to be a lot more intelligent than you, while at the same time not having the intelligence to question anything that were taught at medical school (especially re the foreskin).

I've met a few condescending ones. Its never too late to change doctors.

Good communication with them is very important.