Controlling toddlers in public - Page 2

[Areia]

I agree with the others - you're fine.

My daughter is 2.5 and it's just NOW that she can entertain herself a bit in the doctor's office or that I've gotten her to walk quietly next to me in stores, that I can sort of reason with her a bit, etc. 14 months is still very much a "baby" even if she's running around.

[tjjazzy]

Originally Posted by Biscuits & Gravy

The ways you handled those situations sound perfectly fine to me! I think your DH is being unrealistic. Perhaps he should attempt an errand with your LO by himself to gain some perspective.

i would definitely tell him to see how well he does next time. you stay home and have a bubblebath or something.
in our house, we do everything together. doctor appointments, shopping (except groceries-he does that on his own), etc. if dh's not with me, my mom is. sometimes he takes them on his own or takes one boy while one stays home with me. granted, i don't drive so doing it any other way has never occurred to us but i figure why torture yourself trying to do it on your own? i always feel bad for moms i see trying to do their shopping with a bunch of kids in tow and no helper in sight. if one ds falls asleep in the car, one of us waits in the car. if we have to stop somewhere and don't want to take the boys in, one of us waits in the car with the boys. and we always take along toys, a stroller, food, books...

[bluebirdiemama]

I think you are doing a great job. It sounds like your dh needs to come with you on a few outings, if he thinks she should just sit still

[LROM]

You already nailed it OP: your husband's misconceptions about what's realistic to expect from a 14 month old are mostly rooted in his LACK of experience with a 14 month old in public.

I understand you have really different work schedules, but as much as possible I would try (if I were you) to orchestrate a couple of extended periods with your DD in public, and be honest with your husband that you want to observe and learn from him what he thinks is best and most effective, because what he says doesn't match what you see.

Even if it's a one time thing, try to get him to handle her for 2 hours in a public place with limited things to do (both go to the next doc's appt then hang out longer, or spend a loooong time in a restaurant if you can, or spend an entire day shopping for household stuff...) and let your DH do all the baby management. All of it!

Also, one other thing I don't think was mentioned: I think your husband also overestimates how the public feels about the things you let your DD do. From what you describe I can't imagine being peeved (or even noticing) your DDs behavior for the most part. Only people who just generally dislike children would probably be put off, and they'd be put off no matter how quiet yours was. But runnign up and down an empty hallway? Spending 2 1/2 hrs at a car dealership and not melting down completely? To me she sounds very well behaved and like you managed her very well. ANd I would have thought that even before I had my own babe.

[francie024]

hmmm

Some good points here.

[crunchy_mommy]

Originally Posted by francie024

I see a lot of good suggestions on here about toddlers. But here is a question for all of you regarding my 27 month old DD.

How can I deal with these behaviors at the grocery store:
ripping off safety strap and standing in basket set.
I get her down and let her push basket after a few minutes.
She proceeds to rip everything off the shelves.
I redirect her to pushing basket.
She runs down the isle in the opposite direction nearly getting plowed by other shopping carts.
I'm having to run after her.
I collect her and she is throwing a tantrum.
I'm talking calmly to her about why this is not ok.
This is all after I had already given her toys and a smoothie while she was in the basket. I even let her put produce in the bag and let her hold grocery items. Doesn't work. She still rips off the strap after about 10 minutes and stands up in the basket.

Will someone please suggest a GD strategy that will work? I'm at my wits end. She does this every time we are at the store lately.

I know this thread is regarding a 14 month old, but i saw that some of you have 2 year olds. Maybe you can help me.

Well mine is 16mos but does everything you describe except unbuckling the strap (and he's working on that one! ) Our way of dealing with it is just not to go shopping alone with DS. If I'm just running in to pick up a few things, I can usually deal with it, but if I'm going to do a whole grocery shopping then DH comes along and we take turns shopping while the other chases DS & cleans up his trail... If you can't have another adult with you, could you split your grocery trips into several shorter ones? A bit of a pain but seems better than the alternative .... Maybe shop for frozen stuff one day and produce another etc. and incorporate it into other outings (the park etc.) so you're not spending extra in gas.

[laughymama]

Originally Posted by francie024

I see a lot of good suggestions on here about toddlers. But here is a question for all of you regarding my 27 month old DD.

How can I deal with these behaviors at the grocery store:
ripping off safety strap and standing in basket set.
I get her down and let her push basket after a few minutes.
She proceeds to rip everything off the shelves.
I redirect her to pushing basket.
She runs down the isle in the opposite direction nearly getting plowed by other shopping carts.
I'm having to run after her.
I collect her and she is throwing a tantrum.
I'm talking calmly to her about why this is not ok.
This is all after I had already given her toys and a smoothie while she was in the basket. I even let her put produce in the bag and let her hold grocery items. Doesn't work. She still rips off the strap after about 10 minutes and stands up in the basket.

Will someone please suggest a GD strategy that will work? I'm at my wits end. She does this every time we are at the store lately.

I know this thread is regarding a 14 month old, but i saw that some of you have 2 year olds. Maybe you can help me.

We grocery shop at midnight. ...Seriously.

Our DS is 2 and frankly, him sitting calmly in the basket strapped in just isn't going to happen. He will typically stand in the large basket part with his back to me while holding on. I know this is totally frowned on but it's that or he's screaming the entire time, throwing things..etc.

We can't put him down because he's a runner. He'll happily sprint off on his own without a single glance back. He doesn't ever rip things off shelves but he certainly doesn't want to walk with us and stay on an aisle for more than 3 seconds. Too much to see and do, I suppose.

Other times, DH takes DS and puts him in one cart and they go look at the toys/electronics/fish..etc. Get a few things in others areas while I take another cart and do the bulk of the grocery shopping. This seems to work best.
DH gets out of grocery shopping, DS gets entertained and stays calm and they also pick up whatever misc. items we need. And I get the grocery shopping done in peace.

And yeah...we go at midnight. He gets way too wound up with a large crowd that would be there during the day and then he's stressed because he can't get down and run around. He just ends up exploding. We go when it's not busy and just do our best.

Oh and...are you going alone with her? You're a brave soul, mama.
I'm not sure if you could pay me enough to go alone with DS.

[LROM]

Also with the 2 1/2 yr old, is that too old/too big for an Ergo carrier? I know when 18 mo old DD is in a mood like that and is just bent on destruction and won't sit in the cart, wearing her on my back somehow seems to still both keep her happy and keep her unable to sprint/tear things down.

I know different kids react differently to being worn (especially older kids) but just wanted to share in case you haven't tried it. I think Ergos generally can be used up until kids are 3, can't they? Older?

[Latte Mama]

Originally Posted by LROM

Also with the 2 1/2 yr old, is that too old/too big for an Ergo carrier? I know when 18 mo old DD is in a mood like that and is just bent on destruction and won't sit in the cart, wearing her on my back somehow seems to still both keep her happy and keep her unable to sprint/tear things down.

I know different kids react differently to being worn (especially older kids) but just wanted to share in case you haven't tried it. I think Ergos generally can be used up until kids are 3, can't they? Older?

I wear my 21 month old and plan on wearing him well past his 2nd year. But NOT with an Ergo, man those things are short bodied. I have a few custom made SSC's that are awesome for things like grocery store trips. Started doing that when DS threw the laundry soap out of the basket and it splattered all over the floor. NOT pretty.

I highly reccommend a back carrier for a shopping trip!

[aussiemum]

For an energetic 2 year old, I second the idea of wearing her if possible. I used to use a hiking backpack with my DD in the supermarket (she was a runner), with DS in the trolley seat when he was little enough to stay put.

And I have to admit, for about 4 years I just refused to go grocery shopping with the kids together. I went after we finished dinner, & DH put them to bed on those nights. Now they are great, & I can send them back to find things I've missed in the aisles we've already passed. It actually cuts down on shopping time, which is a lovely advantage.