Really need help/advice/support/hug...15 month old

[Toposlonoshlep]

Hi mamas,

I am not one to lose it, but I am at a loss right now. My sweet, charming, independent 15 month old has turned all sour/pissy/clingy/oppositional/needy in the last two days. I don't know what it is. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to help him. I am sleep deprived and I feel like a new mother once again because I can't put him down for a second. It sets off a tantrum.
I feel so overwhelmed, and when I ask friends (all of whom happen to have older toddlers), they tell me he may just be getting older and asserting his needs and that this is only the beginning. I don't feel good about that. I can't do this too much longer.

I need to diagnose the problem and try to help him. I suspect maybe teething, but he has never had this kind of reaction to growing teeth before, although he didn't grow his first until his 1 year birthday. He (and I) just got over a bad cold, and I thought maybe a secondary infection, but there aren't any symptoms of an ear or sinus infection, so I ruled it out. We share the bed, and he usually sleeps through the night, waking up a couple of times to nurse. The last two nights, he woke up pissed off, refusing to nurse in the middle of the night, arching his back, clinging to me and digging his face into my neck crying. He would only go back to sleep if I carried him around in the Ergo for two hours (this is at 3am), only to wake back up and cry hysterically when I went to put him down. The day is not much better. He wakes up from his (pretty long nap cranky. He rubs his face (his nose), cries, and clings. NOT THE CHILD I HAVE GOTTEN USED TO.

Please just tell me it's teeth. Or something else to look for.
Please tell me this won't continue for another year and a half...

And thank you for letting me vent. I am sitting here in tears feeling like a bad mom just as I thought I really had the hang of it after a year and then some.

[rightkindofme]

These kinds of phases happen once in a while. My daughter is one of the most mellow I have ever encountered. When I talk about her normal behavior people frequently hate my guts because she is *so* easy. These phases still happen to us. They are super hard. Every time they happen I feel like I will lose my mind. I get through them by gritting my teeth and dropping everything else from my life until they pass. I don't deal with cooking, cleaning, going out, even bathing gets ditched for a few days. It really is hard. Usually right after one of those spells there is some HUGE jump in development and she goes back to normal.

If your son is not usually like this don't assume it will continue. Get through it one day, sometimes one hour at a time. It will pass.

[LuminosaJane]

That's happened here before too. Usually teeth or illness, often illness. But your ds will be back. Hope you can get a break soon.

[Anna's Lovey]

Sounds to me like she's sick. My lo is pretty needy, but the only time she acts over-the-top needy is when she's sick or starting to be sick. Even normal grouchy toddler phases aren't as bad as what you describe. Have you considered taking her to the dr?

[happysmileylady]

Ok, deep breaths mama. Remember, it's only been two days. That doesn't indicate a new life long personality, just probably some little bug.

If he just got over a cold, and he flipped out at night, he might still be experiencing some night time stuffiness. Often when I have a cold, I go another whole week where I have trouble breathing at night, and wake up with fluid in my ears. Even if it doesn't turn into an ear infection, fluid in the ears can be uncomfortable for a toddler. It can also amplify sounds, so they cry, it hurts their ears, they cry more, it hurts more, it becomes a vicious cycle.

And it could be teeth too. And it could be a combo of both. Sinus issues-pressure, infection, stuffiness etc- can all irritate teeth problems. If he has teeth coming in and he just got over a cold, those little gums might be more irritated than they otherwise would be.

Have you looked at his throat? Not the easiest to do at this age (my younger dd is only a few months older than your LO.) but if he just had a cold, he could still have a sore throat, making it painful to swallow to nurse.

Could also be some allergies, it's that time of year. Mild hay fever or something.

Plus, if he's having problems sleeping, that's just going to naturally lead to crankiness during the day.