Discouraged

[Salem Lily]

This is my first pregnancy and I am really hoping for a homebirth.

I'm getting a bit discouraged because I've heard
(from friends, 1 midwife, message boards) that most successful homebirths are with mommas that have already given birth before. I know my risk for a transfer is a little higher, but is it really as uncommon as I'm hearing? Do 1st babies just take longer and it's because of exhaustion?

I need some encouragement and reassurance that it's possible from those that have done it! Thanks ladies!

[dannic]

I'm not speaking from experience (my first was in a FSBC) but I am sure there are plenty of mamas who have had their first at home. I'd say go for it and leave all the naysayers behind!

[rad]

I had my 1st baby at home. I don't see why people think you need to have 1 birth under your belt for a HB. IMO with all the risk of unnecessary intervention that a first time mom can end up with, I wanted to stay as far from the hospital as possible with my 1st. I was fortunate and my 1st labor was only 4 hours. I know the average is longer than that, but I think if you rest in early labor and keep yourself hydrated and fed, you should probably do fine.

[evjolin]

yes, statistically a 1st timer has a higher rate of transfer. i could be wrong, but the stats i am familiar with are something like 10% transfer is common in general and for a 1st timer it's closer to 25-30%.....not 100% positive on that though. that being said, i am still going for it :-) 3/10 chance of transferring isn't too shabby....

i figure my rate of intervention will be lower and if i can be as mentally prepared as possible i will do just fine. exhaustion can be a big factor, but i am really going to try and rest as much as possible during the 1st stage to keep up my energy level.

just my 2 cents!!

[peainthepod]

Hey, mama! I had my first baby at home. I was in active labor for about 12 hours, pushed for two hours (which was the hardest part, but I never thought about transferring), and had a bouncing, beautiful, healthy baby boy right in my own bed. Within an hour after the birth I'd taken a shower, changed into my own pajamas, and was sipping hot soup and trying to learn to nurse him and just cuddling lovingly with DH and our child. Here's my birth story, if you want to read it: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=999892

Homebirth has been the default choice for birthing for thousands of years. Most first-time mothers in human history had their babies at home. Don't for one second think you can't do it just because you've never done it before.

I think first babies usually do take longer, but that's all the more reason to stay home! In a hospital, you're on a really tight schedule and if the OB decides you're taking "too long", they might start intervening which can lead to more and more interventions that you never would have needed if they hadn't started tinkering with your body in the first place.

I found it helpful to read as much about birth (the process, what to expect, etc.) as I could and immersed myself in positive birth stories. The more you know, the less you'll fear the unknown, if that makes sense.

[basje]

I had mine at home...

I have to disagree with the people giving you advice. I know more people who had successful home births for their first than who've had to go to the hospital. In my experience labor is hard physical work, uncomfortable, and incredibly empowering. I would advise against using any midwife that doesn't fully believe in your ability to labor at home. Go for it!

If you're worried about being able to stick it out I would highly recommend that you do the hypnobabies program (note this is not the same as hypnobirthing) I found it very useful.

[cathicog]

Originally Posted by Salem Lily

This is my first pregnancy and I am really hoping for a homebirth.

I'm getting a bit discouraged because I've heard
(from friends, 1 midwife, message boards) that most successful homebirths are with mommas that have already given birth before. I know my risk for a transfer is a little higher, but is it really as uncommon as I'm hearing? Do 1st babies just take longer and it's because of exhaustion?

I need some encouragement and reassurance that it's possible from those that have done it! Thanks ladies!

I think most first time moms call the midwife too soon! We just did a birth last monday for a first time mom(we do homebirths, I am an assistant/CPM candidate) and she went from 3 cm to baby in 5 hrs! (that's unusual though, most take 12-24) Wish I had my first baby at home(I did the other two). You will do fine, listen to your body and not the naysayers! We do first-time moms a lot. Sure beats hospital births!

[bobandjess99]

I had my first at home (second too, lol!). I think that one reason is just that labor can BLOW your mind. For some people, it really is just SO much more than they thought it would be, and they aren't prepared or able to handle it. Either on an emotional level, or physical level, in terms of strength and exhaustion, or just a pure pain level. But that being said, you absolutely can birth your first at home, no prob. And I'd probably stay far away from any midwife who told me otherawise *wink*.

[Carson]

I will bump a thread - I stressed about the same thing.

I was a first-birth home birth and I rocked it, with the right preparation and support from DH and my MW. YOU ABSOLUTELY CAN DO IT. Even though you don't think you know what you are doing now, your body does!

[Juvysen]

My midwife said her transfer rate for first time moms was 10% and for later moms about 1%. Mostly for first time moms what happens is that labor runs long and mom gets exhausted and either goes to the hospital for pain meds or she gets dehydrated and goes in for iv fluids (some women find it difficult to get enough liquid during labor or they end up throwing up a lot which is a much bigger deal if you have a 20 hr labor than if you have a 5 hr labor, of course). I think the cesarean rate was like 4%, just to give you an idea.

[BtotheG]

Wanted to add my voice to all those who already posted....you absolutely can have your first baby at home. I had my first baby at home last October, and am SO GLAD I did.

[thenaturefreak]

You can do it My first has been my easiest/quickest birth and it was at home. By the time I knew I was in labor, I only had 3 hours till birth. My second I labored off and on through the night and gave birth late in the morning. Of all the homebirthing mommas I know, they all had their first baby at home with no transfer.

[Fly Girl]

You can definitely have your first at home! I did!! And I wouldn't have done it any other way! I agree with the others that most 1st time moms transfer because of exhaustion. Labor is hard work and it tends to be longer for 1st time moms. I think a lot of moms get really excited when labor finally starts and then they have a hard time resting, not realizing how long labor can run. My first labor at home had a long early labor about 14 hours, luckily I was able to sleep through a lot of it. And then I had a 7 hour active labor, including one hour of pushing. For comparison, I just had my second homebirth 2 weeks ago and my total labor time was 2 and 1/2 hours!!

[MidwifeErika]

I love first-time moms who are planning homebirths! You are doing the absolute best thing to be sure you avoid interventions that can impact all your future births (c-sections and such). You absolutely can do it!

[Bubblette]

First time mamas can definitely have awesome home births! Even with long labors. I just had my first at home; it was 48 hours from when I knew I was in labor to babe in arms. I couldn't lie down even during early labor because mild contractions while sitting or standing were excruciating while lying down. Active labor was about 15 and a half hours and pushing was about 30ish mins. I made it through because of the amazing support I had!

The midwife group my midwife is a part of reports 1 in 4 first time moms transfer, most due to exhaustion or for pain control. Each midwife and/or group will have different transfer rates. Looking into them may help you feel better about your decision, or help you make choices.

I think the most important things to have a midwife and support team that believe in your ability to have an awesome birth at home, and to eat, drink, and rest as much as possible throughout your labor.

[Defenestrator]

One way to look at it is this -- your chances of having a homebirth without a transfer as a first-time mom are better than your chances of having a vaginal birth as a first-time mom in the hospital in most areas of the country.

[Galatea]

My MW comes from a state where HB is legal. She said that in her experience, the primip transfer rate being higher than with multips has to do with the primips not being as prepared nor knowing what they were in for, and getting panicky. She said that when HB was illegal, she had fewer transfers, b/c the women choosing HB "illegally" were very committed, but once it was legal, there were women who were not as sure about having a HB, and they tended to transfer earlier and more often.

First births generally take longer, but it is way better to be at home for a long time with a patient midwife, than be at a hospital with an impatient doctor! I feel better knowing that if my MW said we needed to go to the hospital for a medical intervention, that we really needed that intervention. At the hospital, I never trust that what the doctor suggests is really necessary. (That is a pretty freaking sad statement, huh?)

[Gena 22]

What helped me prepare mentally for my HB, which was my first, was to understand that very few first time transfers were for emergencies. As PP have said, most are for maternal exhaustion. Which is no small thing, but at least something you can expect and plan to minimize it. Be patient, rest as much and when you can.

I narrowly avoided transfer - what would have helped is drinking more electrolytes during the early stages. I got really dehydrated. Try some coconut water, it's good stuff!

Remember - in some ways first timers are the best HBers! They have no preconceived notions or fears to overcome. You can do this! Definitely! If your MW or anyone else discourages you, find another provider. Surround yourself with positive energy. Get tough. And do it!

Best wishes!

[hapersmion]

What Defenestrator said!

I had my first baby out of the hospital (at the Farm), breech! You can do it, no problem!

Definitely do look at the transfer rate for first-timers for the midwives you're considering, though. It can vary a lot, and the rate can give you a good idea of their philosophy. I'd consider 10% to be the maximum, personally, but I'd prefer a lower rate. My midwife with my second son had a much lower rate than that, even with first time moms.

[St. Margaret]

Originally Posted by Defenestrator

One way to look at it is this -- your chances of having a homebirth without a transfer as a first-time mom are better than your chances of having a vaginal birth as a first-time mom in the hospital in most areas of the country.

WORD!

I had DD in the hospital but with a very unusual OB; I knew there would be NO unecessary interventions. If I couldn't have gotten in with him (at the time my insurance and financial situation made this 100% free prenatals and birth the only real option), I would have sold my hair to finance a homebirth or something along those lines. But even with how great it is, I know HB is going to be even better! You are making it so that if you end up in the hospital and with some interventions, you know you REALLY needed them. Unfortunatly just going in, even waiting until you think it's about time to push, really ups the chances of interventions and other stuff that will just take away from the experience. (Being able to be home right away, not even released early, and to have DD there... these are key to us).

You can do it! And the fact that some women transfer does not mean that they should all just start in the hospital anyway!