Do You Do Sit-Down Dinners? - Page 2

[Drummer's Wife]

yes, but we don't eat until 7 or later most nights. I almost never cook dinner until DH is home to help (with the kids or cooking). But my kids stay up late and sleep in late, so it just happens to work with our lifestyle to eat dinner together every night - even if DH is at the office until 5:30-6 pm.

[Turquesa]

OP here. I appreciate the suggestions. I probably should have mentioned that DH goes to work at 6:30am, so breakfast isn't an option, and his workaholism is probably something that I could address in the Parents as Partners forum. He didn't grow up with this custom, so that compounds the problem. Thanks for all of the support and feedback, though. Keep it coming.

[Bellabaz]

My dh comes home around 6-6:30. He too changes into comfy clothes.
Dd1 is 3, dd2 is 9 months. I SAH and I usually do 80% of dinner prep before dh comes home. He cooks to though sometimes.

Dd2 gets hungry and eats dinner between 6:30 and 7. So she is good to go for awhile after that.

Dd1 isn't that picky fortunately so I make sure to include at least one item that she likes in the dinner. We usually eat around 7:30. We do sit down to eat together. except on night a week when dh does something afterwork. But I still sit down with dd1 while she eats and then I eat later with dh.

Around 8 dd2 is ready for boob and bed. Sometimes this is the point in our meal when we are having fruit so I wait to have my fruit until she is in bed. Otherwise while I am putting her down, Dh and dd1 do the dishes. Then we both read a story with dd2 and get her readxy for bed. She is in bed by 8:45 usually.

[justKate]

Originally Posted by Turquesa

Having this ritual is very important to me, and I want to find a way to make it work. I do cook every night, but we never manage to sit down together to eat what I prepare. I'm a SAHM, and DH gets home from work at 6:30.

He usually goes to the bathroom/changes into something comfortable/dawdles around until 7:00pm. So we couldn't start until then.

I usually have meetings and other commitments at least a couple of nights per week, so I'm partly to blame.

DD (age 3) is a notoriously picky eater who won't eat a bite of what I cook, so she'll probably just sit and count the minutes until she can get up again.

By 7:30 or 8:00, DS (baby) is getting crabby and ready for bed.

In short, it seems like all of the forces are against us. If you do sit-down dinners, please tell me how I could make it work!! Thanks.

I too have a huz whose bathroom time always interferes with dinner.

I guess, depending on your Huz's personality, I would try one of two approaches:

1. TELL him that this is important to you, and you want to try to see if it can work, maybe 2 days/week. On those two days, see if he will agree to be at the table at 6:45. I would feed the little ones when they're hungry, and they can do whatever at the table while you guys eat. Really it's less about eating together than spending that time together on a regular basis. Maybe that can be coloring time for DD and playing with ice cubes time for the baby (if he's old enough?).

2. Advise him that dinner will be served promptly at 6:??, and that "we'd like you to be there." Explain that it is too hard on you to make dinner twice, but that the leftovers will be in the fridge. Serve dinner one time, put it away. He'll either be there or he won't.

We both WOTH, so we always do big breakfasts on Saturday and Sunday. Maybe you could start with that and ease in to sit-downs during the week. If it's a cultural difference, then maybe there is something else that you could do together that would have the same "coming together" type feel?

...just brainstorming. I hope you find a way to meet everyone's needs. Good luck.

[Proudmom2Teeg]

Did not read all the replies.....

Growing up my parents very rarely had sit down dinners. ;( We would all sit in front of the TV. I really missed out with that bonding time with my parents. Its so important for me with my family now. Even though my son is only 14 months old my husband son and I all sit down everyday we are at home. I feel as our children get older it is a good time to talk about our day and bond. It kind of forces everyone to talk LOL

For someone who didnt grow up eating at the table it is sooooo important to me.

[dawncayden]

Dh doesn't get home until 9pm on work nights so he doesn't eat with us. I aim to have dinner ready at 6pm, just for the kids and me. I put a plate in the fridge for dh for when he gets home.
In your situation, I would have dinner ready at 6:30, and tell dh that you will start eating 5 minutes after he gets home. That way he has 5 minutes to change into comfy clothes but (hopefully) you can all eat together. I am sure he can understand that eating at a regular time is good for our bodies, especially kids.
When he walks in the door, give him a reminder 'dinner will be on the table in 5 minutes!'.

[proudmamanow]

I'm the WOH partner in my house & me make this a big priority as a family. I am lucky enough to have a SAHP who almost always has dinner ready or almost ready when I get home.
She gets me to call when I leave which gives her 45 min. to get things ready...I help her by playing with the girls as soon as I get home or else finishing dinner, depending on how her day was
Crockpot is often a lifesaver for us too!

ETA: we also have a picky 5 yo with sensory issues, so our dinners are not always pleasant and restful, but we persist and keep trying to make it better & try to always offer at least one thing she likes.

[momasana]

We do sit down dinners every night, but our schedule works well for it. DH usually gets home between 4:30 -5:00.

Is there any way your family can have sit-down breakfasts instead?

[barefootmama0709]

Due to my DH's hours, sit-down dinners are a no-go in this house. He gets home between 9-11 PM most nights, long after the kids are in bed. We live in a smallish apartment, so I clean while the kids are eating so the noise doesn't wake them up later. I often sit with them for lunch though, but not always.

[phathui5]

We have family dinner 4-6 nights a week. There is usually a night or two where I have doula stuff and one where dh has band practice. But when we're all home, we all eat dinner together.

[flminivanmama]

my dh works nights so it's just me and the kids (three boys) - I used to give in to their pickiness and not really make a family dinner... I just made something for them I knew they'd eat and then I'd make something for myself for after they went to bed or while they were watching tv.... but a few years ago I decided I was not going to be held hostage by their picky eating (I know this is not the OPs issue...) and I started cooking for all 4 of us. They ove it, I love it, and dh likes finding yummy leftovers when he gets home in the middle of the night....

dh does wake up early and we all eat breakfast together. (which is pretty awesome considering he goes to bed around 2 am....)

[nd_deadhead]

OP, is your DH familiar with the research that clearly shows that the single most important thing parents can do to keep their kids safe from trouble is to eat meals together on a regular basis? I think the key for you is to get him to consider eating together important enough so that he's willing to work a little harder to make it happen.

My twin boys are almost 16, and we have been eating dinner together regularly practically their whole lives. The benefits are tremendous! The boys have learned how to carry on a conversation with adults, without really trying. We get to hear about each others' day. Sometimes we talk about current events, friends, family - and sometimes we just plain get silly!

Last summer the boys were staying with my mom, and she invited two friends over for dinner. Mom's friends (both in their 70's) were so impressed that the boys not only willingly sat at the table with the "old ladies" long after the meal was finished, but made valuable contributions to the conversation. That isn't going to happen without a lot of practice!